...don't come down on folks when they offer it.

Especially if you are new to the WLS experience and the vets respond to you. We see the same questions over and over and over again and we still take the time to answer you because we know that for you, it's the first time you are going through this.

It would be so easy for us vets to leave the forum and live our lives successfully but we stay here because we remember how it was at the beginning or if we see that you are struggling during the WLS journey....so we stay here and try to help. Please think about that if you don't like how we've responded. It's not because we know better....it's because we simply know more than you do right now. Respect that please.

We try so hard to be sympathetic when you screw up or ask questions that you already know the answers to...like I didn't lose 5 lbs. in one week, is this a stall? Or, I ate a bag of chips...did I do bad?

I've been on this forum for a year and a half and in that time, I've seen too many vets take a hike and it's often because they are rebuffed when they offer insights or even just their own personal experiences. If you want this forum to succeed, and if you personally want to succeed...be aware of what you say either on the forum or when you PM. Especially when you PM.

And one more thing. I didn't post this on Rants and Raves because it's not a rant. It's a request.

There are vets who post but you are right that many leave. Some just don't need or want it to be a focus anymore but many move on to private groups (Facebook etc) to seek support. This is why I hope we can keep the veterans forum active so people can get meaningful support here.

I'm curious - is this a new phenomenon - vets leaving? Or has this always been the case?

It is not a new phenomenon and it's not that it has always been the case. That said, when you answer the same questions over and over, and you hear new WLS patients asking if I did this right or that right or are looking for absolution for eating pizza 3 days out of surgery it's hard for a veteran to keep posting reply's that are supportive. Then for those that do post and try to let a new WLS patient know that NO it's not OK for you to eat pizza 3 days out of surgery only to get responses back that are nasty it becomes clear to that Veteran that they need a break. Some drift off the forums for a while, they might read what people are talking about but they won't post and they won't share much, and that is sad because they have lots to share.

We have to remember that the written word on a forum is not like sitting face to face with your friends and family, and that certain tones can be inferred even if that was not the intention. So I find it best to take everything in stride and remember that if they didn't want my opinion or that of others then they should not have posted on this site

Veteran or no, I don't consider myself to be any better or worse then anyone else on this site. I have something to learn from my Peers, from those who have been here longer and those who are brand spanking new to the site and and to WLS as well as those who are just "thinking" about it. No matter what my background and education in this area or any other area's happens to be, I don't think I am above learning something from just about every post. Even if it happens to be the things NOT to do and I don't hold back from sharing my experiences, my thoughts, ideas, teachings or understanding on any subject.

All that said though...I am out living my life as are most of us. I am here when I can be and I interact as often as I am able, because it is a support for me as well as for others. Having a site like this is an awesome thing for me since it's always here 24/7 and I can find time to check in and get a refresher when I need it any time day or night. It's here for all of us and we just need to remember that it's a support sight. There is always room for a rant or rave about something, but there is no tolerance for non-supportive behavior that is what drives all people away not just the veterans.

Hope you all have a happy and safe Fourth of July!!!

As a food addict I sympathize with others and try not to take it personal if they reply with something rude. I think maybe it might just be the fact that they have given up their crutch and are having a difficult time adjusting.

I would like to thank the vets for all their input. Before I had my RNY I had done tons of research and thought I had a pretty good handle on things. Boy was I wrong. I had to spend an extra day in the hospital and when I got home I stepped on the scale expecting a nice loss. 22 pound GAIN is what I got. I was pretty sure it was Fluid but I posted about it and got great info which eased my mind. Also reading others post about things I experience has made this life changing event easier. Again THANK YOU.

nice post and I will always appreciate any comments from someone who has succeeded.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone offering advice and encouragement. I wanted to get lap band or sleeve. Not sure which way to go and was nervous about doing it. I had about a million questions. The members on this site have given me so much info and help in making a decision. Having surgery in August. Appreciate you all. Wishing everyone a fantastic 4th of July weekend!

My mom always told me "Never ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to." I think that is awesome advice

My mom always told me "Never ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to." I think that is awesome advice

i tell this to my kids all the time! lol

Thank you to all the veterans that do stick around and have the time and patience. I am one month post op and if it wasn't for this site and all the vets experiences, encouragement, and insights....I don't know what I would do. Right now, you are all my life line!! I wouldn't be able to do this without you all. And when I have become stronger and more stable with my new sleeve and weight loss, I will pay it forward to future newbies!

Well said that Lady!

However, no one sends me nasty PM's. I think I am blessed in that regard!

I am thankful I found this website. Bless us all for this journey.