How do you handle "well meaning" friends?

[Bino 44]

Ugh. Mentioned to a friend last night that I'm trying to get the sleeve. Boy did I get blasted. He just didn't understand. He feels that since I'm not 400 lbs (and that's his exact words) that I was going to too much of an extreme. He says I look fine.

How do you respond to this? Or do you just ignore it?

[AvaFern 3,516]

Just ignore it. I only told my three best friends about my decision and they have all been very supportive. I don't believe that it is anyone else's business and I am the only person who has the right to make my own health decisions. Do what is best for you and ignore anyone who has an opinion opposite of that.

[geelynn 72]

I have struggled with who to tell and who not to tell (I was sleeved on 8/13). I decided to tell the co-workers immediately around my work area . . . just in case something happened, or I needed their support in some way. They've all (4) been very supportive. I told 2 trusted friends who have been supportive. I didn't tell anyone else figuring it was my business. Now that I've lost 49 lbs, it is starting to "show" and it is interesting how people are responding. I wear a FitBit, so I decided to just tell people that I was eating healthy and exercising. One person in the grocery store just refused to believe me and said "no, really . . . tell me the truth, what are you REALLY doing". Between that comment and the fact that I could do without the judgment of people watching my weight loss closely and critiquing what I eat, I've decided to keep the news to myself.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I agree. Ignore it .

You cannot convince people to "feel" differently about WLS.

And most people are ignorant (uneducated), so they only "feel" about the subject, they don't "think."

You know more about WLS than you could ever teach any of your friends. They're not that interested in learning about it. Seriously.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

It's not even about how you look. This is about your health and quality of life. You will find that bariatric surgery will draw a line in the sand over who are your real friends and who are just nosy judgemental acquaintances.

[Bino 44]

Thanks. I think I agree with keeping it to myself. I did let my boss know, since I will need to take off work, but she's very supportive as she had the gastric bypass 11 years ago and is doing great.

[Jbramwell 6]

I had my sleeve 9/30. I was very careful when I chose the people I told. Just keep it to yourself and tell only those that really need to know. I called one friend who I knew would be a problem right before I went to the hospital. She was very rude and has not contacted me since I have been home from the hospital. Oh well, win some, lose some. I think I am her fat friend and that is the way she wants to keep it.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I'm surprised. Usually they say that your taking the easy way out or move away from the table or just put the fork down. this friend is concerned in a backwards kinda way.

You may want to remind him that this is a battle you have been fighting for a long time and that you are ready to take a personal stand and make a life long change. And most of all you want his support or you would not have shared something so personal with him.

And then if that works then you are on your way if not a sucker punch to the belly should solve it all!

[Alumace 53]

I'm going for a rny bypass but whoever I have told said go for it. Maybe a lot of Australian know more about these operation not sure. The only person who I'm not sure on is my uncle but he's a health freak. That said 6kgs over his average is overweight. All he really has to do is stop drinking beer to be on a diet so I'm not rly bothered.

[Who Dat 70461 331]

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Ok I didn't tell anyone until AFTER. I did it by email. I basically told them I would love their support but didn't need any negative remarks.

So....my skinny peeps were immediately supportive! My fat peeps have either remained silent (as per my request) or came around to saying they are so happy for me after I had success without dying (ya know all the fears). Holy moly.. I lost over 160# and now weigh I the 140-145 ballpark.

Some of my fat peeps never said a word and maybe don't share my joy.. but most that care about me remain thrilled with my success!

[Susan11803 219]

My husband had a little problem, only because has like fat women. But now he see how much healthier i'm now. One of my overweight friend was just jealous because her insurance won't cover it but is fine now. Everyone else has been very supportive. Only told my close family and friends before surgery. After four months post-op i posted it on Facebook to the rest of my family and friends. i was down 94lb at that time.