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3 roadblocks to WLS - Pain Management, BED... Ideas Welcome



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It doesn't matter how many times we fall as long as we get back up and continue forward.

Fall 9 times stand up 10. Don't give up on yourself. Do accept your own excuses why failing is ok. If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten.

Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.

I think you can achieve anything you want to achieve. I will cheer for you.

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I am glad you are seeing someone that specializes in eating disorders. It will never make sense to me why people who have NO experience with eating disorders get to make decisions about surgery for people who have them. My guess is that even bariatric doctors don't understand them. A lot of us on here have patterns of disordered eating that obviously have not served us....My other question is do you 'believe' your diagnoses are accurate/up-to-date? Sometime whats in the chart is just what's in the chart. Idk just some thoughts....

I too worry about maintaining a 'lifestyle' for myself. I have a long history of ADD which typically acts out as being able to be totally rigid for a long while and then falling off and unable to follow a program....my hope is that with the surgery hormones will be regulated and adjusted which will make continuing easier....I read somewhere that brain function is improved with WLS in an article on this site....

Good luck to you, keep us posted....

I see an Eating disorder doctor the 7th as a kind of last ditch effort by the 1st clinic to treat me it feels, but since she does specialize in ED/BED I am hopeful despite their track record.

And - Yes unfortunately - I do know all my 5 disorders are up to date, if I stop medication/therapy they do sometimes flare up, or I have symptoms of a few of them... I wish there were a mistake somewhere but I know there is not. I've read that too somewhere at sometime lol, seriously though - I'm hoping it's valid and that hormones can help regulate my disorder behavior of eating. I know psychological medications work differently after surgery as well, and I'm as prepared as possible for that..

On a side note: I haven't binged that much or that heavily in the past month or two, that give me hope that this unhealthy compulsive behavioral pattern is starting to subside. I've had the help of my cna's and my fiance to a point (he has overeating problems as well), and it's been helping.

I see my second opinion on the 2nd of January and as I said above the ED/BED doctor in Albany on the 7th of January. Hoping things are changing for the better, Thank You

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I think I read somewhere that some surgeons avoid higher-risk patients like you b/c they want to keep their statistics good, and if they think you may have difficulty sticking to it, it makes them look bad. I have no idea whether that's true in your case but it does seem like there must be some reason since it's pretty clear that surgery is your best chance at improving everything.

If you get a similar reaction from other surgeons, ask them what you can do to make them see things differently. Maybe if you do a strict diet plan like a liquid diet for a certain amount of time and lose a certain amount, they will see you are committed to it.

Please don't give up hope. You are doing the right thing in trying to take charge of your health and I hope things go better at the next clinic for you.

With the albany clinic keeping their statistics up wouldn't surprise me. Not at all the way they treat their high risk patients. I was literally almost in tears when I left there and I never cry in public. I'm changing primary care doctors as well to a primary care that specializes in obesity related illnesses and solutions. He does do things like liquid diets and medication to solve obesity.

I'm not sure it's the best way (medication for weight loss) with my other disorders, medications, etc. but it's an idea. I'd be willing to try the liquid diets again... It's not that I'm not committed to it, it's that with my disorders I have no discipline which doesn't help when you have a pattern of disordered eating that has been your go to coping skill (unhealthy however as it is) for many many years. I've tried so hard so many times (not an exaggeration) and the BED due to trauma history of life long abuse / psychological mood conditions I feel I can't regulate in other ways - starts up again. And I just feel sometimes I'm not strong enough to battle 5 psychological conditions at once with the chronic pain added on from my back and legs... just being honest (along with trauma history) - Thank you.

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It doesn't matter how many times we fall as long as we get back up and continue forward.

Fall 9 times stand up 10. Don't give up on yourself. Do accept your own excuses why failing is ok. If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten.

Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.

I think you can achieve anything you want to achieve. I will cheer for you.

I don't give myself excuses, I feel I'm stuck in a pattern of disorder eating. Even the counselors who I talk to about it, say the behaviors will not change overnight - I have to ween myself off of the binge behaviors gradually. Not everyone who is overweight or obese has an eating disorder - not by a long shot. But many who are severely obese do have patterns of disordered eating at least, if not full blown BED. Unfortunately, according to several psychologists I do have an eating disorder.

Off topic:

I dislike very much how society looks at being overweight/obese today as a character flaw or lack of some kind of self control - as I believe it's far more complex than that in many cases. It's like saying the r word for the developmentally disabled, it kind of shows the person who is saying that - their own ignorance to everyone... I know this post was made to motivate and I thank you for that,I know it was well intentioned. Thanks.

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It doesn't matter how many times we fall as long as we get back up and continue forward.

Fall 9 times stand up 10. Don't give up on yourself. Do NOT accept your own excuses why failing is ok. If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten.

Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.

I think you can achieve anything you want to achieve. I will cheer for you.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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