I need a hand up

[NICU-RN 31]

I just returned from my 2 month post-op check. I was so disappointed. First, I was scheduled with a different doctor than did my surgery and no explanation was given. Unless an emergency, we are supposed to see our own doctors. Second, I was not given any information about my Protein, Vitamin or mineral status even though I had a huge amount of blood drawn for labs two weeks before the appointment as directed. Third, I am having and have had since surgery constant nausea such that I can only manage to get down 3 Protein shakes a day and some Water, unable to tolerate any pureed or solid foods. Fourth, the doctor did not mention anything about the rate of weight loss I am having - I don't know if I am on target, slow or fast. I am a nurse and know how to question doctors, however this blew me away as he stood over me the entire time, looking at the door waiting to escape. Anytime I attempted to say something, he interrupted me with something about the nausea - that is the only thing he heard me say and the only thing he addressed. I am scheduled for an EGD on Friday to hopefully figure out if there is a reason for the nausea.

Just need to know that someone cares. Anyone out there?

[Schmincke 118]

All I can say is... Wow...

[Dr-Patient 831]

Who is the senior physician, or the surgeon who operated on you? Instead of calling (thru which you might also get rushed), write the senior doctor an actual thorough but succinct letter and expound on all the issues. Let your upsetment, frustration, disappointment, displeasure come though.

Health care delivery is horrible these days, so, as a patient, you sometimes have to assert yourself to get the care/attention a patient should have. Sometimes you even have to (show your behind a bit) to get their attention. But start with a solid, strong letter to the head hauncho.

(PS: off topic: I tried on a size 14 dress today, and it/they fit. OMG.)

[debsuh 2]

So sorry to hear about your experience, NICU-RN . My 2-month check up was with my surgeon, but he literally stood in the door asking how I was, not seeming to listen or even care - and rushed away as soon as I answered!! So I do understand some of your frustration.

I hope & pray you are feeling back to normal very soon!!

[HHHappy 225]

I'm sorry about that appt!! How frustrating for you. Maybe after the test someone will answer your questions.

[NICU-RN 31]

Thank you to all who have replied. I appreciate all you have said. It is sad to know others have had a similar experience and yet it helps to know also.

I was writing the letter in my head on the way home from the doctor's office, but had not decided to really send one. Thanks to Dr-Patient, I will go ahead and actually write one and send it.

I am totally disillusioned with the whole bariatric practice my doctor is in. I think is a really good doctor, but the practice is high numbers and runs a person thru like a steer on a cattle drive. I have had one bad experience after another the entire time I've dealt with them. If my insurance hadn't insisted I use this practice, I would have never gone back after the first appointment! The insurance gave me two choices - this practice or one 500 miles away. Again, I think my doctor is really good, but the practice itself is bad news. I don't think my doctor has a clue about how the patients really experience his office and staff.

Thank you again for responding - it helps to know I am not alone.

My husband "helped" by spending last night yelling at me because I don't want to go eat out - lots of support from him! Constant nausea and he wants me to go eat lasagna! Which sounds absolutely horrible to me and is totally not on my diet!

[Sherry S 103]

Sorry about the way your doctors acted. I agree write a letter to who ever is head of the physicians. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. We can't be complacent patients. It's not like it was years ago when Dr's had time and cared about pts. I am very lucky I have an excellent physician who is at the top of her field. I researched to make sure I got a good one. I realize now everyone is lucky enough to have this.

As an RN you know how Dr's can be and you have to be assertive!!!!! It is your life and health. As for your husband he's not being compassionate. Shame on him.

Good luck and let us know how your doing.

[katesuccess 990]

That's so awful! What a louse - I agree about sending the letter, and send a copy to the practice's board or to customer service if they have such a thing. Follow up with a call to be sure they received it too. I"m in the middle of doing this with my insurance company not for a bad appt, but because anything I schedule is 3 months out and their backlog is causing problems. Strong letters, emails and calls from articulate and accurate patients seem to get attention, so go for it! And again, so sorry you've had to go through so much with this outfit! Ouch!!

[piercedqt78 658]

At my postop appt, my doctor didn't even ask me how I was feeling etc. Instead he turned and ask my husband how he felt about my weight loss. Even though I 'm a good southern girl, I spent 17 years in Chicago, and don't take crap from anyone. I my hubby looked at me, and I stood up. (hubby just shook his head, knowing it wasn't going to be pretty) and I firmly but politely explained to the surgeon that he was not my husbands doctor, did not preform surgery on him, and he was not the one to be happy/satisfied/whatever with my body, my weight loss or health. That I was perfectly capable of answering questions about MY body, and that from now on he was to address any questions about my body/diet/health/sleeve/weight loss to me, and ONLY to me. He was shocked that I stood up for myself, I guess he is used to women that are heavy being down on themselves, or having low self esteem that he was amazed when I was do forward with him. He collected my chart and left the room. The nurse came in and gave me a copy of my bloodwork as I had requested so my primary care doc would have it in her chart as well. And she gave me a high-five, and said you wouldn't believe how many women let him talk over them, and let their husbands excitement over their new smaller size take over the appointment, and they never ask questions, or get any real medical info from him. As I was leaving, I had to stop at the reception desk to make my follow-up and get my new lab orders, the surgeon came up to me and apologized. And every appointment since he has been very different. I guess I was a bit louder than I thought, as the whole office was aware of what I had said, and even the NUT (different location) knew about it. LOL Sometimes you have to let them know that they are working for YOU, not the other way around. Doctors seem to get on a power trip, and they let that go to their heads.

[NICU-RN 31]

Okay, census says I write a strong, coherent letter to head of the practice. I have my work cut out for me. Hey Piercedqt, can I borrow you to take with me or to write the letter! I am impressed and in awe.

Thank you al for your responses and encouragement. I don't feel so alone and down anymore. You've given me some ways to address the issue with the doctor's office and I appreciate that.

[Dr-Patient 831]

Okay, census says I write a strong, coherent letter to head of the practice. I have my work cut out for me. Hey Piercedqt, can I borrow you to take with me or to write the letter! I am impressed and in awe.

Thank you al for your responses and encouragement. I don't feel so alone and down anymore. You've given me some ways to address the issue with the doctor's office and I appreciate that.

You can begin the letter with something like "I chose you as my surgeon because (his reputation, etc)." State what you've been pleased with and you want to keep being his patient. But you feel he needs to know... And as a patient, it is very frustrating, disappointing and concerning that...

Maybe even make bullet lists of what you feel is wrong or deficient.

Not all doctors are bad guys/gals, though I will say the current lot of physicians (and many of their) approach to delivering care, is pathetic. The system now, however, has caused some docs to feel they don't have time, they don't know what's happening with the front office folks,etc. it's horrible. And sometimes the patients simply need to say this is not appropriate patient care, etc.

I'm sure you'll do a great job. Oh, and do ask for the courtesy of a reply. He'd likely reply anyway, but by specifically asking him, he should feel more pressure because if he is a good doctor, he should want his patients to be satisfied with his care, and that of his practice.

Good luck.

Edited March 19, 2014 by Dr-Patient

[Band2Sleever 78]

What a tough experience for you. Well done for keeping going

I agree, a well-worded letter outlining what has gone wrong and the impact this has had in you would be a good step. My view is to keep it reasonably short. Very long letters that go into lots of detail are not as effective as a shorter letter which doesn't go overboard on detail.

Good luck and keep us all posted

Okay, census says I write a strong, coherent letter to head of the practice. I have my work cut out for me. Hey Piercedqt, can I borrow you to take with me or to write the letter! I am impressed and in awe.

Thank you al for your responses and encouragement. I don't feel so alone and down anymore. You've given me some ways to address the issue with the doctor's office and I appreciate that.

[NICU-RN 31]

Dr-Patient, Band2Sleever;

Thank you for the help. I will certainly use your ideas/guidelines as I write and revise my letter.

[AllisonKara 46]

I completely agree with what Dr-Patient has written. Health care delivery is horrible these days and you never know in which direction you are going to head because the concerned authorities as well as the doctors treat you just like a source of income. But yes, not all of them are insensitive. Don't worry everything will be fine very soon, and stay positive always.

[TheOldMeAgain 128]

The doctor that was suppose to do my surgery didn't even bother to meet me. I recently found out he was the supervising doctor but didn't actually do the procedure. None of this info came from any of the team that operated on me. The thing is I has a feeling when I kept getting told I will meet the doctor but never did. Then one resident even told me I have to understand because the VA North Health Care Center is a teaching hospital. As if that explain clear disregard for a patient. I have a right to know everything regarding my procedure especially who's going to be doing it. It was like some big secret. Now I don't know what to do. Let it go or file a complaint with the lack of forth coming information. I can't even answer basic questions about who did my surgery, or how he look. Health care has become real shitty. What's worse is that they try to make it seem normal and ok. As if the problem is because you ask to be treated as an individual and not some cadaver to be practice on then discarded with no concern.