Recently Lost a Best Friend Because of My Decision to Get Bariatric Surgery

[frankt04 80]

Holy Sh*t balls!! That girl is off the hook jealous and in denial. I've been morbidly obese and I have been thin, there is NO comparison thin is better. I was happy as a fat person but every fat person wishes they were thin. It's a disease! I am so much happier being thinner.. I feel confidant and I know no one is judging me or laughing at me.. People actually are excited to meet me. Any fat person who thinks they are perfectly fine are lying.. They have just given up. I know. It's exhausting.. I was 300 pounds. I thought I was fine. I knew I wasn't. You need to surround yourself with positive people and babe she sure isn't one. Sorry you had to get such a nasty email I am sure that had to really hurt. Be proud of the choice you made! You will look back on that email and look at your new life and laugh at how ridiculous she is.. Good luck and pm me if you need any help! ❤️

You had me @ Holy shitballs

[futureformerfattie 26]

"Fat acceptance" is not about being kind to people who are overweight. Its about perpetuating the idea that being unhealthy is ok and should be embraced. It's harmful. Just like fat shaming is harmful, but on the opposite side of the spectrum.

I'm sorry for your loss, but find a friend who accepts you, not just fat you.

[sleeversue 93]

I too USE to be healthy when I was heavy or so I told myself until I developed diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea. It can come on you all at once. I don't hear about or no any heavy people who reach their later years in life and are still healthy. And by that time some of these diseases can be so bad you are now facing the side effects like heart disease, heart attacks, strokes, neuropathy, kidney disease/failure, blindness and on and on. Your EX friend is delusional if she thinks she will remain healthy as an obese person because none of us will!! Take it from me, I had my surgery for my health and the weight loss and looking better is a bonus.

[mrsto 2,925]

Holy Sh*t balls!! That girl is off the hook jealous and in denial. I've been morbidly obese and I have been thin, there is NO comparison thin is better. I was happy as a fat person but every fat person wishes they were thin. It's a disease! I am so much happier being thinner.. I feel confidant and I know no one is judging me or laughing at me.. People actually are excited to meet me. Any fat person who thinks they are perfectly fine are lying.. They have just given up. I know. It's exhausting.. I was 300 pounds. I thought I was fine. I knew I wasn't. You need to surround yourself with positive people and babe she sure isn't one. Sorry you had to get such a nasty email I am sure that had to really hurt. Be proud of the choice you made! You will look back on that email and look at your new life and laugh at how ridiculous she is.. Good luck and pm me if you need any help! ❤️

You had me @ Holy shitballs

Haha........me too! Love it :-)

[I will what I want 271]

I too USE to be healthy when I was heavy or so I told myself until I developed diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea. It can come on you all at once. I don't hear about or no any heavy people who reach their later years in life and are still healthy. And by that time some of these diseases can be so bad you are now facing the side effects like heart disease, heart attacks, strokes, neuropathy, kidney disease/failure, blindness and on and on. Your EX friend is delusional if she thinks she will remain healthy as an obese person because none of us will!! Take it from me, I had my surgery for my health and the weight loss and looking better is a bonus.

This is spot on. One of my friends waited too long to get her RNY and now has to have knee replacement. I've been on the fence and she made a big point in telling me not to follow in her footsteps - to get this handled now while I was still "healthy."

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

there was a recent study that confirms, that long term, you cannot be obese and healthy. you can be overweight and healthy, but not obese. i have a friend who recently discovered the idea of fat acceptance and keeps postings on Facebook that ts much better to love yourself then desire to lose weight. i dont know how to tell her that the best way to get healthy *is* to love yourself! i dont know how to tell her that its possible to get healthy without hating yourself and having a horrible body image! she doesnt seem to understand that having this surgery is the first self loving thing i have done in many many years! she seems to be convinced that wanting to lose weight and be healthy means i have bought into society's impossible beauty standards (HA! i am 48, practically dead according to pop culture!). i dont know how to get her to understand that my desire to not die at age 56 like my dad has nothing to do with fat shaming. she has 4 kids. she is prob close to 300 pounds. her H weighs more. the chances of one or both of them dying young is pretty good. for her to remain fat has nothing to do with fat acceptance.......

[AuriP 420]

I'm sure it has been stated over and over again, your friend is missing the point on why people do this surgery. Yes many people can and do lose weight the old fashioned way but many regain the weight and stay on a vicious cycle for the rest of their lives. I do not want to stay on that wheel any longer. I feel for your friend only in her having an eating disorder that pretty much destroyed her life, I have no idea how long you have been friends( I have not read through the whole 10 pages yet) but if you were at the time she was going through her eating disorder is it pretty sad she can not be there for you. My mom and sister and I are over weight in various stages, my mom has recently lost almost 100lbs to date (yay!). What made her though was a heart attack 99% blocked widow maker in 2 places of her heart, this was after having a stroke and diabetes. I am not going the route of my mother, she was also a serial dieter, this is my way of nearly ensuring prevention of all of those diseases. I hope your friend will eventually see the light and I hope you will in time forgive her wrong doings.

[Sparklingbeauty53 202]

I am sorry you are losing a friend in your opinion but she seems to be more of a zealot; not a friend. Your loss is our gain, come be our friend here. We are much less judgmental and we see it your way-getting healthier! If it was plastic surgery it wouldn't be covered by health insurance. Her ignorance shows. I'd count whatever she weighs as part of your weight loss! With friends like her you don't need enemies.

[sleeversue 93]

shellief, I am 65, morbidly obese, but at the lower range, but I am an insulin dependent diabetic, have high blood pressure, and severe sleep apnea. PLUS the knee issues like you mentioned about your friend and back issues Why? All because of my weight. If I can encourage any younger people to do this early and avoid the extra burden of these health issues, I will.

There is great hope, I will eliminate all three things from my life and I came home 4 days ago from the hospital following my surgery on only 20 units of insulin as opposed to 106 before surgery. But don't put yourself through 4 shots a day, dozen of meds that only cause side effects, when you can walk in greater health. I am committed all the way to doing this right and extending my life for my husband, kids, and grandkids.

You can do it too Sharon C. and without your so-called friend. It is has made me so mad since I read your post that someone could be so ignorant and I also have compassion on her because she is lost in her own issues. She may still need a friend as others have mentioned as long as she doesn't pull you down, because if she continues to do so, it will only hurt you. Put yourself first in this situation. She is really in denial. Keep us posted. By the way, what has been your reaction? have you ignored her? Have you set her straight? Or are you just letting it set a while? You will know what to do when it is the right time for you.

[Wallflower7522 328]

Your friend is an ass. You do you girl. You're better off with out her. I have a feeling even if you did try to loose weight via diet and exercise she'd be pissed off about that.

[Sharon Chen 39]

I sent her a message saying that I wish she understood that my reasons for getting the surgery are to improve my health, well-being, and quality of life, not cosmetic and that I wish her all the best. She did not respond to my message. I guess it's over.

shellief, I am 65, morbidly obese, but at the lower range, but I am an insulin dependent diabetic, have high blood pressure, and severe sleep apnea. PLUS the knee issues like you mentioned about your friend and back issues Why? All because of my weight. If I can encourage any younger people to do this early and avoid the extra burden of these health issues, I will.
There is great hope, I will eliminate all three things from my life and I came home 4 days ago from the hospital following my surgery on only 20 units of insulin as opposed to 106 before surgery. But don't put yourself through 4 shots a day, dozen of meds that only cause side effects, when you can walk in greater health. I am committed all the way to doing this right and extending my life for my husband, kids, and grandkids.
You can do it too Sharon C. and without your so-called friend. It is has made me so mad since I read your post that someone could be so ignorant and I also have compassion on her because she is lost in her own issues. She may still need a friend as others have mentioned as long as she doesn't pull you down, because if she continues to do so, it will only hurt you. Put yourself first in this situation. She is really in denial. Keep us posted. By the way, what has been your reaction? have you ignored her? Have you set her straight? Or are you just letting it set a while? You will know what to do when it is the right time for you.

[sleeversue 93]

You did all you could and the right thing. Hope your journey ahead is only filled with wonderful, positive, loving friends.

[mrsto 2,925]

You took the high road.....which speaks volumes about you.

Good riddance to bad rubbish......

[I will what I want 271]

I have been doing a ton of research, as we all have, on why WLS works when diets don't. I read everything I can find, including the scientific studies. I'm not a biochemist so I don't understand everything, but I do get the gist. From what I understand and what my surgeon told me, it really appears that WLS (especially rny and vgs) primarily work by resetting the metabolism...meaning obesity .really. is a faulty metabolism. Getting our metabolism reset to "normal" makes it possible to lose weight and keep it off. Of course, just like anyone with a normal metabolism we can gain weight back with poor food choices and amount. Point being....WLS corrects a broken metabolism

....that's not cosmetic. (If people are interested I can start a thread on the appropriate forum with links to the articles...they are very interesting...if a little dense)

[pinkladybug 2]

This is really sad. It sounds like your friend honestly doesn't have an understanding of the health issues you have. It also sounds like she might be a little bit jealous. As plenty of people have already said, just move on. You don't need the negativity.