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I am now 3 weeks post op, and I have had 3 family gatherings already. My un-laws don't know about the surgery and I really worried how I'd keep the secret. Turns out,I never had to say a word.

No one noticed or cared about what or how much I was eating.

I thought everyone would notice how little / how differently I was eating, and no one batted an eye.

For the most part, I think you'll find that most people aren't paying attention to you and what you eat. So far, keeping the secret has been surprisingly easy. Don't feel pressured to tell before you need to!

Good luck, secret keepers!

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Oops, in-laws. Not un-laws!

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Oops, in-laws. Not un-laws!

I thought "un-laws" was intentional and a new term for in-laws you don't get along with. Lol.

I've been pretty open about surgery, but for sure I've never had someone who didn't know comment about my portion sizes.

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I think they only notice when you pile your plate! Good to know! I thought UN-Laws was on purpose...too funny!

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Y'all are right! I'm not telling anyone except my mom. No one notices anything until you tell them you're trying to lose weight and that's when they start monitoring your consumption and providing unsolicited advice and opinions...so mums the word!

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Y'all are right! I'm not telling anyone except my mom. No one notices anything until you tell them you're trying to lose weight and that's when they start monitoring your consumption and providing unsolicited advice and opinions...so mums the word!

EXACTLY!

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I'm a secret keeper and I noticed I get more comments if I put very little on my plate vs if I put a normal amount and just stop eating. I'm planning to put more food on my plate for Thanksgiving than I can eat, and shifting around and playing with my food as others eat.

we had wraps at work and not one person questioned me when I dumped the wrap and tossed the tortilla. But then the next time we had a lunch provided and it was (nasty) lasagna, I put about 1/4 cup into a styrofoam cup (instead of a plate) I got questioned. I just said I wasn't feeling well, which was the absolute truth that day.

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I think about 10 people in my life know I'm doing this. 2 were trying to talk me out of it at first but it was because they don't know what it's like to be overweight for so long and they knew nothing about what the surgery really is. It's not like lipo! Once I put it like that they were on board. Outside of them I don't really care what anybody else thinks ( I really don't care a whole lot about what thy think either lol).

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I only told a few family members afterwards and they were like, "ok". Something important to you a lot of people could care less about. So,I am not even going to bring it up in any of my conversations. I made the right decision when I told the people important to me. They are very supportive.

Edited by motherof5

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I'm a secret keeper and I noticed I get more comments if I put very little on my plate vs if I put a normal amount and just stop eating. I'm planning to put more food on my plate for Thanksgiving than I can eat, and shifting around and playing with my food as others eat.

we had wraps at work and not one person questioned me when I dumped the wrap and tossed the tortilla. But then the next time we had a lunch provided and it was (nasty) lasagna, I put about 1/4 cup into a styrofoam cup (instead of a plate) I got questioned. I just said I wasn't feeling well, which was the absolute truth that day.

I'm a "secret keeper" too! Love it!

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Oops, in-laws. Not un-laws!

I was like un-laws...thats a great term for my ex-husbands parents lol. I think Ill use it anyway lol

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I don't care. I'm a full blown open person and could care less what other people think. My family and my Dr's support this so I honestly don't care if they want to talk. I am 5' 6.5" HW 255. Most people start out with "you aren't big enough for that. You could loose that little amt by exercising". I come back at them with you know what if I could have it would have been gone by now. I have psoriatic arthritis and ankylosing spondylitis so if I do too much I end up in the bed in pain and I can barely walk bc my knees CRUNCH so bad. When my rheumatologist mentioned possible back surgery or knee surgery, I started looking for some other option, somehow. My Dr mentioned this and things have just fallen in to place. If someone keeps on with me I very nicely put them in their place and tell them my FAMILY, my DOCTORS, my closest FRIEND support this and I have to do this for MY health. I'm not asking them to do it or anything, just if they want to help they can pray while I am going to be goings through the 2 wk pre op and during surgery and then the 1st few months after. It always shuts them up. Now, since I start a full CLEAR liquid diet for the next 14 days exactly prior to surgery, can anyone give me suggestions on what to eat? This is the only thing I am stressed about.

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When there's divorce involved my sister calls them "out-laws."

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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