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Sick and tired of explaining myself...



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First of all, congratulations! You have reached The Dreaded Week-3 Stall. You may even be getting to the end of it. It's perfectly normal, and just about all of us have suffered through it. You're not crazy, and your doctor didn't screw up. In fact, you might not lose any weight for two weeks or even longer. But don't worry – after that, the weight will start falling off if you stick to your program. And, the inches will continue to come off even while the scale isn't budging. Here's a good article that explains why it happens and why we all have to go through it. Hang in there. Pretty soon it'll be in the rear-view mirror and you'll be dropping weight again like crazy!

You did the right and courageous thing sticking with Protein for Thanksgiving, especially in the face of such criticism.

And here's what I'd say to unsupportive people...

Thanks for your concern. Listen, I've started hundreds of diets over the years, and look where they got me – miserable and unhealthy. So I've decided to go with a modern technique that's proven to be the most effective weight-loss tool there is. It'll still take a lot of hard work, but I'm optimistic. I'm really excited about it and I hope you'll be happy for me too. It's a really cool procedure! If you're interested, I can tell you about it...

I find that most people are hooked at this point and want to hear more. Information is what gets people on board. And then they stop judging.

But if they still insist on giving you a hard time, tell them, "Look, I've made a major decision to improve my health and turn my life around. If you can't be supportive, then I'm afraid I can't be around you right now."

Then go find supportive people to hang out with, go to a bariatric support group in your area, and spend time on forums like these.

Good luck and keep making the right choices. It's SO worth it!!!!!

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Honey you have to find some people that will support you and not bring you down....some people will never realize how difficult this struggle is......especially if they are people who dont take pride in the way they look or feel....if weight doesnt matter to them....or isnt an issue...they will never understand.......surround yourself with other people like us...who know and understand....you need positivity around you to keep on the right path!!!! Message me if you need help!

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I too haven't told anyone about my sleeve just because I didn't want the diet police monitoring my butt and my plate. What I've done instead is say that I had a hiatal hernia operation and have to eat very small amounts as a result. Once that gets old, I'll just say that I've continued with this way of eating as a life choice.

That being said, how you deal with your family really depends upon the dynamics at play. Since the cat is already out of the bag, are there any people you can talk to privately and get on your side? Make this a medical issue (it is!) that is being supervised by a doctor (it is!), rather than one of the many diets we've all been on. If you can, get some sympathetic relatives on your side and ask them to speak up for you. Give them whatever ammo they need. Have them protect your back and support you and recruit others.

You will, of course, be unable to do anything about the total jerks in your family. You know who they are: they're the ones who can't wait to see you fail on this new diet of yours. Ignore them. Before they become obnoxious, plan how you are going to deal with them: confronting them reasonably, having a meltdown, walking out, shunning them... it all depends upon you and your personality and relationships.

Families are difficult, especially during the holidays. Think of how many "comedies" Hollywood has cooked up about this. So, if it's just to stressful, come down with the "flu" and have someone take your kid to the parties while you catch up on Downton Abbey or something.

To be honest, I do absolutely everything I can to keep my stress level low. I want to keep my hair, I want to stay emotionally and physically healthy, and I'm delighted with my decision to exert final control over my body. And if that means blocking certain people, I say there's no question what side I'm coming down on.

And come here to vent. We've all been there...

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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