What did you say?!

[txdogmom 30]

I'm about 6 week post op and finally feeling better - not as tired. I'm actually noticing some weight loss! Came back to work after the Thanksgiving Holiday and had the following coversation:

Co-worker: Wow! I haven't seen you in a while. You look great! You have really lost weight!

Me: Oh, Thanks! (feeling good)

Co-worker: I can really see it in your face. And in your boobs.

Me: (looking down, a bit unhappy now) Um, yeah, I guess the girls are the first to go huh.

Co-Worker: No, I mean your boobs aren't resting on your stomach any more.

Me: uhhhh

Another co-worker: Yeah, I noticed that too.

Me: uhhhh

What do you say to that?! It's like punching you in the face and your so stunned you can't react.

What is wrong with people?!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

punching you in the face - your so stunned you can't react.

@@txdogmom

"they" initially complimented you on your weight loss

telling you they see the loss in your face and boobs

well thats ok

when she commented that "boobs" aren't hanging on your stomach

"kindof" a left handed compliment

i don't think it was meant as being mean/rude

it does sound weird to hear that comment (especially if this was not a GOOD/close friend

take the comment as it was intended

any/all compliments are good

even if it might sound "unkooth" (msp )

60 lbs down!!!

keep up the great job

kathy

congrats

Edited December 7, 2014 by proudgrammy

[LipstickLady 25,682]

What would I say!?

Ha! As I am self employed and have no worries of offending anyone or being fired, I'd say, "Surely you didn't mean that as bitchy as it sounded!" with a smile.

In a professional setting, I'd simply say, "What an odd thing to say." And then I'd walk away.

Edited December 7, 2014 by LipstickLady

[Elode 8,093]

Lol! I guess it's all in how you take it, I would take it as a complement IF I knew it wasn't said in a malicious way. Maybe it would be different in my case because my co-workers Are friends. If they aren't your friends then tell them to suck it! In the nicest way possible : )

[realrawuncutsleeve 30]

Take it all in good stride n keep it moving

[Loser4ever 6]

Really, do you value their opinion? Jealousy can be shown in many ways, including a snarky compliment. Just smile and says thanks. I feel great!

[amponder 396]

That sounds like the kind of compliment a kid who doesn't know any better would give. It did remind me I now have more of a lap as my stomach no longer sits on my legs, but I wouldn't want someone else to say so.

[Mrs.RRn 2,110]

It's one of those strange complements that would've been ok from your BFF but no one else.

I remember the moment I observed that I could no longer use my belly as an arm rest... I was excited and said it while at work (my coworkers loved it & all laughed), but if someone would've said that to me... I probably would have swung. Lol.

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

I once told a friend, "You look like you've lost a ton of weight."

Really..... I said a TON..... OMG, a TON?!?!?!

And, I meant it as a compliment.

[Janice1968 92]

I had a man at work look me up and down and ask if my Staples were inside or out? I honestly was confused at first, he then said (in front of everyone standing around the Water fountain) I heard you had your stomach stapled! OMG I was so shocked I didn't even know what to say. People are so rude!

Edited December 7, 2014 by Janice1968

[B-52 7,113]

Just goes to show you....there are conversations that go on amongst thin people about fat people....like it or not, it's true.

Now that you are loosing weight you have been privy to what non-fat people observe, think and say....

I have finished loosing weight for a few years now, and the entire perception of fat people is not pretty.....

Sorry, but it's true.

It's not that people are meaning to be mean, it's just that fat people are scrutinized....

[esskay77 785]

I agree with the above to take it as the compliment it was intended to be. However, this is where I usually insert an "ouch! That hurts!" comment with a little laugh. As much as I'm willing to laugh about it all, I also want them to know that it was inappropriate. I try to say it with a laugh to let them know that I'm not pissed but I"m not willing to just give them a complete pass on it.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

B-52 is so right: We fatties (past or present) really are dissed behind our backs. A lot!

A few months ago, my skinny friends went off on a woman who's 100 pounds overweight. And I just lost it! Completely lost it!

My friends were shocked and bewildered. They simply could not understand why I was so upset. They "never thought of me that way."

So, yes, B-52, what they say about "us" (whether we're still fat or not) is like listening to any self-selected privileged class congratulate themselves on not being a member of the lower classes. Eye-opening!

Edited December 7, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Just goes to show you....there are conversations that go on amongst thin people about fat people....like it or not, it's true.

Now that you are loosing weight you have been privy to what non-fat people observe, think and say....

I have finished loosing weight for a few years now, and the entire perception of fat people is not pretty.....

Sorry, but it's true.

It's not that people are meaning to be mean, it's just that fat people are scrutinized....

I agree. Fat people are scrutinized and talked about.

So are skinny people. And ugly people. And people who dress younger than their age. And people who wear too much makeup, talk too loud, drive a flashy car, have boob jobs, have bad breath, chew with their mouths open...

People talk about other people. They pick a "thing" and then pick it apart. If people are talking about you when you're fast, they are going to talk about you when you lose the weight. That's just how people are.

[ready2B 263]

I had lost a lot of weight in the past (though gained it all back quickly & more) so I had to deal with a lot of very inappropriate comments about my weight loss and it always unsettled me. I hated my weight loss (and regain) always being the topic of the day wherever I went! So, this time, in doing the emotional prep work for this surgery, I've already come up with a response that I think will defuse some of the unsolicited & unwanted comments. If anyone goes beyond a nice simple, "wow, you look great". and starts in asking things like "how much has you lost?", or commenting on how fat I was before, etc, I will just smile sweetly and say "I am bored talking about my body, let's talk about yours now!" I figure that will stop things pretty fast. :-)