Question about being "finished" with weight loss

[kat77 63]

Hi everyone,

Before I begin, let me say this, Please don't get angry at me because I remember thinking that people my size complaining about this were ridiculous and trying to get attention. It made me angry that they called themselves fat when I had so far to go. But after being fat for my entire life, it is so hard to see anything else.

I just wanted to ask if anyone else is in the same place I am. I. Have lost over 150 lbs. according to the doc I am beginning to be underweight but my BMI is still 19.8. I don't know what to do because it is so confusing to go from "lose weight or you'll die" to "you need to stop losing and maybe even gain a few lbs"

Please don't think I'm whining or complaining, I'm just confused. I still feel overweight and there is extra skin on my stomach, arms and legs that looks like fat. So it's hard to say " ok, that's enough, I'm happy with what I've lost" because I'm not. What do you do to change the way you see yourself when you see a fat person still and they see underweight? I had my surgery 2-6-13 and I was 287.7 then. I'm 5'9" and 134.4 now in a size 3. . I'm 37 and it has all been spent obese except about a year in my early 20's and even then I was 200 lbs.

Is there anyone else who is finished losing who is struggling too? And even if you still have weight to lose, do any support groups talk about this issue? I'm not in one. Please help if you can and please don't be angry at my post, I'm writing with sincerity.

Thank you if you read this, Kat

Edited June 12, 2014 by kat77

[kat77 63]

Had to fix post sorry

Edited June 12, 2014 by kat77

[Writerjennifer 107]

I know you asked for answers from people who've already lost the weight... I have not had surgery yet.

I have, however, been weight almost my whole life. I first noticed I was overweight at 12.

There are often support groups WLS in larger areas, but I get the impression that you are leading toward anorexia. At 134 you are not fat. You know it, in your head, but now you need to learn it in your heart. Please seek help, either through group or individual therapy. Losing weight comes with a lot of issues, I am encountering some of them myself.

It's good you can recognize that you are having issues, and I hope you can get what you need.

Be healthy, live happy.

[kat77 63]

I am happy for a response from anyone's point of view. As you say, I know that my weight is " healthy" for my height, yes. I hear the number and it sounds great. But I am very unhappy with what is left of my body because it still looks fat to me. It's so hard to explain. I guess I had unrealistic expectations about how I would look. And I just feel like its so hard to wrap my head around them telling me that I can't lose any more. I am so used to always having needed to lose.

[Writerjennifer 107]

I totally understand. Loose skin well be a big problem for me when I get to my goal because I have ben overweight so long, and I'm 42 tests old. I have sign people with sagging extra skin and if you didnt know, one might think they just have more to lose. Have you considered a Tummy Tuck or some such treatment for the excess skin and stubborn fast stores? I know one I hit goal I wont look like a 20 year old hot body hottie... But I hope I can accept the changes and the reality.

and one thing... Do you strength train? They day it herod with loose skin, plus it can add pounds on (to make your doc happy) while tuning (to make you happy).

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

First congrsts on all your hard work paying off. I don't think anyone here is going to jump on you for an honest post like this.

Have you talked to your doctor about how you feel about yourbody? Your post reminds me of a recent Dr Phil show about body dismorphic disorder (I think it's called) where you don't see your body as it really is. I think talking to a therapist might help you regain some realistic expectations and help you see your body as it really is. And maybe it is time to consider some plastic surgery if you have a lot of excess skin.

Sending good thoughts your way!

Ginger

[terry1118 1,274]

Hi everyone,

Before I begin, let me say this, Please don't get angry at me because I remember thinking that people my size complaining about this were ridiculous and trying to get attention. It made me angry that they called themselves fat when I had so far to go. But after being fat for my entire life, it is so hard to see anything else.

I just wanted to ask if anyone else is in the same place I am. I. Have lost over 150 lbs. according to the doc I am beginning to be underweight but my BMI is still 19.8. I don't know what to do because it is so confusing to go from "lose weight or you'll die" to "you need to stop losing and maybe even gain a few lbs"

Please don't think I'm whining or complaining, I'm just confused. I still feel overweight and there is extra skin on my stomach, arms and legs that looks like fat. So it's hard to say " ok, that's enough, I'm happy with what I've lost" because I'm not. What do you do to change the way you see yourself when you see a fat person still and they see underweight? I had my surgery 2-6-13 and I was 287.7 then. I'm 5'9" and 134.4 now in a size 3. . I'm 37 and it has all been spent obese except about a year in my early 20's and even then I was 200 lbs.

Is there anyone else who is finished losing who is struggling too? And even if you still have weight to lose, do any support groups talk about this issue? I'm not in one. Please help if you can and please don't be angry at my post, I'm writing with sincerity.

Thank you if you read this, Kat

I've lost 115 pounds and now weigh 118. But I'm only 4'11" - 5' tall (depends on the person measuring, Lol). I'm at the very high end of what I should weigh for my height and my bmi is BARELY in the normal range. I have a pot belly that is more than just skin, and some love handles left. I still can't fit into the leather coat that I wore before my first pregnancy 28 years ago. People who have only ever known me as a fat person say I look anorexic - I don't - and they say I should stop losing. They say I look sick and bony. Again, I don't. I look okay for a 55 yrs old woman who used to be fat, but I don't look like I should for my small stature. I still feel fat, but only a little.

I can live with it. I'm healthier than I have been in YEARS, and I feel amazing. I have energy, I can wear pretty clothes, I may just enjoy a summer for the first time ever (at least I'll be warm), and I get to live life instead of watch it from the sidelines.

Try to focus on the positive changes in your life. You may be able to make the changes you want in your body, or you may not. Try to learn to be content w/your success (because you have been successful!!!) and learn to love yourself the way you are. Don't focus on visible 'flaws' but on enjoying yourself, doing things you couldn't do before and living life. Unhappiness will sabotage your well-being! :-)

[James Marusek 5,244]

On one visit with the nutritionist, she told me that I was within 5% of bottom. On the next visit after losing another 10%, she told me that I was at bottom and that if I lost any more weight to contact her immediately. So I figured that was it and moved from the weight loss phase to the maintenance phase. In the maintenance phase, I was able to add a few more calories to my diet. I have a weight scale that measures my weight in 0.2 pound increments. For the past 6 months, I have been able to maintain my weight between 160.0 and 162.0 pounds (my bottom).

I still have fat on my body. It is primarily below the belt. Which leaves my body somewhat distorted. I just don't worry about it. I had the surgery to drive many of my health problems into remission, not to look wonderful. But on the other side, I am now able to wear great clothes, so I am happy.

[kat77 63]

Thank you all for the really encouraging words. I have another weigh in tomorrow and we'll see how that goes. I appreciate all of your comments. I think I do see my self differently than my husband. He says I'm really skinny but then he. Doesn't get to see the fat bits. Anyways I appreciate all of you're help.

Kat

[bellabloom 2,469]

I am struggling with this as well. I am close to being underweight for my height and am scared to stop losing because I feel safe watching the scale go down and I don't want to tackle maintenance. I also feel there are places on my body I wish fat wild come off still. I sympathize completely.

[Lebim 381]

It definitely sounds like you are suffering from some degree of body dysmorphic disorder. Very common for this surgery, I too thought I needed to lose an additional 20lbs when I was 150lbs at 5'8" and now that I've packed some pounds back on everyone is telling me how I was "too thin" and "looked unhealthy." I think it would be wise to look into seeing a therapist if at all possible and be careful not to deny yourself food because you want to lose more weight. Try to focus on eating healthy, and not so much on losing weight. I know how much loose skin can make weight loss a bummer, it's not fair that you can be at a healthy weight but your skin makes you still feel fat. Perhaps getting into some serious weight training and body toning will not only make your loose skin less of an issue but also keep you preoccupied on your own health rather than how much you dislike how you look? Endorphins are a miracle cure for point of view and disposition. Congratulations on all you've lost and as hard as it may be to believe I bet you look 100x better than you think you do, I sure know when I look at my lowest weight pictures I can't believe how thin I was. You never see it until it's no longer there, unfortunately. Good luck with your journey :]

[MSWDiet 64]

I perceive my smaller self as fat. This is fairly common among many of my wls friends. For me it's grounded in the fear of slowly regaining weight. I'm on a diet for life because just a pound a year will result in obesity.

At a size 2/4 at stores like GAP, I measure myself against size 0 jeans from American Eagle because it's what fit when I made my goal.

I know that sounds crazy. But, any one who sews knows today's sizes have been altered. Vanity sizing makes what I call a two today an international standard size twelve.

I didn't feel fat when I was obese but I'm struggling to get and keep my body fat percentage around 18% to feel normal. I'm no athlete but I want to be lean as an athlete.

The low end of the normal range makes good sense. To me it means good health. Body fat and lean muscle mass are in my opinion more meaningful than bmi.

Be strong, fit and healthy. Never malnourished, frail and under fed. Sustained good health is more important than the numbers we use to measure success.

Edited August 18, 2015 by MSWDiet

[Niki15 198]

I am 5'9 and big boned I was hoping to get down to 180 as I have a pic of me at that weight and I look good.I am 3 weeks post op only and in total down only 16 pounds since surgery ..I am feeling a little scared what If I dont loose enough weight I feel like it is going really slow Hw 363 Sw 340 Cw 324

[MSWDiet 64]

@ Niki15

It's frustrating but don't fret too much over slow weight loss. I lost slowly with episodes of weight gain in between. My routine included daily exercise & following my low carb diet rules to the letter. It felt like a living nightmare.

I lost the weight after 17 months but nothing I did would speed things up. Keep at it. You may not have a quick start but eventually it will happen.

[bellabloom 2,469]

I am 5'9 and big boned I was hoping to get down to 180 as I have a pic of me at that weight and I look good.I am 3 weeks post op only and in total down only 16 pounds since surgery ..I am feeling a little scared what If I dont loose enough weight I feel like it is going really slow Hw 363 Sw 340 Cw 324

I would recommend cutting out carbs and really tracking your calorie intake. Everyone's metabolism is different and you may need to lower your calories. Keep at it, it will happen!