Large Penis Posts

[BJean 16]

Carlene: Ever been jabbed way up high and screamed in pain? I had to explain to the first DH (size: EXL) that he has to back off a little because I just have a short wheel base to work with.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

My boyfriend who had the biggest of any I have ever seen in my experiences,

was a horrible lover. It just goes to show you that size doesn't count as much as technique. Not only that, he seemed to be unteachable. He is now living with his MOTHER!

[Louisianagirl 0]

If you go to www.funpartiesinc.com , you can order from them and they send your stuff in brown wrapping. You or anyone else can tell what is in there. It comes private. It is a local buisiness where I live. They have some really nice things....lol. If you know what I mean.

[marjon9 6]

Can anyone tell me where I can get one of those "Large Penis Posts"? And do you know how you attach it? Do you strap it on?

[green 6]

Quite some time ago I came across a Christian sex toys site. Their mission was to sell sex aids to Christian married couples. The site was, if I remember correctly, located in British Columbia, Canada.... They promised to ship their loot anonymously.

[princess_n_thep 2]

Okay okay, let's not kid ourselves ladies. Size DOES matter. The whole motion of the ocean line is crap. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter how you move. I once had a bigger guy as a boyfriend, big feet, big hands, broad shoulders, tall..... decided to test drive. I was horrified. I SWEAR it was no bigger or fatter than my index finger. I couldn't help it... I asked him what he thought I was supposed to do with that? I think I ruined him for life, never saw him again (thank goodness).

I think of a man's penis as the "stick shift to life". If it is tall and thin, your constantly throwing it into the wrong gear. If it is short and fat like a tuna can, you can never get ahold of the damn thing to change gears. If it is big and hunky, you can move it into pole position and gears and be in the Indianapolis 500 if you want!

On another note, I like the idea of abstinence until marriage.... but would I really buy a car without test driving it first?

Lady can't live on toys alone ya know.

Now, I think men can make the same arguments about women and their vaginas. The vagina is a muscle, if you don't exercise it, it doesn't get firmer and tighter. They say if you have seen one you have seen them all. Not true. There are some ugly mangy looking vaginas out there ladies. We have to do some work too. Especially after children you must do your exercises, can't blame it all on the guy. Also, I am a firm believer in the vaginal rejuvination for women. My friend (no, not me, actually a friend) did this after having 3 kids and gaining and losing weight back and forth, never doing Kiegel Exercises. WOWEEE the stories she tells, its like a magic surgery that gives you back your poofee rights I guess!

So let's talk real....

No man wants to go "down" on a woman that is mangy and hairy and the lips are flapping about. It is just not appealing, I don't care how much they say they love you.

No woman wants to go "down" on a man that you have to hold like a pencil and pucker like your kissing your grandma.

Bottom line is: There are tools out there. We use them for weight loss, why not use them in other places as well. If it is broke, FIX it.

[faithmd 14]

Can anyone tell me where I can get one of those "Large Penis Posts"? And do you know how you attach it? Do you strap it on?

First you glue it with a hot glue gun and wrap it with duct tape to assure it stays in place, then once it is set in position, you nail it with some ten penny nails. And voila! A Large Penis Post!

[green 6]

There is a plastic surgeon up here in Toronto who has built himself quite a reputation on his genital expertise. He says that he can make 'em longer and he can also rebuild a woman's equipment, too, including giving her back the physical aspect of viginity.:heh: It seems that he has a large clientele for this from those cultures where virginity is important.

[BJean 16]

My sister gave me a truly hilarious how-to book once. It gave you all kinds of ways you could reclaim your virginity. Wish I could remember the name of it. Princess something or other...

faith: Great method for making a large penis post. Better than trying to use the entire body. Too cumbersome.

princess: I bought a book once in the airport bookstore in Montreal. All about women, their va-jay-jays and how to use them. The author had made line drawnings of many women spread eagle. It was very interesting. I had no idea that there were so many varieties of them. Later in an art class, we painted a nude woman and sure enough I noticed that she was sporting one of the ones I saw in the book. Kinda looked like it had been road hard and put up wet, if you know what I mean. (Old expression cowboys use when looking at a about a worn out nag.) (nag = horse) You make a good case for personal grooming.

[Daisalana 33]

Loser & others: About the annonymous packaging, in the past when I ordered.. everywhere was annonymous, I think it's only fair.. who wants the neighbors seeing their sex logo on the box! But, since it's against the law, the companies themselves won't do it. They list on there when you check out 'Due to law blah blah we can not ship to:' and AL is on there.. there were other states too last I checked. So I can't put in my AL shipping address. Could send it to fiance's parents up in TN, but that could be akward lol!! If someone sends it (like faith) I don't think they'd crack down on it like they would drugs, or like they would the sex toy companies. Even if the sex toy companies don't get caught (which I'm thinking they wouldn't 99% of the time), they can't break the law on their end by accepting the AL shipping address. Luckily, I'm good for now. But in about 6 months I might be hurting!

[Carlene 12]

Also, I am a firm believer in the vaginal rejuvination for women. My friend (no, not me, actually a friend) did this after having 3 kids and gaining and losing weight back and forth, never doing Kiegel Exercises. WOWEEE the stories she tells, its like a magic surgery that gives you back your poofee rights I guess!

Sometimes I guess it's an extra, added bonus. I had an anterior/posterior plastic repair. That means I had plastic surgery on my sit-upon. It wasn't to "rejuvinate" my hoo-hoo, however. I had a droopy bladder and something wrong with my pelvic sling. I also had a vaginal hysterectomy at the same time.

My surgeon was a very distinguished, silver-haired gentleman. Very proper, and always the consumate professional. So I almost fell off the table at my post-op visit, when he was examining me (in the stirrups) and mentioned what a good job he had done, and how proud he was of the results. He beamed, "Now you've got a 19 year old twat."

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

That's hilarious!:biggrin1:

[lisalee 0]

I'm just peeking in on this thread and loving every post. Y'all are hilarious!

[DRIVER 0]

I have to say, you women are absolutly hilarious.As a man I wish the 10 pound issue was true as I need to loose 120 pounds, WOW a 12 incher added to what I already have, now that is a dream! I did not have a monster back when I was thin, and do not expect to get one back.

[green 6]

Sometimes I guess it's an extra, added bonus. I had an anterior/posterior plastic repair. That means I had plastic surgery on my sit-upon. It wasn't to "rejuvinate" my hoo-hoo, however. I had a droopy bladder and something wrong with my pelvic sling. I also had a vaginal hysterectomy at the same time.

My surgeon was a very distinguished, silver-haired gentleman. Very proper, and always the consumate professional. So I almost fell off the table at my post-op visit, when he was examining me (in the stirrups) and mentioned what a good job he had done, and how proud he was of the results. He beamed, "Now you've got a 19 year old twat."

:faint: ROTFLMAO Thanks for sharing this, Carlene.:clap2: Your story kind of reminds me of my mother's operation. She was a very slender person when she was young yet she had given birth to 3 enormous babies while she was in her 30s. I was the lightest and I clocked in at 9 and a quarter lbs. Eventually when she was in her 70s she had to have her insides hoisted up, the bladder in particular. She said that the wonderful result of that operation was that for months afterward everytime she sneezed she had an orgasm!:girl_hug: