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Should i tell my bf?



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Martha I will be praying for your specific's dearheart, sorry there is so many issues you are having to face right now. God bless.

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thanku mikee...i am praying for u to have a great day.u r a real believer i see how many people u respond to here.i'ts ur ministyr i think!

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He indeed has given me a mission!!! :)

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mikee i am concerned about whether or not i cn afford hte Protein Powder and pops and broth an d Decaf tea etc...i am on disabilty and reecently had my foodstamps cut alot...plz pray God will provide?thanks,martha

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I was just banded on Friday. I'm a very private person. I considered not telling anyone, but ultimately decided to tell my immediate family and my boyfriend. I only told my immediate family because I needed help tacking down medical records for insurance approval. My boyfriend and I live together, so I really had no choice in telling him. I told him that if we didn't live together I probably would have hidden the surgery from him too. He ended up being very supportive. He drove me to the hospital at 5:30 am and was the first one to see me after surgery . He got me ice chips and karate chopped my shoulder for days when the gas pains were excruciating.

I still have no intention of telling casual friends or coworkers, because ultimately it's my body, my decision and I just don't want their scrutiny or input. But I'm really glad my boyfriend is there for me.

In retrospect, I would not have been able to hide the surgery from him without fabricating ban elaborate lie, because I've got four incision, lots of bruising and a radically modified diet now.

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congrats r due...first for ur courage to have t he operation and then for ur guts in telling ur family and boyfriend.i knew he was a good guy!thaank GOD!!!!!!!! sorry for th epainfulgas.

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Martha - You mentioned the cost. You will notice that you are going to eat dramatically less than you did before surgery. There are even some ads on this site that mention that you get Protein shakes through your insurance company. I'm not sure if you would qualify for that, but I would check. I'm also not sure if you do shopping only for yourself or for others in your family.

Walmart has Protein Shakes and you can get a tub of powdered Protein for not much at all, they have different flavors. Also as far as the broth goes, if you go to the grocery store, you could probably get supermarket brand broth. I eat WAY less than I did before surgery. My portion of the grocery bill has gone down considerably. My thinking is that you may have to shop around, but I would bet that your grocery bill goes down for yourself. I do eat better than I did before surgery, but less.

I hope that this helps your anxiety. I know that there's a lot of people struggling out there and I hope that this will make you feel a little at ease.

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jamilynne and mikee:thanks alot.guess what?God always helps me---myfriend ,Mike just sent me $100 i nthe mail!!!!!for the Protein powder
(iam stocking up ahead of time!
)

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@@Lili14 it's your body and your decision whether you want to tell anyone. That said, in my personal view and opinion if you are serious enough in a relationship you really should tell your significant other of things such as this. It's not a small thing and a part of any good relationship is being open and honest about anything important. I wouldn't dream of not telling my husband about such an important life change.

Good luck.

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Martha that was surely very sweet of your friend Mike to help you out...see prayers do work!!! :)

Jamilyne and thanks you also for your suggestions for Martha as well!!! :D

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Lili14 congrats on your surgery and becoming one of us banders...and congrats on letting your honey know what was happening...outside of the folks on here not too many know that I have had lap band surgery either...so understand!!! keep us informed on how things are progressing and let us know if you need anything okay? best wishes that you have a smooth transition!!! :)

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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