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Distorted Self Image



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I find that the closer I get to my surgery date, the less attractive I find myself. What's going on here I always prided myself as a BBW(Big Beautiful Woman), but now I see a "fat" slob. I'm seeing flaws that I have never seen before. I'm wondering if this is how the world have been seeing me for years. I dress nicely I get my hair and nails done; however now I'm just not feeling sexy or beautiful. I keep fantasizing about who I might be or what I will look like after surgery. Can anyone else identify with this? I know it sounds crazy trust me I'm a counselor but I still can't help but to critically observe myself. I know surgery is not the answer but I would like to wear the clothes in my closet and they fit. Is that too much to ask for? Just getting this off my chest!

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Ranece, I totally get where you are coming from. I am waiting on my surgery date. I've had days of feeling the same way. I think that it is me finally realizing where I am and being fed up with not doing anything about it. I had to come to terms with the fact that I've been diagnosed as "morbidly obese" - For years I've ignored it. Coming to terms with it has been and is very hard. But you know what I've decided that while I'm waiting I am going to keep myself together. I'm going to dress nice and do my very best to love myself enough to take care of myself now while waiting. I challenge you to do the same. While we are waiting let's Love, Laugh and Live! No matter what we are worth it! Don't be so hard on yourself. You've taking steps to change your atmosphere. Do it positively! Sincerely ~ Tracy ;)

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I'm am in the process of getting all of my clearances done. I had my labs, upper GI series,abdominal ultra sound & an EGD. I'll have my psych eval next.

I will see my surgeon on 9/18, at the time all of my info should be available to submit to my insurance company for approval. I'm hoping to have the RNY before the holidays. Yes I do have support. Outside of my family I have a support group that meets every second Tuesday of each month, along with a few friends who had the procedure. This website is pretty awesome also. Feel free to reach out to me anytime.

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I think prior to going thru the process I had an image of a smaller person in my mind. Then I would catch sight of myself & be like wow that's not what I always see. I too do my hair & get it done. I slack on my nails but I do file & clear coat them, & I do try to dress nice so I hear you. I'm also wondering what the new me will look like. I bet that we'll all be just as fabulous only healthier!

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I think prior to going thru the process I had an image of a smaller person in my mind. Then I would catch sight of myself & be like wow that's not what I always see. I too do my hair & get it done. I slack on my nails but I do file & clear coat them, & I do try to dress nice so I hear you. I'm also wondering what the new me will look like. I bet that we'll all be just as fabulous only healthier!

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I think prior to going thru the process I had an image of a smaller person in my mind. Then I would catch sight of myself & be like wow that's not what I always see. I too do my hair & get it done. I slack on my nails but I do file & clear coat them, & I do try to dress nice so I hear you. I'm also wondering what the new me will look like. I bet that we'll all be just as fabulous only healthier!

Hi I would just like to say pls don't be discouraged from trying to get healthy I'm just starting my journey with this process and u are fabulous being overweight doesn't make u a fat slob or any of those stereotypes we all want to feel confident and attractive so keep doing your nails and hair and dressing nice as u always have and keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward you will be even more fabulous good luck!

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Oh good no! I don't think that at all I wanted you to realize you aren't alone. I was/am because obviously I haven't dropped a lot of weight yet a little shocked to see what I look like. I am pretty active & I sometimes just don't expect to see a "fat" person looking back that's all. Even if when I am naked I can see all the physical changes to my body from old surgeries & having a baby & just the state my stomach is currently in makes me a little sad. Hence why I went with life altering surgery to get back to where I might not be surprised when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at least not in a bad way :)

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"You" are not your weight. There are SO many factors in someone gaining and holding onto extra weight. Please don't beat yourself up over it. Kudos to you for recognizing that you need a tool to help you get healthy, stay healthy and taking the steps to do so!

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I was not into my physical appearance before surgery. Most times I would hardly look at myself in the mirror. It was only when I saw myself in a photograph that I was shocked by my excess weight. After my weight loss, I was surprised by how I could buy good looking clothes and radically change my appearance. It was a good turn on. I dropped from a size 3XL down to a size small in shirts and from a size 46 down to a 33 in pants size. I am an excellent bargain shopper and found it to be very enjoyable to hunt down the latest styles at bargain prices. I replaced my entire wardrobe. Good luck on your surgery and getting back to marvelous.

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Thank you everyone for the support I too had that photograph moment when I really saw myself as others do and was in total shock I hope to succeed on this path I know I have such a long road ahead

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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