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I have a 7 year old so I didn't want to tell her too soon about my surgery. She lost her grandfather (my dad) a year ago and her dad has left and only saw her once in a year. Needless to say she is very close to me. My surgery is Wednesday. She cried herself to sleep last night and was still upset this morning. She kept saying I might die and she doesn't want me to go to the hospital. My heart is breaking for her. I wish there was some way to reassure her. I told her my doctor said this is an easy surgery and that I would be ok. Please keep her and I in your prayers if you can. She is my entire world and I need to be here for her. Any advice would be appreciated.

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@@SherB

Aw, Sorry to hear that you're daughter is having such a hard time with this. I wish I could give you an answer on how to make things easier for her, but I don't know as if there is one. But I can give my love and support, after surgery things will get better and she'll realize you're alright.

I made the decision not to tell my daughter, she's 4 and I don't really think she'll really grasp the concept so were sending her down for vacation a week at her Nanas.

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Omg. That sweet little girl, she has been through so much in her 7 years. Prayers are with you and her, can u have someone bring her to hospital when your out of surgery to see your ok? Good luck too u in your journey.

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That's a lot of loss for your little angel. Maybe you could come at it from a different direction. Maybe ask her if you fell and broke your leg, wouldn't she want you to go to the hospital to get it fixed? Could you explain to her that doctors and nurses go to school for lots of years to learn how to help people feel better? And when people feel better they live longer and are happier? And that happy healthy Mommies are able to do more with their children?

Hopefully you can explain that your new remodeled tummy won't be near as hungry as the one you have, and by the time school starts in the fall, you will be thinner and feel so much better. If you can explain this process on her terms, to a seven year old's understanding (and not a grown-up's) maybe she can relax a little. Just make sure that you validate her concern. I think a child her age can readily grasp the concept that hospitals are full of people who care about getting you out of bed and back home.I wish you the best.

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I'll be praying for you! I have a 7 year old daughter myself and she asked lots of questions before and after but now it is no big deal. As soon as you are out of surgery, her anxiety will be better.

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Awe I am so sorry for your daughter. I kinda mentioned it to my 7 year old son and his response was he didn't want me getting my stomach taken out. So different scenario for me. I will definitely keep her in my thoughts. Like someone above said, do you have someone who can bring her to the hospital to see that you are ok after the surgery is over. Even if she can't see you right away to at least be there when the doctor comes out and let the family know it's done. The time the surgery takes will be like forever to her!! To at least knowing she will be there and hear from the surgeon maybe it will be easier on her.

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Lean on us for any rough moments post-operatively. It'll be easier on her to not see you suffer / struggle after surgery, given her concerns. I think your response after surgery can either lessen her fears or heighten them. My prayers are with your baby girl and that you have a textbook surgery and recovery, free of complications. Best wishes to you. ❤

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Thank you all for your support. I could just sit here and cry today. Feeling super emotional. I did not tell her what type of surgery I was having just that it was to help me feel better. I think I am going out today after work and buy a recordable book for her. She can have that with her while I am in the hospital. I hope it will help her feel closer to me. I hate that she feels so upset. I could have my cousin bring her to the hospital but it will depend on how I feel. I broke my toe a few months back, (it was facing the wrong direction) and she cried. I don't want her to see me if I am in a lot of pain but otherwise it may be in the plans to have her come to the hospital.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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