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HELP! HELP! Not doing well with weight loss..



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Dear fellow sleevers.... I had Surgery on Feb 4th. I have lost 15 to 18lbs.. This is where I teeter.... up one day, down two the next day. I'm watching the Water intake, and the Protein count. I seem to be always hungry... I grab cottage cheese and carrots...i'm always trying to grab something to keep the hunger away....... Maybe some of you can give me some ideas.. I did see the Nut... and started keeping a journal. But the days get busy, and hard to keep up. You see i'm a caretaker for my Husband... who has Alzheimer's. I have to feed him, and he seems to be eating all the time. NO, I do not touch his snakes, but I always make sure he has them, so he does not have me getting things for him. It has been very hard..... I do not get alot of movement to burn cal.. I'm loaded with arthritis. I do walk two dogs twice a day, and what ever I do around the house. I'm going to start a thi-chi class. I have done that before, and I loved it..I also ordered the SPIN GYM... which is for working out the upper body, right from a chair.. So if any of you can help, or give some ideas.. Like what to start the day with, so not to be HUNGRY all the time. Thank you my friends..... JewelJ

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Jewel, I'm sorry to hear that you're having trouble ....it is always difficult to have a weight loss journey while attempting to care for someone else ....for a lot of people this journey is about getting healthy and putting ourselves first.. You unfortunately do not have that luxury if your husband is unwell ....it will make it more difficult to meet the nutrition goals that you have.

One of the most important things in this journey is to have a strong support system ...try to find people that will help you help your husband so that you can focus on your self. ....If you went through the challenge and pain of going through surgery it is important that you stay committed to the in the goal...... I recognize that your husband is also a large priority but you will have to carve out time to prioritize your self.

One of the best ways to start focusing on your weight-loss is to go back to square one with the foods that helped you start losing in the first place ....soft foods, lean Proteins, sugar-free Snacks.... If your lifestyle does not accommodate a great deal of exercise be sure to find ways to situate your husband so that you can do some exercise while remaining in your home.... this is going to be very important for your well-being as well as his well-being.

My final word of advice is Water, Water, water ....if you can meet your water goals you will recognize a big difference in your mobility and your ability to cope with caring for your husband and caring for yourself .....please continue to reach out to this group.... we are all finding ways to cope with various different situations at home. Although you may feel alone, know that you are not alone.... many wives or spouses or partners are primary caregivers for an unwell mate....know that we care about you we want to support you on your journey and most importantly we want you to succeed both with your weight loss and with your husband....take care.

Sheldon

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Dear Sheldon, I want to thank you for such a BEAUTIFUL post to me. I felt your CARE and CONCERN all through it. I was thinking the same as you... Go back to the beginning....I think will will start tomorrow morn... It is Easter today and I made a POT ROAST in the pressure cooker for my Family. Husband and two Sons. At noon I had a tossed salad, and for some reason feeling so full from the salad I could not eat dinner with them.. So i'm just going to drink Water the rest of the evening. I seem to have a "bad cough"... but not feeling bad. It is very hard with all I have to do. I take care of the whole house, my son works.. and one is away at college. I pay the bills, set up appts. and med's.. Also i'm the only Driver in the house at this time. My older Son's car is in repair, so i'm driving him back and fourth to work. I'm looking into T'ai Chi to go once a week. I have done it before and loved it. I know it is important to have time to my self. My husband is SUNDOWNING now meaning he gets more confused as the day goes on. About twice a week he get's up in the middle of the night to shower and shave for a place he has to go two days later. So i'm up with him in the middle of the night trying to explain why everyone else is sleeping. So I can also feel the loss of sleep. My husband will prob in a VA nursing home in the next 12 months.. He has been approved already, but I would like to keep him home as long as I can. He served 34 years in the Military, and this is our retirement. It is very Sad. However no one knows more than me, that I have to take care of me, for me and him. I did not have someone CUT INTO MY STOMACH for nothing. I have to make this work. I have not been on in a long time, due to changing servers and computer problems.. but I will check in as often as I can for good ideas and to let you know how i'm doing. I thank you my friend.. It meant a lot to me. Jewelj

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Wow, Jewell, you are an amazingly strong and determined caregiver. I was also sleeved on 2/4.

I just want to encourage you to stay where you are in prioritizing time for yourself in your current life that requires so much from you for everyone else. You are right, you need to take care of you first in order to care for everyone else. It sounds like a very sad and challenging time for your family with your husband's illness. I appreciate your need to do all you can to be there for him and see him through as long as you can...what a lucky man to have such a dedicated wife.

I also believe that our psychology effects our weight loss and body's response to the physical changes. I noticed you said you felt full from the salad, are you still eating your Protein first? I am a slow loser as well, I've lost about 20 pounds since surgery and this is with regular workouts, strict adherence to dietary requirements, and even logging everything into a food journal. I've reached a point that I really honestly don't care anymore about the numbers. I see lots of evidence of a healthier and better lifestyle emerging. I encourage you to keep things simple in all ways possible as your life is pretty demanding right now in ways you can't control.

I do these things, they work for me... if it sounds like bits and pieces that might work for you great... if not, no harm sharing.

I always start my day with a Protein shake (I use zero carb from GNC/Vitamin store), I mix with with vanilla almond milk and thus start my day with 20 oz of fluids, 50 grams of Protein, and a good nutritional boost. I just won't let myself have anything else until I am done with the shake. I don't love it or hate it, so it takes me a good while to finish it and I feel full all morning long. When my shake is done, I pour a glass of Water (calorie free fluids) and focus on finishing before moving on to any real food.< /p>

Lunch(ish) is always 2-3 ounces of some protein and a vegetable (I will make turkey meatballs/meatloaf on sunday and portion freeze for week, or sometimes a turkey chili things that make the rest of my busy week easier). I always finish my protein and just barely get to the vegetable.

I think the key for you is going to be planning out your week so you don't just eat throughout the day in a reactive way to how your day goes. Here are some ideas of things you can make ahead and then have ready for quick healthy meals during the week:

hard boiled eggs (I've done deviled too just to keep it yummy and fun)

meatballs (I make them with ground chx/turkey...email me if you want some of my recipes)

chicken breast/strips (easy to prepare ahead and portion out keeps well for days, and can freeze for later)

seasoned hamburger patties (I make them about 4oz before cooking, they cook down perfect for me)

lean pork chops

Quick to cook Proteins (but don't keep as well): shrimp and fish

I buy the small vegetable portions, frozen steamables as side dishes that are quick and easy for myself. I usually serve half and save half for next meal (I never even finish the half because I eat the protein first.

As for dinner, well I cook for my family and plan those meals for the week too. I have noticed I sabotage myself "tasting" things and enjoying the cooking process and often can't eat cause I feel full and mostly, i didn't focus on protein! What I noticed is it leads to me eating as soon as the fullness goes away (more like snacking). I just don't do that when I force myself to eat protein first! By eating protein first I seem just full and satisfied for much longer. I always pour a drink when I am done eating. I force myself to drink a full glass between meals. Yes, I will wait 30 minutes typically, but mostly I just naturally wait because I am too full to want to drink. By pouring it though, I know I have to have it before food is even a thought.

I agree... Water, water, water! Or whatever fluids work for you.

Lastly, move around... exercise is important for your psychological health and feeling good. I HIGHLY recommend you do what feels good and you enjoy whatever that is. Put music on and clean/dance have fun everyday. Do whatever you need to do to make sure it isn't a chore! I even turn the music on in my car and do a lot of dancing in my seat :). Just tensing and flexing, and using your body even in the car is fun, feels good, and get your blood pumping. You need some feel good outlets in your world right now!

I wish you the best and hope that you are able to carve out some time for yourself to just feel good and enjoy this process of transformation regardless of how fast or slow it passes.

Take care of yourself and please keep us posted. I would love to Celebrate your successes with you. Keep coming back here for support and know that you are not alone in this. HUGS

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Hi Jewel -- I'm not caring for my spouse, but I have six kids, four of them are age four and under, and they similarly require lots of hands-on care and many Snacks I'm 4 1/2 months post-op, and down 70 pounds. What has worked for me thus far is scheduling meals and measuring/weighing portions. I eat 5 times a day: at 9AM, noon, 3PM, 6PM, and 9PM. I go to bed between 11PM and midnight, so if it works for me to go to bed earlier, I drop that 9PM snack as I am not supposed to eat within 2 hours of bedtime.

The most challenging thing for me during this journey has been the head hunger. I'm used to snacking with my kids, or finishing their plates, or eating when they eat, which with so many is all the time. Having scheduled times to eat and measuring my portions really helps keep me in check, because then I can tell myself I am not really hungry, I've had an appropriate portion, and I can eat again soon. After doing this for a while, there I have been times I've gotten to my appointed meal/snack time and realized I wasn't legitimately hungry, and found such relief! I generally still will have a very tiny snack if I'm not super hungry just so I'm not mentally famished an hour later. Maybe a few almonds or a cheese stick, etc. I otherwise follow doctors orders by having 2-3oz dense Protein plus 1oz veggie at mealtimes, or no more than 1/2c food in a serving (so 1/4c cottage cheese and 1/4 diced light peaches as a snack).

Best of luck to you!

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Dear Tamosy, i THANK YOU for such kind words and Understanding... Where would I find your email? You have Great Ideas...... I woke up sick this morning with very bad Cough... Slept till 12 noon, Had some lemon Tea and Protein.. Now I have to shower, take college age son to a Dr visit, than return him to College in Pa... It will be a Late night.. This is prob. why i'm Sick, too much running..... thanks Jewelj.....my email is

biddiemom12@verizon.net Take care my Friend....

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Dear Tamosy, i THANK YOU for such kind words and Understanding... Where would I find your email? You have Great Ideas...... I woke up sick this morning with very bad Cough... Slept till 12 noon, Had some lemon Tea and Protein.. Now I have to shower, take college age son to a Dr visit, than return him to College in Pa... It will be a Late night.. This is prob. why i'm Sick, too much running..... thanks Jewelj.....my email is biddiemom12@verizon.net Take care my Friend....

Hi Jewel, oh dear you have so much on your plate. You have received some wonderful advice from others! The only thing I can add (actually reiterate) is to take care of yourself first. It's like they say on an airplane - put on your own oxygen mask before you help others because if you can't breathe you won't be there to help the others.

Please, please, please make your own health a priority. As Tamosy said, always eat your Protein first. It's the only thing that can give you the strength you need to make it through.

Take care of yourself friend.

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Dense Proteins at each meal and limit yourself to 3 meals a day- no Snacks. Take 20-30 mins for each meal to take small bites and chew like crazy. Cottage cheese is packed with a ton of Protein but it will not stay in your stomach as long as a dense Protein like chicken or fish will. The longer it stays in your stomach, the more full you will feel. Drink at least 64 oz of Water a day as well. If you're not well hydrated, things inside slow down!

Good luck!

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Jewel, I'm exactly the same as you, but without the added stress of caring for a sick husband. I was sleeved 2/3 and have lost about 22ish lbs. I follow all the rules. I tried increasing Water and dense Protein, I exercise everyday. I think I'm just a very slow looser, always have been. I'm going to keep an eye on the comment here to see if anything new comes up that I can try. Good luck!

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Jewel, I'm exactly the same as you, but without the added stress of caring for a sick husband. I was sleeved 2/3 and have lost about 22ish lbs. I follow all the rules. I tried increasing Water and dense Protein, I exercise everyday. I think I'm just a very slow looser, always have been. I'm going to keep an eye on the comment here to see if anything new comes up that I can try. Good luck!

I am sorry you are having this problem too. I knew it was something I had to work on, but I thought in the beginning it would come off a little easier.... If it is this hard now, how will it be in 8 months or a year.. All I know is that I am getting Protein in, to stop the hunger... and forcing the water...hoping to get it under control. I did not go through someone cutting me open to FAIL.... I got to work at it harder and put some time in for me to have time alone and with movement.. so I'm going to Tai' chi.... i HAVE done it before.. and it does make you feel good. I'm also starting ACUPUNCTURE in May. I checked and my Ins will cover it.. I see we are around the same weight? Only i'm taller than you... Please keep me posted , and I will for you as well. We have to help each other....Thanks so much... JewelJ

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