Boy did I mess up *sigh*

[DeniseNCC1701 306]

I thought I'd just put my thoughts out here to keep myself accountable and aware:

They can remove a big part of my stomach, but the demons are still in my head. I'm almost 5 weeks post-op, and Friday I stopped at the market and found myself purchasing (and later eating) two pieces of fried chicken and a Cadbury Creme egg. Yesterday I found myself grazing all day on Peanut Butter, cottage cheese and cheese slices. I've reeled myself in, at the expense what might be a 2 pound gain for the week. And I'm supposed to be on pureed foods on top of it all. What was I thinking?

I've logged everything into MyFitnessPal to stay accountable. I've thrown out the cheeses. I guess what's happening is that things are starting to "return to normal" for me, and the old habits are rearing their ugly heads. I have to admit that the power of these old habits is taking me by surprise, and it's unnerving!

I'm feeling very disappointed in myself.

[Texasmeg 568]

First off, congrats on your weight loss to date! Don't beat yourself up - that is always counterproductive for us (but also hard to stop).

How did the chicken and Cadbury egg make you feel (physically) since you are on soft foods. I'm worried about your health - I would hate to see you doing damage to your sleeve and ending up in the hospital. Many of us make mistakes and eat things we shouldn't, but if your compulsions are so strong that they might cause you harm, you may want to see a therapist.

Take care of yourself & let us know how you are doing.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Did you feel no ill effects from the chicken and the creme egg?

For what it's worth, you know what you've done, you know you shouldn't have. Now stop beating yourself up and move on.

I know its hard. Hell, I ate half a Maccy D's cheeseburger at about 6 weeks. We all do it. The head game is indeed a real biatch to try and beat.

Deep breath, head down and attack this thing!

Don't wallow - it'll only make it worse.

Just remember, you're not alone

[DeniseNCC1701 306]

Oh, I felt the effects of the foods, definitely! I ate the first piece, and could not fit any more. I was uncomfortable, felt and heard all sorts of grumblings as my tummy protested. Yet about an hour later, I went back for the second piece! *sigh* The Cadbury egg went down easier, but you know, I didn't enjoy it at all. I didn't enjoy any of it, actually.

Physically, I feel OK today, and my eating is back on track. I might take a couple days and go back to the basics of Clear liquids with Protein shakes.

I am seeing a therapist... have an appointment tomorrow night, actually. This is something I'll need to work on!

[MichiganChic 3,262]

This is how we learn. We make mistakes, we own up to them, we make a decision to do better, then we DO better. Tracking is an excellent way to force yourself to acknowledge what you are doing. I've learned over time that tracking will keep me from derailing too far. By the time I eat something I shouldn't, and then log it, the desire to continue down that path usually subsides. Seeing it in print is usually enough to remind me to stop! Cut yourself some slack for having done that, and pat yourself on the back for making a decision to do better.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Glad you did not get sick. The stories I have read scare me with the fried food and sweets. I just spent one night in the hospital after 8 hours of continuous vomiting (took strong meds on an empty stomach - 4 am and travelling by car, must have been half asleep). Totally dehydrated and so sick. I hate vomiting.

[goalof220 4]

Stay focused. I have been and probably will do in the future go back and forth with my discipline. I give you props for recognizing and holding your self accountable, cuz that takes character. And I can tell u want to keep doing the right thing and you will. We all fall but we have to back up and keep going forward. Congrats on your weight loss and keep focused.

[SandeeD 363]

I'm feeling kind of jealous. I'm 5 weeks out and most foods still feel uncomfortable going down. I'm too scared to eat anything that resembles sugar. It's kind of depressing. Don't beat yourself up too much, you'll get back on track. We can't always be perfect in our choices.

[beeteroo 166]

You took a huge step when you came here to post your slip up! You got back on track and are going to see a therapist! Great job. I hope I'm disciplined enough to recognize my screw ups and get back on track like you did.

[Texasmeg 568]

It sounds like you are on the right track and I look forward to hearing about your continued success.

[Sassy Pants1 186]

I think, at some point, we all fall off the wagon and push the envelope. What counts is that we get back on track and try to do better.

[PGee 318]

Madam R. said it all best, especially "you're not alone".....I'm much further out and still deal with my demons.......the surgery doesn't fix what's going on in our heads (at least mine didn't LOL) Good for you for being proactive about it!

[DeniseNCC1701 306]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the support!

I weighed in this morning, and no loss this past week, but no gain.

Moving on...

[mommyof3sweetboys 67]

I can see how as the weeks go by it would be so easy to "forget" our tummies are not the same and try to do something the old us would do. I am three weeks today......last night, I was starving!!!! All I could think about was going out to eat and having a salad and a piece of grilled chicken. Healthy choices.....but not allowed for a 3 weeker

The mental part of all this is so much more than I could have ever imagined. No regrets!

[DeniseNCC1701 306]

Hi everyone, just a quick follow-up: One week later, and I am down 5 lbs. I had a decent week and was able to get back on track. I appreciate all the support!

Be well…