Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Anyones spouse having a hard time?



Recommended Posts

My wife is pretty frustrated that for the last 4 weeks I have not wanted to participate in going out. I mean like going to a sit down diner or to the bar. She feels like she's on this liquid diet.

I'm annoyed because I'm not telling her she can't go do whatever but I do not want to go and sit in a diner or bar and watch my spouse or any others eat when I'm still on liquids.

Yeah I'm a bummer of a guy right now and it sucks dealing with a crabby wife because she's not getting her party on. Give me time, I will be back in fun guy mode in no time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How long have you been on liquids?

Can you go and just get a Soup ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Still on 100% liquids till 11-4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is a long time. Maybe go to a diner and just enjoy some Soup. Sip slowly and enjoy.

She can have whatever she likes.

She just likes your company

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hear ya, kbuska. My hubs tried everything he could think of to talk me out of my decision to have the WLS. But, when my mind is made up, it's made up. He knows I am trying to lose a little but before my 5th supervised Dr appt,(just to prove I'm trying)......(one of the hoops). He comes home from work every day mad I didn't make dinner. Um....I haven't made dinner since the last son moved out 8 years ago. Why should I start making dinner now? You are a grown man, you can feed yourself. Oh, and it's an argument every weekend.....he wants to go to the "free" casino BUFFET!! REALLY?! I don't want to go to a buffet! EVER AGAIN. I don't like them, anyway. The food is aweful, and no telling who all has sneezed in it or touched it, or how long it sat out. No thank you. Can't wait to see what arguments we have after I have the surgery. Maybe by then he'll realize I meant it. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're going to need support after the surgery; everything will (should) be different especially your capacity to absorb alcohol. There are the post-op phases too, one of which is. ..liquids.

I had to have a heart felt talk with the person I live with who wants the benefits of the surgery for me, but doesn't really want to do anything in a contributory manner. I really had to spill my guts about all the reasons I had decided to have the surgery. The feedback was " Good for you, but I'm not doing it!" was annoyed at first but stayed focused and determined and made small changes as far as how the rest of the house will be eating. As the primary grocery shopper, I slowly stopped bringing in crap into the house, and stopped cooking anything that would go against my new tummy and lifestyle.

Even with the support of spouses and loved ones,the bulk of the effort and work has to come from us. I have to be okay with this multi-phasic diet, the incisions, the risks, etc; no one else really has to be on board but me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry but I think your wife is being inconsiderate and should be supporting you more and your decision. Hang in there!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am kinda shocked that your wife is not excited for you i am only in the beginning of my journey (hopefully not long no 6mos weights) but my husband is my biggest fan .... Saying whatever we need to do reasuring me that i am doing the right thing ... Granted it will take strength to leave old habbits but if she wants to go to dinner or out why not go get Soup .. Dont drink u know what u need to do be strong we have to reprogram are brain too when doing this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Where does it say she was being unsupportive? She's frustrated by not being able to enjoy her social life because of the liquid requirements. I get it. That doesn't mean she's unsupportive.

He's right it's a temporary family adjustment and she's having a bit of a hard time as he is.

Don't be all Debbie downer on her

Life was about going out and drinking and socializing over food. So was mine.

I went out to dinner week 2 post op and been out every weekend since.

I didn't stop pre op either. It's just all about the choices!

I don't drink

I ate Soups

I ordered mashed potatoes at certain phases

I ordered soft foods when needed

And I even -- eegads --- went to a pizzeria several times ! I always order a side of meatballs - no pizza for me

It helped that all our friends knew what I'd done so it made it really easy from that perspective.

Choices folks! They're out there. Wrap your head around the choices.

You don't have to give up being social. You make different choices.

Now if wifey and friends push you into a beer or other bad choices. Go home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you to everyone for there responses. She has been supportive. Like Jersrose43 mentioned, she is just frustrated. I like the suggestions of Soups and in a couple weeks, once I can actually have Soup without straining it, our choices will be better. Regarding drinking, I was the DD before and will be now too. Even one drink always gave me the biggest headache.

Last night she came home from work and we went and saw the equalizer. Kiss ass movie BTW. Great night up to the point where i had to tell her no to sex (sorry, tmi) :( yesterday was not a good day regarding Water consumption and Protein intake and I felt like shit for it.

V/r,

Ken

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

During the first couple weeks post op we went out to eat a few times and I ordered Soup and asked for only the broth portion. I found that all of the restaurants were more than happy to bring it to me that way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I liked ordering matzoh ball Soup. Many places use chicken broth and the matzoh can be placed on a to go container right away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i certainly do not want to piss you off...but I would never do that to my hubby....you are going through major things right now and she should be supportive, and you need her right now to be there for you.....JMHO un...best of luck...maybe she read this thread

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went out with my sister and had chicken tortilla Soup at red robin. We also went out to Mexican and I ate some chicken out of her taco. I really am a super cheap date now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband cooks every night and eats out at lunch every day. He has asked me to go out and I just say no. So far he is not pressuring me but I would have a real problem with it if he did. I'm ok with it all as it stands. I have no desire anymore to eat what he eats. I hope he will also make an effort but it's all up to him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×