I'm done telling folks. They don't get it

[juicy35 2]

I have a co worker that says im going to die from the surgery. My whole family is against it. Haters

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'd rather die trying than die from obesity.

[CountryGirl5584 115]

I'd rather die trying than die from obesity.

Exactly!!! Cuz then all the haters would be like she should have had surgery the diets weren't working. Hypocrites

Edited January 27, 2015 by CountryGirl5584

[VSG Davis 19]

I told/tell everyone - i gathered up co-workers & I posted to all my friends on FB - I know someone that had it but has not said anything and people approach them all the time with oh my God how did you lose all the weight? - what's your secret? - what diet are you on? I don't want to go the rest of my life having to make something up as a response. I did this for MY life & MY health not for anyone else if they don't understand they can feel free to waste their time pondering - I won't waste one minute on explanations I've got my new life to live.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I didn't tell and I don't "make stuff up".

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I told/tell everyone - i gathered up co-workers & I posted to all my friends on FB - I know someone that had it but has not said anything and people approach them all the time with oh my God how did you lose all the weight? - what's your secret? - what diet are you on? I don't want to go the rest of my life having to make something up as a response. I did this for MY life & MY health not for anyone else if they don't understand they can feel free to waste their time pondering - I won't waste one minute on explanations I've got my new life to live.

I don't make grand announcements about my life in general. This was no different. I'm not making up explanations because I don't owe anyone any explanations about my life. EVER. Everyone is on a need to know. There are some people who get the information and some don't. When I had my menicus repair done I didn't feel a need to post on FB or tell everyone. Why? Because it was a needed surgery for my health. My WLS is exactly the same. I'm not hiding, I'm just feel no need to broadcast.

[BHoenig 31]

I was like that too in the beginning. I wasn't going to tell my mother and then just surprise her the next time we made the trip to see her. Then she broke her leg and needed surgery. I realized I better not have surgery without telling her so I did and she's been excited for me and supportive from the jump. We have a small circle of people who know, but I haven't made any grand announcements. I didn't say a word on Facebook. I just felt like this was my deal and I didn't want it to be about everyone else. I didn't need anyone commenting and cheering me on or questioning me about it. I needed to focus on doing what I needed to prepare and not on answering their questions. So I don't offer up the information, but I don't particularly hide it either. I don't have a good relationship with my dad and haven't talked to him in several years, but I know if he catches wind of this, he's going to take all the credit and come out of the woodwork. My weight has always been an issue for him and he hasn't been kind. Forget that he's the one who taught me all of my bad eating habits. Of course he's freaking skinny. Must be nice.

I keep a nice tight inner circle that I can trust to be supportive and non judgmental. The rest of them...well, they can piss off as far as I'm concerned

[BHoenig 31]

I have a co worker that says im going to die from the surgery. My whole family is against it. Haters

Wow, that is sincerely messed up. The best revenge is to live well. Have an excellent surgery, excellent recovery, and live well. That should shut them all up!

[Stephanie Salsera Perrott 85]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm an extremely open person and of course what comes along with that is sharing my life and decisions. I have to say I've been blessed to received either tons of support and people saying they'll be at the hospital to cheer me on, a few that are concerned it's "dangerous" and to "be careful" (my thought was tell my surgeon to be careful, I'm going to be asleep lol) and a couple not many maybe two that said you can do it on your own you don't need this which my response is when you've lost over 5,000lbs in your life and gain over 5,000lbs in your life then you can talk. This is not a lack of effort. But I say it with a smile and tell them agreed or not you're still coming to the hospital which they always say of course. Therefore my message to you all is:

"You know, you do need mentors, but in the end, you really just need to believe in yourself."

Diana Ross

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

The only way for me to keep my bosses off my back about the time I have to take off for appointments at the bariatric center was for me to tell them.

Edited January 29, 2015 by wannaBthinsoon

[LaLa Lady 98]

I have chosen to keep it private for the most part. Of course my husband and daughters know and are supportive but I am a private person and I feel like it's really nobody's business. My parents are elderly and I know they would worry so I decided not to include them. I've read a few books and blogs and the thing that stuck with me is that once you tell someone you cannot untell...(is that a word?) I will get my support from this site and support groups. The one exception would be if someone with weight issues asks I might share if I think it might be helpful to them. I hope I have a good story to tell! My journey is just beginning.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Funny story. I was with my cousins this weekend. One of my 2nd cousins is considering surgery at another hospital here. She used to work at the hospital where I had my surgery and asked who my surgeon was. When I told her Dr. Williams, she replied,"Oh he's FINE!" _{(he is very in that silver fox sort of way).} Anyway we had a nice chat and of course she had been told about how much pain there was and I assured her I had none. We're going to get together and compare note so I can help her with the pre-op diet. I also invited her to join the gym and take Water aerobics with me.

[kountrygoddezz 1]

I have been telling everyone that I'm having surgery. Other than my sister and a few others, folks are totally against it. They all think it's going to kill me, I mean they got me feeling like I'm going to die on the table. I'm having this surgery if it kills me because the food will if I don't. All these physical challenges and cormorbidities.

[kountrygoddezz 1]

I have been telling everyone that I'm having surgery. Other than my sister and a few others, folks are totally against it. They all think it's going to kill me, I mean they got me feeling like I'm going to die on the table. I'm having this surgery if it kills me because the food will if I don't. All these physical challenges and cormorbidities.

[tomi71 581]

I am finding that the more weight I lose the more I realize my weight was & is someone else's issue. Case in point: I had a convo with Mother a few days back about my progress ( we have this convo errrrrtime we talk, ugh) and she asked me about my goal weight. Like a dumba$$ I told her, to which she replied that that goal of 140 was still "too heavy", & that I s/b at 125/0. That's about what she weighs.

Notice I call her Mother. Like Norman Bates referred to his momma.

I wasn't mad tho. Not at first. Took me 2.5 days to get pissed. Husband, the psychologist, thankfully talked me off the edge. And he told me my weight is HER issue that she can't control. It's no longer an issue for me because I've gained the upper hand and took control of my health. And the key word is health NOT simply weight.

Neither Mother nor Father know I had WLS. Only 3 ppl outside of my medical team know. Oh & my dog. He knows too. But he can keep a secret, lol.

I just feel like if you decide to tell folks about your choice and then explain why you made the choice, you run a very high risk of receiving negative feedback PARTICULARLY because of this being a WL tool. Folks are so ignorant to how WLSs work and will immediately jump to the nonsensical conclusion that it's a lazy cop out way to lose weight. Kinda how I used to see WLS years ago before I wised up.

As far as I am concerned I owed no one an explanation. It's my body, my health, and I researched this route years before I pushed the go button so I knew what I was getting into.

And besides, I am 43 years-old woman. Fudge anyone who can't dig me. Don't need their approval.