2-year followup... humiliating

[Tenshi 34]

I had my two year follow-up with my surgeon this morning. My surgery was 1/23/12... I last saw him 1/31/13. It the 14 months or so since seeing him last, I have gained nearly 30-pounds.

I am discouraged, frustrated, humiliated, and entirely to blame for all of it.

I know what I'm doing wrong - I tend to graze, I eat carbs, I drink soda... pretty much everything I did before surgery.

I just want to put this out there to say that I know I've failed myself - and my surgeon and my sleeve - but I printed out the five day pouch test and am going to try to reset things and get back on track, utilizing this (very expensive) tool to the best of my ability.

Anyone else in a similar spot and need support?

[NMJG 1,266]

Tenshi, I feel for you. It's so easy to fall back, it is my greatest fear. Good luck to you, I wish you all the best getting back on track.

One suggestion I discovered by accident, if you go on just Protein shakes for 3 days, it helps bring back your restriction. Maybe try that to kickstart yourself?

[Tenshi 34]

NMJG,

I have done that once before and found that it really did work... although I went for the gold and did liquids again for a week. I think I will do the same this time, and then go into the pouch test rules and work back up. It's the only time I've ever felt "reset".

[BladeFox 235]

I know that you are going through a lot of pain and frustration with yourself and I hope that you can reset your pouch and your mind, but this is good to hear for us newbies. Just to know that you can go back to bad habits once you know how to do it is scary. I sometimes wonder why they even allow 'crackers' during the soft solid stage too. I went out to find some crackers that had low everything (carbs, cholesterol, fat, no sugar, calories, etc.) and tore that small bag apart within 3 days. That can't be good! It seems to set you up for failure early in the process. Even though I didn't gain any weight by doing that, I know what it is to begin the cycle of eating carbs is all about and I don't want that to happen to me after all that I have gone through.

Good luck and stay focused on you!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

A little regain is a fairly normal part of the process. I advise you to NOT beat yourself (that sounds like OLD destructive patterns!) and instead come up with an action plan (which you are doing) and just DO IT!

One of my eye openers over the last few years is that even skinny people have to work at weight management - especially after about age 40. You know what, they don't think they failed cuz they had a little bounce - they just do something about it!

Hang in there, think positive and stop the self loathing - you have not failed, you are simply needing a little tune up right now.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

At least you've admitted where you are and you're making steps to change what needs to be changed. Congrats on that!

Check in often so we can all witness your success!

Ginger

[Tenshi 34]

Thanks so much for the support, everyone. It means the world!

I am several hours into day one of liquids for the week. I felt pretty bad this morning when I woke up, and it has gradually gotten worse. I'm having stomach cramps and other gastrointestinal pains. I'm wondering if I'm lactose intolerant - I got skim milk for doing my shakes and things, but I had been drinking soy for years. But, I think soy makes Protein shakes taste even more "off" from real food than what they do normally, so I got a gallon of Skim.

Let's just say that my office mates are NOT going to be happy with the state of my intestines today.