My main concern about wls is how bad I am going to miss foods, like fatty, sugary stuff. Plus eating copious amounts. It has become my safe place.

If you are not ready to make a fundamental change with your relationship with food and begin to get to the heart of why you abuse food, then I would suggest you wait until you are ready to do so. WLS is not an easy path on so many levels.

Would you encourage someone to have a baby who wasn't ready? Sure, young parents can stumble through, but do you really think that is best?

I still eat good food. I still eat a cheeseburger with no bread though I eat a little bit of fries here and there. I just don't drink soda & you know what I don't miss it. I still eat sugar but SF or no sugar added. no regrets I love my sleeve

Join the club You won't find many here who didn't also have the same fears. But, it's like any other fear, once I took that step it was no longer a fear, just a silly memory of how pathetic my life had become to rely on food for support. HA!

I read this from another forum member years ago:

"In my case, the most fearful thing I had to do in order to succeed with my band wasn't switching to skim milk, surviving a liquid diet, or giving up bread. The most fearful thing was giving up my emotional attachment to food. In the nearly 5 years since I was banded, I've made a lot of progress with that, but the attachment is still there. It forms one of the innermost layers of my turtle shell. Working on that layer will probably be a lifetime job for me. At times I'm not even sure I truly want to get rid of it altogether. At times I'm afraid that if I shed my shell completely, I won't be able to survive. On the other hand, I seem to be doing fine without that thick old bitch layer. So I'm going to pay attention to my dreams rather than my fears and pray for a miracle. And why not? It can't hurt to try!"

My doctor really encouraged me to work with a counselor - especially post op. I am embracing this idea whole heartedly because I know that food is also my comforter. It's what has comforted me and held me back all at the same time. Loosing weight is just part of the battle. Peace!

I knew I wanted the surgery. And I do not think all of us are completely 100% prepared for all the changes with food, cravings, etc. I do know that it becomes alot easier to work with after the surgery.

Go to support groups, work with a nutritionist, counselor.. what ever is a good support for you.

I still have desires of things that I miss, but not near as much as I did before the surgery.. It does get better.. Good Luck!

Edited April 15, 201412 yr by Aileen-March 2014 Sleeved

Maybe right now in your life you aren't ready for WLS. I will tell you this about my own journey: It feels so liberating to no longer be a slave to food. I approach eating in a whole new way. It feels like I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I also no longer feel like I have a fog surrounding me. I am clear headed, happy, and have huge amounts of energy. I walk to work, I run 5k's on the regular, I keep dropping clothing sizes, and not a day or two goes by that I don't get compliments from friends and co-workers. NO bottle of pop or fried chicken or buffet has ever done that for me. Best of luck!!!

Edited April 20, 201412 yr by trever

I feel ya. I had the same misgiving but knew I had to do something. I've been banded for four days now and the outcome so far out weights the thought of missing my favorite foods.

I came to the realization that being banded isn't a magic bullet and I will have to do the work but, the band will help me stay accountable to my commitment. It will be ever present and provide adverse consequences for overdoing it by crossing the food relationship boundary.

A friend of mine corrected my thinking that food is an addiction...Its a life sustaining necessity. As with any relationship there should be boundaries. My boundaries were obscured by the food relationship I had established. I allowed it to become more than a way of sustaining life. It became my comforter and coping mechanism to deal with other issue of life. And the journey begins.....

It is a real fear especially when it has been a part of your entire life…as it was for me.

I had lap band w/plication surgery and it was the most difficult decision I've ever made. Obviously the fear of losing my dear friend "crap food" and the risk of complications from the surgery. But I stuck by my decision and I have not regretted it once. I still eat ALL foods, just in lesser quantities. I choose not to eat so much bread anymore…and I don't crave it either. If there is something I want, even something "not so healthy" I have a bite or a little bit of whatever it is…enjoy it and move on…and try to move a little more too.

I am no longer in deprivation mode which i was always in thru dieting. I no longer need the crap food i used to rely on so heavily. I am no longer controlled by food. I don't need to live to eat…I now eat to live.

Am I perfect….absolutely NOT…am I living….absolutely YES….am I succeeding…absolutely YES…and am I happier and healthier than I have been in years….ABSOLUTELY YES!

Wishing you much success on whatever decision you make!

what i really miss is being able to numb myself out with food. but i am learning to cope with life without food. i have good days and not so good days. its a learning process, but i do feel like i had a serious head start not just because of previous therapy, but already eating a whole foods diet. i highly recommend therapy and learning various ways of relaxing and managing stress without drugs. a huge dose of vigorous self honesty is really helpful too.

My main concern about wls is how bad I am going to miss foods, like fatty, sugary stuff. Plus eating copious amounts. It has become my safe place.

Hi all,

I agree with all of what has been said. I think not to have fear would be abnormal and much more of a concern. Its a big life changing decision to have wls which only you can decide if your ready to make this step. I've had counselling for quite some time working through my past and food addiction until I knew I was ready. I had my date and as my surgery approached I started to question if I was doing the right thing. For me I knew deep down I had to go through with surgery as I'm unable to reach a healthy weight and my health was suffering. I knew if I didn't go through with wls my diabetes and other health issues would only get worse and I'd be heading to an early unnecessary young death. As I prepared myself for surgery I told myself I need to learn to eat to live not live to eat as another member said.

Fear is normal, but make sure you've had support and feel ready for a tool to help you change your eating habits. I made many changes prior to surgery to make post op easier. I'm only 2 weeks post op but know I've made the right choice. I'm not finding it easy but I was under no illusion this would be easy. Life's worth fighting for and I'm giving it my best shot.

Do what's right for you. Take care, Gemma

Don't be afraid. It's a wonderful life change that you will appreciate and definitely get used to. After the surgery if you have a mental craving you should satisfy your palate, but you'll realize it was just a craving. After a taste of what you want you'll be full and the desire for that food will pass. Look forward to you new life change. Enjoy!!!

My main concern about wls is how bad I am going to miss foods, like fatty, sugary stuff. Plus eating copious amounts. It has become my safe place.

Hi!

I see lots of people here can relate to what you're sharing.

My surgeon told me I would be able to eat what I wanted to eat, but just not in the beginniing. It's important to heal and to learn how to use the band.

One thing I learned, was to not be afraid of being hungry. What a realization that was!! It came about during those first few weeks right after surgery. I was on a clear liquid diet and my body was in a sort of shock. It's hard to describe and I'm sure everyone's experience is unique to them...

But you may be surprized as you see the weight coming off and your energy rising how very invested you are with getting healthy and in shape!

For me, the safe refuge of food has not disappeared. I have to remind myself many times a day, every day, what I truly want.

I found it a relief to not be able to eat a ton of food while I had the band. Thank goodness! Before being banded, I had felt so out of control at times eating everything in sight, and to not be physically able to do that anymore was a comfort. Though there was a bit of shame that I was not controlling that myself, that I had to use an implant to put a stop to it.

When I think back, I never felt very good after eating all the food I wanted. It always seemed like it would make me happy...but, in reality it didn't.

I hope you can relate to what I'm saying, or maybe it will stir something up inside you that may provide some comfort and reassurance.

It's good to hear you're aware of how you feel. That's great!

I think you will learn a lot as you go. Keep listening to your body as you shrink and blossom.

and don't expect perfection

We're all just doing the best we can do, moment to moment.

Be open to surprising yourself! Gosh, what if you found the little bit of food you eat so delicious and satisfying that you don't even think of wanting more? For me, part of what was satisfying was seeing the weight come off while eating 3 meals a day! My excitement grew and fueled my motivation to keep it up.

Best wishes to you!

~hiddn

Totally normal to be fearful.

The thing is, part of why WLS is effective is it affects your brain and your stomach. You can't know this before you do it, and it is very hard to imagine. (Like becoming a first-time parent, as a previous poster states.)

Your appetite is turned way way down, similar to what happens when you have the flu (but of course you don't feel yucky with WLS, just not hungry) so really, you brain won't seek food like it did prior to WLS.

So while it is really normal to have this fear prior to surgery, trust that the surgery will give you the peaceful mental state of not even wanting to use food for something other than it was intended....fuel for your body, not an escape for your mind.

My main concern about wls is how bad I am going to miss foods, like fatty, sugary stuff. Plus eating copious amounts. It has become my safe place.

instead of focusing on what you (miss) when in reality, when one gets past all the woe is me, i am starving, i cant this and i cant that, ONE finds (*with any WLS*), you can still eat and still enjoy foods....its not about dieting my dear...its changing from eating crap foods to better foods.....

instead of focusing on the (so called safe place)......how about focusing on wearing smaller and sexier clothes....better health, better mobility, a better quality of life and the real aspects of having WLS

you need to learn to eat to live and no longer live to eat..

I'm really glad I went to a therapist last summer while I was researching and going through the process leading up to surgery. It's not like I hadn't worked on all of these issues before (I'm 52), but since I was making such a major decision it really was so different. Some one mentioned the huge dose of honesty. I had to admit that I was unable to lose the weight without surgery. I had to give in to the weakness and that made me so strong, the choosing myself and my health first and realizing there was something out there to help me and, dammit, I was going to see it through to absolute success. The counsellor I worked with helped me identify my triggers and we really broke it down. It felt tedious but I'm glad I did it. There were so many ways I used food to prep myself for something or as a reward or to tamp down feelings. I journal a lot and that was helpful. Being aware of the extent of the triggers and my habitual reactions to them got me into such a new place with all of that. And you know what, the food as a salve didn't really work anyway. I'd just need more. I am so happy to have the appetite monster off of my back and that chatter turned off. That's what it feels like, like my brain and body are synced up again. I've forgiven the past betrayals and feel like I can love myself again.