I threw in the towel, and gave up!

[James Marusek 5,244]

I had a RNY gastric bypass 18 months ago. I lost a total of 110 pounds pre-op and post-op. I have maintained my weight loss for a year. One of the surprises about the surgery was that I completely lost my hunger. Not everyone experiences this, but I did. It wasn't hard to lose weight when hunger is not constantly gnawing at your bones.

There were roadblocks along the way. Most were generated by my insurance company. But I persevered. A year after I decided I wanted the surgery, I was approved for it. Being 18 months post-op, I can say that hunger no longer rules my day.

[SimplySue 131]

@@TatorTot - you're so close, don't give up. If 3 more months is all it takes, do it for you- you are worth this. The CBT, Depression, and Minfulness classes will be so helpful for your success. Depression improves with weight loss surgery. Knowing how to be mindful is so helpful post op when you need to listen to your body. Yes, it's 3 more months, but given your journey to get here, it's only 3 months- do it for you, not them!

[Bandista 7,466]

Way to go reaching out and staying on top of this process, which is absurd. Don't give up! You deserve all good things. You deserve good physical and mental health. I believe the two of those are directly related. I am very happy to have lost weight but like others it is the being out of food jail that has been such an amazing thing. Not having that appetite monster on my back and the constant chatter....feed me, feed me. It's such a release, and a relief. I hope you can persevere and WIN this. Sending best wishes your way!

[TatorTot 44]

Wow, I am amazed at how many people chimed in with tons of support. This website and its people are the BOMB!

I want to thank everyone for their comments!!

I think I am going to move forward and come up with other options, and if they fail I can always go back to the VA with my tail between my legs so to speak. I can't trust them, with 1yr, and 3mos full of effort, only to hear I need to do this another 3mos is very unreasonable and who knows in the end if that is even going to be enough. I will continue to see my Dietician because she is great but I will also tell her that the VA is going to be my last resort. She will still do all she can to help. My initial desire to go this route is because they will pay for the surgery itself and I pay copays on the pre-op and post-op.

There are other things I am going to investigate meanwhile.

I gained every bit of the weight back, even after eating right so what does that tell ya. Somehow I have to get my head out of my butt and get back on my eating plan. I have actually hit the highest weight ever. SIGH!

Edited November 6, 2014 by TatorTot

[MisforMimi 760]

I love this site SO much, too.

I will say, sometimes people are haters, dude. I have no idea why that nurse would go there, but in the end that's not the concern. The goal is to have the surgery (and have someone else foot the bill if possible) and if they are going to pay for the mindfulness classes, CBT and whatever that is only going to benefit you because you (we) need it and like it or not you proved it by gaining the weight back over emotions (anger, frustration, sadness, resentment????).

This going to be an unlearning process for all of us- unlearning the ways and habits that don't work and serve us that we have heavily relied on for so many of our excess pounds.

By staying in this place of resentment (taking rat poison (ie excess food) waiting for your medical team to die) is not going to get you your surgery and this or an incident similar is going to happen again and again to you (us/me) until we get it right.

A lot of people look at emotional or compulsive eating like a disease similar to drug addiction but I think its like cancer. Once you have the disease you have to stay on top of it, follow a healthy lifestyle and hope its stays in remission. We always have to mindful of it. We just came to the planet this way.

So, here's the rephrase: @@TatorTot, we believe you can be successful at this and we want to give you some additional tools to help you along the way. We want to offer you some cognitive behavioral therapy to help change your way of thinking and some happy, hippy dippy zen mindfulness classes. We think doing this extra bit of Eastern practice will give a balance of tools in your toolbox to keep your cancer in remission. And keep in mind, tatortot this Eastern stuff is really cutting edge for the Veteran's Administration but we believe in expanding our mission and resources to help folks just like you. We also what the highest return on our investment for all parties involved including you.

OK: what's your response now????

Mine would be to go get some Protein drinks and start following a pre-op diet to loose the regained weight and get to work on the classes

Edited November 7, 2014 by MisforMimi

[Mel13 9]

They said you need to take classes and prove you're committed so you quit? Stick to it! You have already proven to yourself you can lose weight, why not prove it to them so you can get healthy???

[kyrickchick64 468]

I have been jumping thru hoops with Cigna too. It sucks but it's a game you have to play to get what you want. It was the psych eval that tripped me up too. I will tell them what they want to hear to get what I want. I'll go to their dr visits and do what I have to to get this surgery. I know, what is best for me, I hate that they think someone who had seen me on a bad day or week(my brother died and my psch appt was 3 days after his service and I was emotional big time. I'm almost there and was hoping to get it done before the end of the year but unless I have a miracle it's not looking like it'll happen till January. But copays be damned it's gonna happen. Get back on the wagon and give them what they want and do it for yourself

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

Tater tot:

I'm so sorry to read about your struggles. I got really angry reading your post too. *hugs.

I don't know a lot about bi-polar disorder so am trepadacious about giving my opinion. Still, I'll put it out there for consideration...

From what I read, it's not the dietician nor the nurse but the PSYCH EVAL that's tripping you up- You said you'd lost the weight they asked you too. Did you ask what else they want from you?

Sounds like you're stuck in a system that wants to keep you Unhealthy & under their thumb.

Sun-SU: The Art of War says, "Know your enemy." In this case, the Psych.

Know what they're looking for in answers that'll approve you for the WLS. You've already heard the questions they ask. Just Give them the answers they're looking for...nothing else.

Since someone thankfully on this thread who also has bi-polar has had WLS, that, in itself is not the disqualifier.

It could be very possible that the psych you went to has a hard-edge anti-WLS opinion and refuses a lot of them.

Get back on your healthy eating program- wait about 4-6 months & SHOW the dietician & psych & doc (again) you're able to lose weight. TELL them you're not so much of an emotional eater, that you've pretty much got it under control (even if you haven't quite yet).

Go to another Psych who has a lot of experience with obese patients and WLS effects on the psyche'. I'm pretty sure there are psych studies that show Bi-Polar patients show datas on improvements with WLS. Our chemical make-ups change with WLS so your emotional eating will take care of itself for the most part anyway.

Better yet, seek out the psych bi-polar research studies that show improvements, print them out and bring them to your psych sessions & the conference call. SHOW them to the psych. They won't be able to deny it if you shove it in their face!

Keep ALL your upcoming psych sessions upbeat & forward thinking. Excited about your upcoming WLS (as though you're already approved)

Don't get into your childhood or other traumas during your WLS psych sessions- it's JUST for the WLS- not to heal all the mental traumas.

Fake it till you make it girl!