If you are asking for advice...

[gowalking 10,790]

...don't come down on folks when they offer it.

Especially if you are new to the WLS experience and the vets respond to you. We see the same questions over and over and over again and we still take the time to answer you because we know that for you, it's the first time you are going through this.

It would be so easy for us vets to leave the forum and live our lives successfully but we stay here because we remember how it was at the beginning or if we see that you are struggling during the WLS journey....so we stay here and try to help. Please think about that if you don't like how we've responded. It's not because we know better....it's because we simply know more than you do right now. Respect that please.

We try so hard to be sympathetic when you screw up or ask questions that you already know the answers to...like I didn't lose 5 lbs. in one week, is this a stall? Or, I ate a bag of chips...did I do bad?

I've been on this forum for a year and a half and in that time, I've seen too many vets take a hike and it's often because they are rebuffed when they offer insights or even just their own personal experiences. If you want this forum to succeed, and if you personally want to succeed...be aware of what you say either on the forum or when you PM. Especially when you PM.

And one more thing. I didn't post this on Rants and Raves because it's not a rant. It's a request.

[SandyM 1,956]

Absolutely correct. If you don't want advice, don't ask; if you don't want someone elses personal experiences, dont ask, if you wonder if you need to call your surgeon, definitely do that.

[Kindle 8,667]

I wish I could "like" this post a hundred times!

I really think some people are only looking for the answers that validates their destructive behavior or attitude. If they wanted "real" answers they could search the forum. It's frustrating for me to see so many people sabotaging their efforts or making themselves miserable with self-induced stress. It's like they don't recognize the incredible gift that this surgery gives them. I know I come across as harsh in a lot of my posts, (and I've got the whiny PM's to prove it) but my replies are no different than what I would tell a close friend if they were asking the same thing.

[Dreamin Again 112]

Thank you to all the vets who have stuck around to help us all get more informed. I for one appreciate all you can tell me

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Good thing you didn't put this on Rants and Raves because I have to monitor that site....hehehehehehehe

[beachgurl84 456]

As somebody who has about 4 months to go before surgery, I can tell you I am drinking in and absorbing every single bit of knowledge the vets provide. It's like a connection to the future. I know I will get there. It will be stressful and hard and I may make stupid mistakes, But I can read these forums and know I'm working towards a wonderful goal that will change my life. So when I make mistakes, I get on this site and start reading questions, stories, even stats.

Thank you to all the vets that have stuck around to provide this information and motivation for us. Being 4 months away, it's not like I can call my surgeon and ask a million questions yet. I haven't seen any vets respond negatively to any of my posts yet, but if they do, I'll take it for what it's worth. It's someone that has been there, done that, and got through it themselves. I know they are taking the time to respond because at one point, they probably asked a stupid question themselves and they know how important it is to get honest answers whether I want to hear them or not.

So whether you're ranting or raving, please keep doing what you're doing. We may not like your response, but we need it. We didn't get to this point because we're perfect, and sometimes a virtual slap upside the head is exactly what we need to stay on track.

[Shells_Almost_There 357]

Excellent post! I actually left the site and took a nice long break because so many of the recent arrivals were being really nasty when provided with answers they didn't want to hear, and so many vets who I really liked had left out of frustration. I recently decided to give the site another chance, since it was so helpful for me pre-op and during my first couple of months post op. I find myself needing a community of support again, and am happy to see that a number of the users who were being vicious back then seem to be gone Thanks to all those uber-patient vets who are still here, handing out solid advice and reason!!! (I'm specifically looking at you, @RJ'S/beginning !)

Edited June 29, 2014 by Shells_Almost_There

[Crosby 303]

You have permission to Beat me into submission if needed....I am a babe in the woods and soo appreciate the insight. I have been reading and reading and reading and still have so much to learn.

[LipstickLady 25,677]

...don't come down on folks when they offer it.

Especially if you are new to the WLS experience and the vets respond to you. We see the same questions over and over and over again and we still take the time to answer you because we know that for you, it's the first time you are going through this.

It would be so easy for us vets to leave the forum and live our lives successfully but we stay here because we remember how it was at the beginning or if we see that you are struggling during the WLS journey....so we stay here and try to help. Please think about that if you don't like how we've responded. It's not because we know better....it's because we simply know more than you do right now. Respect that please.

We try so hard to be sympathetic when you screw up or ask questions that you already know the answers to...like I didn't lose 5 lbs. in one week, is this a stall? Or, I ate a bag of chips...did I do bad?

I've been on this forum for a year and a half and in that time, I've seen too many vets take a hike and it's often because they are rebuffed when they offer insights or even just their own personal experiences. If you want this forum to succeed, and if you personally want to succeed...be aware of what you say either on the forum or when you PM. Especially when you PM.

And one more thing. I didn't post this on Rants and Raves because it's not a rant. It's a request.

This.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I really try not to beat people up you know....not many did it to me when I needed support! I do however have a bad day here and there. @@Shells_Almost_There There are plenty of others sweetie that can be there for you all!!! okay!

[MichelleTN 169]

Thank you vets for all you do to help. You are appreciated & the reason I finally decided to get started.

[chris1142 148]

Thank you vets! Because I read this site obsessively for several months before my surgery I knew from the get go what to do to be successful for me and I have sucked it up and done that for the 5 months I have been sleeved.

Without the wise words of the terrific vets on the forum I just might of tried doing this my way rather than my surgeons way and that most likely would have gotten me where it's always gotten me--to another failed attempt at weight loss.

So I big Thank You to all the vets for telling what works for them.

Edited June 29, 2014 by chris1142

[terry1118 1,273]

This site was invaluable to me before and after surgery. I learned a lot, both by other's mistakes and successes. I knew what to expect before during and after surgery and got good tips to prepare for it. Tips about what to buy, what to do and not do, and tips for easing discomfort of painful gas. VERY valuable - the threads regarding constipation! Reading about successes was a great encouragement and kept me focused so I could someday be in that category. recipes helped me eat foods at each stage that met my dietary needs and tasted great. Sometimes all I needed was a little sympathy after a 'foamies' incident from someone who knows what 'foamies' are, and I got that too. And so on, and so on...

As a 'vet' of just over one year post op, I have to give other vets a lot of credit for tirelessly answering the same old questions over and over and over again. And occasionally getting bashed for it. Sometimes people don't want to hear the plain honest truth, but the best help you can give them IS the truth! After my surgical team, this site is the most valuable resource I have had since I made my decision to do RNY back in Feb 2013 (my actual surgery was 5/30/13). I thank the vets for being there when I needed it. With your example to follow, I hope to continue to share my personal experiences when it may help someone else. :-)

[Andrea K 33]

You have permission to Beat me into submission if needed....I am a babe in the woods and soo appreciate the insight. I have been reading and reading and reading and still have so much to learn.

Me too!

[jess9395 5,443]

Like!