Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

an observation



Recommended Posts

I went on a blind date Wednesday night and saw that the gentleman was overweight. It didn't matter to me at all because he was very nice and we got along well, but it turns out that we did discuss the fact that he's lost more than 80 lbs. and wants to lose another 40. He needed to lose weight because of a knee replacement and I went ahead and told him about my hip replacement surgery and that I too had to lose weight so I would have an optimal outcome.

He looked at me like I had two heads. I assured him that I struggled with my weight and even laughingly said that if we got along well enough, I'd think about showing him some less flattering pictures of me in the future.

Amazing right? Here's this man who presumes because I'm a small person, that I don't struggle with weight. It just goes to show that you can never EVER presume anything by what you see on the outside. This is what makes an eating disorder so insidious. If you are involved in any other type of negative behavior, no one need know. But a food addiction?? We can't hide it... and it's there for all to see and judge.

I find that I feel like I'm hiding the real me behind this small body. I always thought I was hiding the real me behind my big body but now I see that I'm just hiding period. I think I need to discuss this with my therapist so I make sure not to sabotage my success. This process really is two steps forward, one step back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally get this. People who are just getting to know me now are amazed when they hear me talk about my weight loss, or they see pictures of me from "before." They mean well in what they say, but it makes me cringe. I no longer answer in specifics when I am randomly asked how much I have lost. I just say "a LOT." The number I am so proud of when I think about what I have accomplished sounds horrific when I tell it to someone who is curious...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, it seems like you two have a lot in common even before you get to know him any better!!!!!!! And even though you are 100% correct on the steps forward and backward......... the trend is FORWARD PROGRESS....... Enjoy the FALL in NEW YORK! Tammie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When are you coming back this way Tammi? All my gals want to go to NO but no one is taking charge...and Christmas will be here before you know it. I don't think it's gonna happen... :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally get this. People who are just getting to know me now are amazed when they hear me talk about my weight loss, or they see pictures of me from "before." They mean well in what they say, but it makes me cringe. I no longer answer in specifics when I am randomly asked how much I have lost. I just say "a LOT." The number I am so proud of when I think about what I have accomplished sounds horrific when I tell it to someone who is curious...

That before picture you posted yesterday broke my heart. You looked so sad and defeated and I just wanted to cry. I have a smile on my face in my before pics so you can't see the terribly unhappy person I was. But just like you, I stayed on life's sideline and did not participate in anything. Not any more thank goodness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So some of you ladies know me, from my posts and some have met me in person. I have always been out there and larger then life in more ways then one!

I have a big mouth, a sharp wit a comedic sense of timing lots of opinions, observations, and constructive criticism and I am not afraid to use and share them all. :)

I don't think I have ever been good at hiding because of this...I have never been able to just "blend in" with the crowd. Strangers come up and talk to me even when I am sending out the **ck off vibe. Since WLS I really try not to bite the heads off of people too often they tend to get stuck.

(OK only kidding I'm not a cannibal but just getting me in that kind of mood really can cinch that band which only makes my mood worse)

Talk about judging a book by it's cover! Most people encounter my awesome hubby and they think Uh oh don't piss that guy off he might pound you into the ground!

Big or small he's still got the arms and shoulders of Popeye and his voice is deep and he has a bit of a growl. Little do they know that he's the most gentle person and they really should be asking him for directions and help because this little blond green eyed chick just might have to make you cry! :)

There are days when I wish I could hide, and I want to hide and honestly sometimes I do. I'll lock myself up in my bedroom and just turn off the world for a little bit. I love doing all the things I do, and I love being with people and I don't care much about how I look or they look, I'm not the house inspector I don't care about your job or car or any of that BS. I just enjoy life, I have seen and been a part of too much tragedy in life I learned at a young age that you have to just suck it up for all it's worth every second and every chance you get.

I have my days don't get me wrong, but when I need to disconnect I do. Sometimes it's more difficult then others, and when I don't the universe comes along and does it for me. You know like getting rear ended and getting sick and being forced to just take it easy even if I want to do a million things :)

You ladies all are looking amazing and I hope you are feeling as amazing about yourselves. Because it's not just about your look it's about who you are! With all your good advice and stuff that you share here you are nothing short of that so get out there and enjoy!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. That is very insightful, it really sounds like you are doing your part with your therapist! Good for you, I know with your motivated attitude- you are going to succeed! :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Headed NORTH again in November......but, to see the oldest daughter in BALTIMORE. We might make a day trip to NYC. I'll let you know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Headed NORTH again in November......but, to see the oldest daughter in BALTIMORE. We might make a day trip to NYC. I'll let you know.

Oh I hope so. Everything well?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×