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Lite'N'Sweet

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by Lite'N'Sweet

  1. I was in a stall. It was making me a little crazy too. Worse than a stall - it seems that I had put back on 5 lbs. But i never admitted to it, because adding it back on to my trackers and tickers made it feel like failure. And I know I was doing everything the way I should. Eating smaller portions, less calories, slower and more deliberate choices of food. Working out as much as i can increasing the amount of calories I would burn. But... there the scale stayed stuck. I could have done a number of things for those 3 weeks. Blamed the lapband for not working. Blamed my body composition for sabotaging me. Cursed the Gods for making me have to be fat. But I remembered something I read from a friend of mine on Facebook who is a Yoga Instructor and really has embraced the lifestyle that goes with studying and practicing yoga. "Anything will work if you stick to it long enough." Pointing out the issue that once we don't see something working in a day or a week or a month we abandon it and try something else... always looking for the quick fix and trying to see results tomorrow. But the fact of the matter is... we didn't get fat over night. It took years of hard work and diligent, consistent, persistent bad habits to get us to this place where we'd want to consider surgery. So it would take equal and opposing diligence, consistence and persistence of positive, good, healing habits to get us where we longed to be. So I looked at the scale and said "f you" and kept on doing what I was told to do. Kept eating right. Doubled up my gym activity and vowed to stick to it. Just keep doing it, because it makes you feel better, your endurance is through the roof and it's a great outlet for frustration. Don't give up. Then suddenly - all the comments - you know the ones I said I wasn't hearing? - started to pour in. "Hey, wow, you're really losing weight..." "you're just melting away" "look at you skinny girl" "don't lose too much weight now..." (that's my favorite one - because I've only just hit the 1/3 mark on what I want to lose. And it's every day. And it 's from everyone. Even the haters that didn't want to admit to me that they saw it like I knew they did. It's a little overwhelming and I try to be gracious with my response but also not let it swell my head. "Thank you - I've been working really hard at it" is my typical reply - and it's true. I'm so excited about my evolving body. I have to shop for some clothes that fit this weekend. And I'm really jazzed about it. And just like that - once I stopped focusing on it... the scale just started moving in the right direction. Those 5 lbs are all but gone now. Hoping that it continues past the lowest point I reached and that I can pack my bags up and put my home in Two-Dorville on the market and move back in to my cute little condo in One-derland. Here I come. And nothing will stop me.
  2. So my 2 month lapbandiversary is upon me and it's been an interesting ride thus far. A great one - but interesting. The first month was all about the weight just sloughing off of me and I was like WHOA. But as I started to pickup solids, that slowed down considerably. So I did the next logical thing I could think of -- work out harder. I do about an hour of exercise a day, between running 5K and doing some BeachBody home program, i'm always moving around and pushing myself. Which I know has created more muscle mass for my body to deal with. But the stamina I feel is UNREAL. Never before would I think that i could run 5K (i used the Couch 2 5K program by the way) that coached me along and a kick ass playlist that would kick in JUST when I thought I'd quit. It's almost like it knew I needed that little extra bit. I still marvel at the fact that I can go at a jogging pace for 28 minutes. When I first started... I couldn't get through the warm out without being out of breath. And that is real. What i hate to reveal is that somewhere in there there are 5 lbs that have resurfaced on my body. I want to believe it's muscle weight. Cause that just makes me feel better. And I'm sure that it is, because all my clothes fit differently. i'm wearing stuff I haven't touched since before (or right after) my daughter was born. We're talking -- she just turned 3 years old. And I couldn't wear that stuff for all this time. So I won't kill myself over the lbs.... but in the same instance, I won't go changing all of my tickers to reflect the "weight gain". Something great that did happen... the other day I was walking with a few friends after a memorial service for a dear departed friend gone too soon (he was only 43... and consequently is the new motivation in my head when I think I want to give up on getting better / healthier / slimmer). On our way from the church to the car in upper Harlem, there's a gang of people out out in the streets... it was hot and folks were on the street to get cool before they went to bed. The friends who accompanied me were slender and trim and always have been since I knew them in college. And I walked between them. So the men outside were catcalling "Ohhh... look at them... 1, 2 and 3...." "mm mmm mm... i wouldn't mind being warm next to them tonight..." and then finally, "Which one would I like.. the one in the middle... mmmmm hmmmm!" Now... under normal circumstances, I wouldn't give that man the time of day... but something weird happens when you're out of shape - no one notices you. You literally disappear although you're getting bigger and harder to miss. I'm aware there are a gang of feminist movements out there about women being catcalled and objectified in a society that belittles our worth and intrinsic value. But for just this moment... I reappeared on the map as a viable wantable thing... and I? LOVED IT. I smiled to myself and kept it moving. And will use it as fire in my little furnace of needing to be better. Some visuals attached of my progress. I have to keep remember it's only been 2 months. 30 lbs is A LOT. And I shouldn't poopoo it. But I do... because I want more. But I'm also willing to work for it. On to 40... October 1st, here I come!
  3. Lite'N'Sweet

    Progress

    It's happening....
  4. Lite'N'Sweet

    transformation

    From the album: Progress

    Taking inventory at the 2 month mark. Pictures make it seem realer....
  5. Lite'N'Sweet

    6:30 am I get banded! Tomorrow!

    Hooray!!!! So glad that you're doing well!! Was worried when we didn't hear back, but sometimes a break is necessary. Great progress do far!! Keep us posted!!!!
  6. Lite'N'Sweet

    One Month Bandiversary!

    WOO HOOO!!! Congratulations!! keep it going!!
  7. Life's pace has definitely picked up with being back and work and all. The challenges of time have definitely been affecting me. Especially - time to eat right, time to make good decisions and time to log what's been going on. I promised myself that I'd blog to keep up with my progress and empty out what's in my head so I don't lose track of the thoughts. So 14lbs in the first week is a LOT to live up to. I haven't lost that much more since - of course my scale is schitzo which is good in a way cause it keeps me off of there. But if I were to venture a guess from the last time i tried to sneak on there looks like i'm down another 2 or 4 lbs (depends on what direction I lean in on the scale LOL). So I'm down to either 222 or 224. I'll go with 224 just so that anything less will pleasantly be surprised. I started to get a little bummed when I thought to myself - i'm down past 230 which I haven't been in a long time AND yesterday when I got out of the car, the hubby called me "skinny girl". Clothes have been fitting WAY better... theres a bunch of NSVs to be had so I can't get wrapped up in the numbers. What I do need to do though is make sure I incorporate enough exercise EVERY DAY. I go in on the weekends but I get so caught up on the weekdays. And I MUST make time to make my protein shake in the morning otherwise, the rest of the day falls like dominoes with poor decisions -whether it means that I'll eat something I really shouldn't be or decide not to eat at all - which is an equally bad decision. Something I've learned since the swelling has gone down is that... I can totally eat just the way I used to. I think if I tried to throwback a bacon cheese burger... I could do it w/o getting "stuck" or "slimed" or any of that. But the beautiful thing is that... I HAVEN'T. The worst I've done was to have a hamburger patty with a little avocado. No bread, no bacon no nothing. And I ate it... SLOW. And I drank something 15 min later. So I get it. All this time before they actually activate you is to get you to train your own mind about what you need to be doing in order to be successful. Now i just have to keep it going, get some real activity in and watch the change roll in.
  8. Lite'N'Sweet

    So... I CAN eat like pre-op... but I WON'T...

    Well, none from the Band. I didn't have Sleeve surgery. I feel nothing from the Band at this time.
  9. Lite'N'Sweet

    My 1 Month LapBandiversary!

    Today makes 1 month since I had Peachez installed. (It's a working name... It may change) and I can't say I have any regrets. I'm down 25 lbs since then, have been working out pretty diligently ever since (despite my achilles injury :-( ) but the thing that has impressed me the most about my progress is that I feel absolutely 100% ZERO restriction from my lapband even WITH the fill / I don't regurgitate anything / i don't slime / I don't get stuck -- but have installed my mental restriction and it's pretty solid. My issue going into the surgery was that my resolve was constantly failing me. I would give myself loopholes and exceptions and ways out of having to have willpower or stick-to-it-iveness. So no matter what the plan, I failed. But with this... there's a new little voice in the back of my thoughts that reminds me right before I contemplate a cheat or anything that's anti productive. YOU CUT YOURSELF OPEN FOR THIS.... SERIOUSLY??? You're going to rethink this "cheat" right now. That ALWAYS gets me right back in line. I've taken all the great advice I've learned here on the message boards: chew my food REALLY well; wait in between bites; don't drink while i'm eating; stop when I'm satisfied; sometimes hunger is thirst in disguise so start with a liquid. They've all been essential tools in my progress. I hope that they'll bring me through the next few months and the next 25 lbs. however long that may take. My clothes are fitting differently... folks are starting to notice. I just need to keep it going. Might I see ONEderland again before I turn 40... would be an awesome birthday gift. So happy one monthiversary for me. Here's to a lifetime of better choices as a result!
  10. Lite'N'Sweet

    6:30 am I get banded! Tomorrow!

    Peeking in again... you've been so quiet. Hope everything is ok. keeping a good thought for you!!
  11. Is 4 cc's a lot? Cause that's what they claimed to put in there today. Also - should I still be THIS hungry after the fill? I'm STARVED but have to do Clear liquids for the next 3 days then start with Stage 2 for a week (liquid protein) Stage 3 for a week (pureeds) and then back to Stage 4 (whole foods). I'm just wondering what to think and what's standard.
  12. Lite'N'Sweet

    Lap band newbies

    I was on solid foods for a week then I had my first adjustment yesterday and am back on liquids again. I'm also in NYC - live in Brooklyn, but am from Queens. Would love to meet other bandsters. I'll follow the link!!
  13. Lite'N'Sweet

    Lap band newbies

    Banded on July 11th here! Welcome to the community and congrats on your surgery!
  14. Lite'N'Sweet

    Why do I keep making stupid choices?

    These experiences help you stow away reasons why you'll not do these things again. The next time you see baklava or any other sweet - you'll remember the headache... the disappointment. And you'll steer clear and opt to do better things - maeke better choices. It's part of the process for all of us!!! Keep your head up!
  15. Lite'N'Sweet

    Incisions

    I got 3 incisions during what I was originally told would have been a SILS operation (Single Incision Laparascopic Surgery). The doctor said my liver was a little enlarged and they needed the additional incision to insert a trocar to hold it up better than would have been through the single incision. So far of the three incisions, 2 of them have healed properly. The glue stayed on them nice and long and allowed for a proper closure. But One of the incisions (non port) is NOT healing well. The glue fell off of it early so it didn't get a chance to really "close". I told the doctor (Physician Assistant) about it and she advised me to clean it out with hydrogen peroxide and put neosporin on it. But here we are 3 full weeks post op and I have an unhealed crater on my abdomen. Needless to say I'm concerned about it healing and i'm totally disappointed because it's going to leave a serious mark. :-( Anyone else have a similar experience? What were you able to do about it if anything?
  16. Lite'N'Sweet

    6:30 am I get banded! Tomorrow!

    Hope everything went perfectly! Give us the update!
  17. Lite'N'Sweet

    MyFitnessPal

    Hi everyone! I use MyFitnessPal.com - i'm vfleary on there. Feel free to follow me
  18. Lite'N'Sweet

    Weight loss on liquid diet

    It has happened to me in the past. Think of it as an ebb and flow... your body loses... it adjusts... then it loses again, then adjusts. Don't give up during the adjustment. Stay consistent and you'll have results. (And try to stay off the scale... it'll drive you crazy sometimes LOL) Good luck to you!
  19. Lite'N'Sweet

    Day one - Surgery

    Good Luck!! Let us know how it goes!!!
  20. A lot of this process has been introspective. As you go through the process of allowing the healing and trying to mold your thoughts to propel you to success in the coming weeks, you evaluate what got you to this point. How did you arrive at this point in your life. You listen more deeply to the things people are saying around you and assess your surroundings a bit more critically. One thing I've noticed is that since I've unhinged "FOOD" as a center of my interactions, social life and celebrations, I have A.... LOT.... MORE.... TIME. Like. Wow. It's made me really look back and wonder what else was I doing besides eating. Clearly nothing. I sign up for a lot of freelance but normally never get it done on time because I'm so busy... doing what? Eating. Eating out, going to events where there's food... etc. But I've been getting so much freelance done lately because I've essentially been avoiding being in the presence of foods I can't eat if I could handle it. Just now I got paid for a freelance gig that I've been participating in for a while sans payment and he handed me cash. Normally the plan is to go to a fave restaurant and chow down on something nice w/o having to worry about cost because I have some liquid assets to go to it. But I'm like... OVER THINKING what I can do with this money right now.... because I won't be spending it on food. I guess I'll pay some bills... Still hungry though. But also avoiding the scale because I don't want any parts of that until the Dr.'s office.
  21. Lite'N'Sweet

    Divorce

    You're my new hero. That kind of bravery and pursuit of what you REALLY want in life are very hard to come by these days. BRAVO! You have a new fan!
  22. Lite'N'Sweet

    Soy crumbles, not bad!

    Cool site!! Thanks for sharing!
  23. Lite'N'Sweet

    My little lap band monster is coming out!

    Dr. Alvarez that advertises on this board? I don't know him personally but I did take time to watch some of his videos. He did the sleeve surgery on his mom and has a series on that. He does a LOT of video so I guess checking out his youtube page might give you a better feel for him (if he's the one you're talking about) https://www.youtube.com/user/Endobariatric Good luck - really sorry that it didn't work out for you... but I pray for your success in whatever you decide to do!
  24. Going good since the doctor's visit. I've decided to go the liquid protein route for at least a week before incorporating some soft foods. So I have vats of this protein powder that I had been using at the beginning of last year that was really good. Low carb, low fat, high protein and when I was using it for that diet I lost quite a bit. (BioTrust is the brand name). So I have one in the morning for breakfast, drink my liquids throughout the day and then have one for dinner. It hasn't been too bad. I just have to mentally fight my natural propensity to sample things throughout the day. I've also been doing great canceling the rationalization to eat certain things... or tell myself that I could somehow chew something fine enough to swallow it and not have it make a difference. I got my Fitbit on Friday and have been wearing it diligently ever since. I like it a lot especially because i can wear it in the shower / rain whatever. Makes it more convenient to just always have it on and i do love the constant counting versus my phone which only counts if I'm holding it. Seeing the numbers at the end of the day really make me feel like I'm accomplishing a lot more than I think I am. Saturday was another pre-planned thing I knew I was going to have to attend. My husband's fraternity chapter cookout. *sigh* It's at the beach so I committed myself to spending more time at the surf than by the mushrooms where everyone was gathered and eating. Which worked for a little while. But the day was overcast and the water wasn't really warm so I couldn't stay there very long. Back to the mushrooms I went and sipped my water as the smells from the grill wafted over and plate after plate was made and paraded in front of me. I'm proud that I didn't try to sample anything. I did try to talk myself into mashing some mac and cheese really good so it would be LIKE a porridge. But I got past that. The funny thing was, I was hanging with a few of my long time friends during that time and one of them was GOING. IN. on the food. I mean... she never wasn't eating. She never wasn't drinking something alcoholic. She was just non stop. To the point where I was nervous for her... she'd never been like THAT.... or had she been? And I was just... right there with her - maybe worse - eating and drinking up a storm? Is that what I looked like? I thought to myself. It definitely made me stick to my plan even more. So my TOM is here. Which SUCKS. Aside from bad cramps on night one, it wasn't worse than pre-band. I waited for the whole "your organs swell" thingy to affect me, but this time around it didn't. I'm looking forward to the scale registering that I lost more weight once it's gone (bye bye water...). My glue is starting to fall off and expose the wounds / stitches. So I'm taking special pains to make sure I take care of them so they don't scar too bad. I keloided pretty bad on my lateral c-section scar, i just want to limit how much scarring they would show. On to week 2!
  25. Day 6 was the return to work. Which was good and bad. Good because I have an office that I can't readily see everyone so when they're chowing down out there I'm oblivious. Bad because I work in entertainment and entertainment people are ALWAYS. EATING. So there's always yummy food just around the corner. Of course on the day I return there's a meet and greet with an artist and they catered it with the most delectable smelling soul food. But... I sipped my water. I went to Hale and Hearty to get soup for lunch because I figured if I try to incorporate normality in this not completely normal way of doing things it won't feel like so much of a restriction. So yes, go out at lunch and purchase a lunch (even if it IS broth) and then come back and eat it at lunch time just like it's an actual meal. I asked them to give me just the broth from the chicken noodle soup but I forget that their soups are mass made and stew for a while in those vats so the ingredients tend to melt and fall apart... making it very difficult to get a spoonful of just broth. But I worked at it long and hard and got my broth out. I was proud of myself. Day 7 was my follow up at the doctor. Traffic made me late (I was pissed) but when I called and asked if I could still come in they assured me that they'd see me at whatever time I showed up. That put me at ease, so I enjoyed the rest of the ride there. I got there and they saw me almost immediately. Firstly for the weigh in. They have this huge plate that you step on and the read out for the scale is off to your left (you the weigh-ee are facing a wall)... so you kind of have an option of NOT looking at the number. Which I kind of didn't want to see. I stepped on and clinched my eyes closed ... What if I hadn't lost? What if it didn't budge? What if i GAINED...? *gasp* I mean... my TOM is looming... maybe I'm retaining water... all these thoughts poofed like a little cloud when I heard the nurse say, "Well, look at you?!?" I turned to my left and there it was. 226. Quick calculations in my head (because I'm soooo bad at math). 14 lbs... in 7 days. Really? REALLY? Okay okay - don't get TOO excited... just calm down because ... cause .... WOW 14 LBS????? Man! Then a chat with my surgeon who explained why I had 3 incisions instead of the afore promised 1. "Your liver was a little enlarged. So we needed an additional trocar to hold it up better so we could see." Sure didn't love hearing that. But hey... they made it happen. He took a quick look at my incisions, asked me if I'd had any vomiting or nausea, gave me the clean bill of health and then whisked me off to the nutritionist. She marveled at the number and kept stopping short of saying "you got through this all with flying colors!" She'd say "You got through this all with... you did really well." And I'm wondering if that's like a jinx thing for her... or maybe she forgot the phrase. Whatevvs. She went over what my next 3 weeks should look like. Talked about 2 protein shakes a day to supplement my 48 ounces of liquid. Just that for 1 week. Then in week two introduce thinned liquid foods - mashed potatoes, cream of wheat, farina, oatmeal, lowfat yogurt, pureed vegetable only soups (with NO "beans" in them -- too fibrous she said). Then by week three, I can start to experiment with the same foods but thicker. She broke it down by saying "do you have kids?" I replied yes... and she said - so you would give a newborn an apple to eat. You'd graduate them to the apple. So you start with formula, then a little rice cereal in the formula, then a little rice cereal alone... etc... I nodded with understanding. She gave me some more accolades and pats on the back and then walked me out to the reception area where I waited to settle up my bill. Then she exclaimed... "WAIT... you had the lap band??" and I said kind of suspiciously, "Yeeeaaaah.....?" And she replied quickly, "Oh noo... come back in here... I gave you the wrong plan. I thought you were a Sleeve patient by the amount of weight you lost!" The little cheerleader inside of me did a backflip. She called me back in and quickened the plan. NOT over 3 weeks. Actually I can start experimenting with foods THIS week, etc... then the following week for pureed foods, then to solids adding one a day. I finished by asking her if I could stick to the Sleeve plan and before I could finish the question she said "Absolutely!!" Things are going well. NOW... i gotta manage my expectations and reactions for the slow down which may or may not happen... so I don't get discouraged. But for now? I'm walkin' on sunshine! #lovethelapband

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