A week ago I filed for divorce and my college age girls and I moved out. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I won't lie. I got my LapBand this year because I knew that until I got out of my food fog and gained control of my life, I was doomed to remain paralyzed in this increasingly unhealthy relationship. I thank God every day for the health benefits, including the mental health benefits, of WLS. For me, the personal power that came with taking charge of my body was the final tool in the toolbox I needed in order to leave. When I was morbidly obese and overeating every single day as an emotional escape, I didn't have the ability to get myself and my girls out. When I stopped self medicating with food, I took my personal power back. For me, this was never just about weight loss or looking good or even just about getting healthy. It was about finding my courage. I'd like to hear from others who have ended a marriage or long term relationship after reclaiming their personal power and mental and physical health. As scary as this is, the three of us can now breathe and we will come out of this stronger.

Congratulations for having the courage and mental stamina to leave. You sound like a good role model for your daughters.

Edited July 21, 201412 yr by BeagleLover

Congratulations on taking control of your life I hope the road is smooth for you and your daughters.

Sending best wishes your way. While I haven't gone through anything like this, I too am amazed by the clarity and personal power I feel now. The fierceness -- and the realization that it is up to me. Showing up for our lives is a beautiful thing. Congratulations on the courage that it took to do this, for you and for your daughters. You have so much to be proud of......

I did mine in reverse order... I left my ex 6 years ago after getting treated for depression and bipolar -- I finally got healthy (emotionally) and my ex didn't like the new me. I was enjoying life more and he was happy to sit on his butt and do nothing except contribute dirty laundry and dirty dishes to the family.

This year, I realized I needed to get my health and weight under control. Now, six weeks after bypass, I'm feeling great, enjoying getting the body healthy, loving spending time with friends (shopping in regular size clothes stores...)

One of these days I'll get it all together at the same time!

What you did takes guts and courage -- you should be very proud. Congrats !!

Congratulations on regaining control in your life and leaving an obviously unhealthy relationship! I too left an unhealthy relationship about 10 years ago. I hadn't yet had WLS, but I still understand your point of view. It's all about regaining control over some part of your life and doing what's best for you and your daughters. You'll still go through a "grieving" process, because you're leaving behind someone who's been part of your life, even if it's been bad. I took my daughters and moved out and it was the best thing I could have done. I've never regretted that decision. Best of luck to you and your daughters.

For me, aborting the marriage came before college. Next, I graduated with two degrees, got accepted into a graduate program, and then crammed in RNY just in time to recover before starting school again. As I get closer to forty, I thank God every day for guiding me into a place of strength and progress through these empowering moments.

One important lesson I learned - do not share, isolate, and you will find strength from within, away from the toxic judgmental gossipers. Surround yourself by inner peace.

It's hard. I left a very unhealthy relationship as well - he is a good man but has alot of emotional issues and we just made each other worse it seems. We split a long time ago, but I am still adjusting to life../

Anyway, much much harder than I could have imagined. I am hanging in there. Good luck to you.

You're my new hero. That kind of bravery and pursuit of what you REALLY want in life are very hard to come by these days. BRAVO! You have a new fan!

Thank you for the kind words.

Way to go, you!

Your post warmed my heart. That takes guts.

May the path for you and your daughters be full of light, love and laughter from this point on.

You deserve it. x

he was happy to sit on his butt and do nothing except contribute dirty laundry and dirty dishes to the family.

THIS, really resonated with me... On so many levels...

I hear ya, Ginger x

I too ate away my unhappiness in a loveless marriage for many years. Getting sleeved helped me reclaim my sense of self. I too have filed for divorce and look forward to a new beginning.

I'm super proud of you. Good luck to you!