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Who Are You Telling / Who Did You Tell?



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I think right now I'm just going to tell my parents and my husband. People are so judgey and I don't want to hear it. I think post-op if they ask questions, I will just say that I am following a calorie restrictive diet and working with a doctor.

Who are you telling? Did anyone react badly? Better than you expected?

I worry that it won't be a keep-able secret for long...

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I am playing my cards close and not telling many of the upcoming surgery. However, I dont really care what others think. This is my decision, not theirs. I want to feel more healthly and gain more energy. If others cant handle that, so be it.

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I told my husband, kids and my sister. That's it. I told everyone that I had hernia surgery. As people start noticing a change, I, too, was going to say I am following a high protein/low carb diet and exercising alot. I like the working with a doctor idea. I may add that. I feel the same way. Too many people judge and have opinions. It is only my business.

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I've told my family, friends, and boss. When I started the process I told a few close co workers that I was thinking about it and got their unwanted opinions. I just said "the doctor and I both agree that this will be a positive thing in my life an thank you for the unsolicited advice." I want people to know rather than worry about the drastic changes in my life, but I don't want to hear how it didn't work for someone they knew.

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I not only told my family, but also my FB friends and the people I volunteer with at the zoo. I found four friends that have had the surgery in the past, and nothing but well-wishes from everyone. I think my bf is the only one who had any negatives about the surgery (not the fact that I'm doing it, he supports that. He's very doctor-phobic though and he's terrified of hospitals, so he's a little negative because of that, but he's working hard to control it around me)

I think I got very lucky...the one friend I worried about receiving negative comments from (she's lost quite a substantial amount of weight via diet and exercise alone) said that she used to be against the surgery until a close friend had it and did so wonderfully. She saw the positive difference it made up close and personal, and said that she can definitely see the positive side of it now.

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I only told my parents, my boss and one close friend before the surgery. On surgery day, I "went public" on Facebook with it.

Post-op, I've been telling everyone who's expressed an interest in what I've been doing. I'm lucky that people have been either supportive or don't say anything at all. I also told a few at the fitness center I go to. Their words were kind, but their body language spoke otherwise. In all cases, I care little for what others think anyway. I was on a fast track to an early grave. I do, however, make a point to surround myself as much as possible with positive people these days. I never realized how much energy negativity saps out of you.

Be well…

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I was a low bmi so I only told family and a few close friends, only one friend from work. I didn't tell my boss or people from the office because I'd have to listen to a ton of "why don't you lose weight normally", "you're not THAT fat" etc. It's very hard to convince people that although I can lose weight, I can't keep it off and that the whole weight issue is messing with my head, let alone completely ruining my health and body.

It's so weird that people are so kind and receptive when you tell them you need a hernia repair, but are terribly judgmental if you talk about weight loss surgery. I mean, obesity is a disease and there are levels of trying to fight it (diet, exercise, restrictive eating, going to a dietitian etc and finally weightloss surgery) but people never understand when you reach the final stage and opt for surgery.

Though I have to say I couldn't care less. This surgery was one of the best things I did for myself, I returned to work after 14 days, and I broke my 3 week stall today(yay!) - so, no judgment is getting me down!

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I have not yet been approved and told some people. Mostly negative reaction because of lower BMI.... Same as you heard... You are not THAT fat, and the whole why not just exercise and eat right? response. I wish I had waited until at least I had been approved for surgery as now, if I don't have it, people will judge me harshly, thinking I had the surgery!

I wish everyone here the best regardless!!

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At first I was worried about what people would say, but I can honestly say, I have not had one person who has been negative about it, mostly because I have been able to answer all of their questions confidently, because I have done the research.

everyone has been happy for me, and vey supportive

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I think right now I'm just going to tell my parents and my husband. People are so judgey and I don't want to hear it. I think post-op if they ask questions, I will just say that I am following a calorie restrictive diet and working with a doctor.

Who are you telling? Did anyone react badly? Better than you expected?

I worry that it won't be a keep-able secret for long...

I have told everyone! I have struggled for so long i am dang proud! Its not their life so who cares what they think? I even tell strangers if they question. I just carry my before pic and then they understand. I have had alot of support but i know there are always gonna be negative nancy's. To them i say you live your life your way and i will live my way. Either support me or move out of my way cuz im only moving forward. Good luck to you

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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