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Learning by doing



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When I started the band process in September last year, I didn't know how much work it would be on my part. I just knew it was the least invasive of the three surgeries. As I went through the pre-op protocol and was told to change my snacking habits or else the psychologist wouldn't clear me for surgery, I got really ticked off. How dare he? Well, I turned the anger into action. When I did that (gave up tv eating) I then understood why he said that. It required discipline! Of course, if I wouldn't stop tv snacking every night, I wasn't going to have success with a band. I didn't know that but he did. I guess I thought everything would just magically change for me without any pain on my part.

Once I changed that snacking habit, I began to believe what they all kept saying, which was that this process was only going to be as successful as the effort I put into it.

I had the same negative instant reaction to the post-op liquid diet. When the surgeon told me it was six weeks, not four weeks, of post-op liquids, I was mad and aggravated. When he further told me to reduce my post-op calories from 1000 to 800, I again got mad and wanted to rebel. When the nurse coordinator told me I had to walk a treadmill every day starting one day post-op and build up to a 2-mile walk every day, I nearly croaked.

I think on some level I expected to treat these like suggestions, or guidelines, that were great for other people, but no biggie if I chose not to do them. After all, I'm special, you know. I have arthritis. I'm really fat and I get out of breath. I have hunger issues. I really like food. I'm not in this for the beauty or vanity aspects, just for health reasons, so there's no problem if my weight loss takes a little longer.

But instead of giving in to those excuses about my uniqueness (!), I followed all of the rules. Only by following them did my understanding of how this works transform from theory into understanding and acceptance. Sure, I read the book, I researched all this, I "knew" all these things back in September, six months before I was banded. But I didn't really learn them until I did them. I have experiential knowledge of these things now. I feel better because I exercise. That one blows my mind. My knees still hurt, but I feel BETTER when I exercise. Sweating and panting do not destroy me. I walked in the forest preserve with my college-age daughter yesterday and she told me I hit my target heart rate. Huh? She said we were walking and talking, and I was slightly out of breath the whole time, but able to carry on a conversation, so that meant I was exercising at a good pace . For an hour. Amazing. Six months ago, heck, four months ago, I never got off the couch.

Eating differently is huge. I'm on liquids for 5 more days and then I finally move to regular foods. I'm dreaming constantly of what I'll eat. I want steak, I want lobster, I want three Jimmy John's sandwiches in one sitting. I want, I want, I want. What I will do instead is make a scrambled egg on Thursday morning and I'll probably be in heaven. Then I'll probably have a Protein shake at work for lunch because dinner will be at a restaurant with my friend before our exercise class. I'll probably have a few bites of some meat or fish and a veggie. Not three Jimmy John's sandwiches. Not a ribeye. Not a burger.

The next phase is what some people call bandster hell. I'll get a first fill, but have to keep a good eating discipline while the months go by and I work toward the correct number of fills for my green zone. I WANT to wolf three Jimmy John's sandwiches, but I WILL practice eating slowly and chewing thoroughly and keeping portions small. I won't drink while eating. This will all be new behavior because I haven't chewed in 7 weeks, have only consumed liquids so far, and haven't slowed myself down too well yet. It will be my next big challenge.

Thank you, people of this board, who post your experiences and teach me how living as a bander works and doesn't work. And that's how I approach all of this. What works and what doesn't work. My actions for 52 years didn't work. This year that all changes, because I'm following the directions for what does work. It gets a little easier every day.

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Thank you for sharing that story it sounds similar to mine. I am really struggling right now with bandster hell. I just seem to be eating way to much daily and at this point nothing has made me sick. I have to remember that right now this is a diet to still until I get the fills I need. I never wanted to be on a diet again...well thanks again for sharing and keeping other people inspired.

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it is hard when there is really no restrictions like it is as we first start off...but soon I hope that we all get there and we are all in the green zone really soon!!! thank you justwatchme...well said!!! :)

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Ribeye might be problematic but tenderloin chews up nicely and passes the stoma easily for me. I miss my occasional 12" Subway turkey on whole wheat with the works on it. I tried a six incher and no way. Too much bread.

Mexican food is the easiest for me to consume if we're going out for dinner and I feel like a little calorie cheating. Chinese not so much. Italian is hit and miss, mostly miss. Seafood is by far the easiest to eat.

LOL...For you, this will be like getting married and waiting 6 weeks to consummate the marriage :blush: What do they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? You have my total respect as I don't think I could have done what you've done. Kudos :)

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Tmf, yes that's a good analogy! You cracked me up. Yes, you could have done this. Most of us can do anything for a finite amount of time. Once, anyway. One of my biggest fears is a band slip or unfill and having to start again. That's enough to keep me on track right there. Once I get my food, it's gonna take a heck of a lot to wring it from my grasp. Oh, and don't misunderstand my ribeye comment. I will have steak again. Just not on day one, and it will probably be divided into three or four meals. Thanks for the kind words from everyone. It means a lot.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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