...don't come down on folks when they offer it.

Especially if you are new to the WLS experience and the vets respond to you. We see the same questions over and over and over again and we still take the time to answer you because we know that for you, it's the first time you are going through this.

It would be so easy for us vets to leave the forum and live our lives successfully but we stay here because we remember how it was at the beginning or if we see that you are struggling during the WLS journey....so we stay here and try to help. Please think about that if you don't like how we've responded. It's not because we know better....it's because we simply know more than you do right now. Respect that please.

We try so hard to be sympathetic when you screw up or ask questions that you already know the answers to...like I didn't lose 5 lbs. in one week, is this a stall? Or, I ate a bag of chips...did I do bad?

I've been on this forum for a year and a half and in that time, I've seen too many vets take a hike and it's often because they are rebuffed when they offer insights or even just their own personal experiences. If you want this forum to succeed, and if you personally want to succeed...be aware of what you say either on the forum or when you PM. Especially when you PM.

And one more thing. I didn't post this on Rants and Raves because it's not a rant. It's a request.

Thank you, vets! You are invaluable!

A huge thank you to all the vets. I have learned so much from you!!!

I'm HOPEFULLY about a month from surgery and I know that I have seen that same questions about a hundred times (I'm looking at you protein posts) since I joined this site in April and each time at least 1 or 2 vets will still step in and answer and that is greatly appreciated!! I like all the others that posted in here greatly appreciate the vets for sticking around and answering everyones repeated questions with patience and honesty. I like the no nonsense responses because we don't have time for babying, those days are over. Babying ourselves for years is how we got to this point! So again...THANK YOU!!

It takes all of us to make a community.

I'd like to thank the newbies that extend the time and effort to ask questions with enough information to allow us to offer meaningful suggestions. Thank you to those who avoid asking impossibly broad questions - "What was your experience from pre-op to goal weight?" - that few have the time to answer and few have the time to read if we did answer. Thank you to those who acknowledge answers to their questions. Thank you to those who understand that you can't whine your way to success - we all need a wake-up call on occasion. Thank you to those who share not only their challenges but their successes as well - we all benefit from your experiences, good and not so good, just like you benefit from ours.

Newbies and vets alike, we are ALL part of the community that makes Bariatric Pal the special place that it is. My thanks to everyone for their contributions!

I'm almost a week out of my surgery and I soooo appreciate the encouragement and wisdom the vets have shared. Thank you all so much!! I know b4 wls when I would blow up with a family member about my weight it was a smoke screen to hide I was doing something wrong. I KNOW this surgery is going to bring me to another level of humility. So grateful for the surgery and this forum to help me through this. Newbies, please don't go on the defense, they're speaking from experience.

I for one really appreciate the vets and all their words of wisdom! Though I also dont understand why people ask about stalls and things they know they shouldnt eat?? I am having surgery on August 5th and have spent so much time on this site as well as others trying to get in as much info as I can. Sometimes I feel like I am in info overload - but still find myself researching every day! It is a very scary thing to be doing this!!

I understand the desire for people to get their own personal answers to their own personal questions.... so I just ignore many of the repeated questions figuring others will answer, but I do try to stay on the band to sleeve revisions and the plastic surgery ones.

It is a serious concern though of maintaining an environment that people stay around longer term because that is a real benefit to all of us. Part of it is that people frankly don't understand some things that they personally have not been through. For example, I was sharing something I had experienced, as someone who has been maintaining for awhile now, and I was accused of having an eating disorder because I was "hypersensitive" to criticism of the way I eat. WTF? Another time I was accused of being a bully for disagreeing with a factually incorrect statement relating to plastics in Mexico.

I know that people newly sleeved and in the honeymoon phase, rolling along, think they got it all figured out - but truth of the matter is that as time goes on, your experiences and challenges evolve and change. I try to not take it personally. The more time goes on, the less I know - that's for sure.

Back in the 2000 timeframe, when I was a lapband person (called Bandsters in those days!) the vet forum was HIDDEN on the support group site I frequented. It was a terrible situation for newbies - if I had access to that vet site before I was banded, I would have never done it. It wasn't till I was a year out and having complications that I realized how many people had my same problems. I hope that we can continue to have a vets forum here that is actually for vets to discuss vets issues (and not "ask a vet") otherwise people go underground and off to private/hidden support groups and everybody loses.... When Vets' conversations are visible to everyone, but the vets feel free to discuss and are supported by other vets - newbies learn from what they read while vets still have a meaningful support system.

(oh yes, I have also been told off in a pretty hostile way for explaining the guidelines for posting in the vets forum too. Now, if a newbie post shows up in the vet forum I just move it and don't waste my time trying to be nice about it.)

Edited June 30, 201412 yr by CowgirlJane

Well said! Those of us who are in the beginning stages need all the help and support we can get and should not make it our goal to send the vets running and screaming as far away as they can possibly get from us.

Thank you to all the vets who put up with the endless (and sometimes really odd) questions and go the extra mile to support everyone!

If you don't want an honest response, don't ask for advice. . .

I miss hearing from vets on this page. I get a lot of nice advice from newbies and those who are pre-op, but I wish I could hear from those of you I remember and recognize. People who are going through what I am going through right now.

I miss hearing from vets on this page. I get a lot of nice advice from newbies and those who are pre-op, but I wish I could hear from those of you I remember and recognize. People who are going through what I am going through right now.

Hey I'm still here.... When I am not in the hospital I am here trying to help everyone I can.. Please don't count me out yet!!!!!!

There are vets who post but you are right that many leave. Some just don't need or want it to be a focus anymore but many move on to private groups (Facebook etc) to seek support. This is why I hope we can keep the veterans forum active so people can get meaningful support here.

I am neither a vet or a newbie, I'm a in betweener! I was sleeved 10/21/13. I am FAR from a perfect patient. I have made mistakes. I have had pity parties of one and, at times, reached out for support. I am human and I have failings. But the vets here have been awesome. I credit each and every one of them for helping me through the early months. I did my research, I read info up one side and down the other. And not one bit of that helped me nearly as much as the first hand experience of all the sleevers on this site. I truly appreciate them and the time they took with me. And I have 'paid it forward' by doing my part to advise and share my experiences with others. That is the entire purpose of a support site!!! Support each other. Sometimes, it is tough love. Understand what is being said is always for your wellbeing and best interest. It isn't malicious or meant to be hurtful. It is a deeply emotional as well as physical process, sometimes that emotion can be raw. Just remember those who have gone before have earned their stripes, and those that follow have a long road ahead...

There are vets who post but you are right that many leave. Some just don't need or want it to be a focus anymore but many move on to private groups (Facebook etc) to seek support. This is why I hope we can keep the veterans forum active so people can get meaningful support here.

I'm curious - is this a new phenomenon - vets leaving? Or has this always been the case?

I am only 6 weeks post-op and rely so much on the vets experience and the kindness they've shown me.

I also love to help people and when I become a vet I will for sure remember these days and give back freely the advice that has been and is being given to me.

Edited July 2, 201412 yr by TonyaNKy

I echo everyone who's thanked the vets for hanging here and being so kind to the newbies.

As the old song goes, you'll have stars in your crown.