Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Got my first unexpected, "but why don't you just diet?" lecture today



Recommended Posts

Here's another perspective that just goes to show how people are going to say their stuff whatever the situation.

So I have told no one outside of my husband and grown kids about my sleeve. But my friends have obviously noticed I've lost weight. Because I am a slow loser, no one suspected WLS. I get "advice" from my friends that is so silly, but I just smile and nod. "You need to stop losing! You need to eat more!" And this is just for being on what they think is just a diet. Yadayadayada....can't imagine the rhetoric if I had told them about the surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Two previously supportive coworkers tag-teamed me with their opinions today. Came out of nowhere. I figured it would happen at some point, but I'm still frustrated. Oh well - I was falling asleep and now I've been annoyed awake...at least I'll be productive the rest of the day. This was all the usual stuff. Just eat 1500 - no, 1800 calories. Eat every 2 hours. Low carb. No, no carb. No carb is good. Don't waste the money on surgery. Eat broccoli and boiled chicken. After surgery you'll have to diet, why not do it now? Blah blah blah and some more blah. One of them is my size, getting larger, and in denial about it. Stuffs herself into her clothes like a sausage in a casing and won't admit to being over 200 pounds. She goes through wild swings. One day you can offer her something and she goes off the deep end at you about how she's on a diet and isn't eating crap like that - the next day she's stuffing rolls and M&M's in her piehole hand over fist. The other one, I'm very proud of - she's about a size 4 now and used to be >250 pounds, and did it via the "boiled chicken" method with boot camps twice per day. Good for her. But her way isn't the only way, and being on the other end of a lecture from a sanctimonious ex-fatty who thinks her answers are the only answers is not my idea of a fun way to spend the afternoon. I'm having this surgery because I'm 36 and 300 pounds. I've been fat my entire life. My knees hurt. My feet hurt. My blood pressure is poorly controlled. I want babies before I'm too old to raise them. I. Don't. Want. To. Die. And anyone who thinks they're going to talk me out of doing something to save my life can kiss my fat a$$ for as long as I still have it. Rant, over.

I can relate to your reason why to have surgery! I'm celebrating my 2week post op with dinner of a small portion (1/4 cup) ricotta cheese bake. And you know what? I'm fully, completely satisfied and completely free of cravings! I've lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks, 45 since I started this journey last fall. And my feet, ankles, knees have zero pain. I'm off bp meds, and I have no regrets! None! I chose not to tell too many people, just very close circle of friends. I started most conversations with "I've made this decision after a lot of thought and with the help of a team of experts. I've looked at the research, I've thought about all sides, all pros and cons, and I'm good with this." I found the "preemptive strike" works well. I started at 325, so I know where you are. My only regret? Waiting til I'm 45. Wish I'd have had this option at 36. This is not easy. In fact the emotional journey is probably harder than the physical. But it's worth it. If you are 100% sure, let nothing hold you back! There is a lot of support on these boards. Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd say because I've tried all that and it doesn't work. Stats show 90-95% of people can't lose like 10% of the weight and keep it off. You see people in the news that do it because it is so rare. The tool helps you, if you use the tool right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love these comments. I haven't had anyone tell me that the surgery is the "easy way out". How would they know anyway? Your friend that is now a size 4 - I wonder if she will be a size 4 in a year or two. I've been everything from size 11 to size 24 (currently). I'm 70 & doing this. I would like to be healthy & pain free the rest of my life!! I think you will get the last laugh in the end.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Amen to that one. Even if they are a size 4, some are different. I mean some people can get over the flu by themselves and others need IV's or hospitalizations. Does it really matter if someone gets the surgery to help them be healthier? My gosh its not like we don't recoup the money spent in a few years. Jeez ... you know am I the only one who thinks that the mindset of those NOT getting surgery need more adjustment than those GETTING the surgery?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I LOVE hearing all the stories from people who made this leap and are off their meds and feeling good! I'm not blind to the risks, but just knowing it's possible makes me happy :).

Maxcimax - people are hitting the hundred year mark all the time and you might easily have 30+ years left in you (and I'll tell you what, if I don't do it now, I won't see 70). I agree, if you can fix it and be comfortable and active, go for it!

Edited by roundisashape

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Agreed never be worried about your age. Whatever you have left, make it healthy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love your post. I chose to tell no one (outside of my wife and close family) specifically to avoid this type of BS. People ask me what I'm doing to loose so much weight and I say that "I'm eating much less" and they just roll their eyes and walk away. I'm sure they'd love for me to talk about some ridiculous Richard Simmons diet! Totally respect you for letting people know about your decision, but I suppose the downside is dealing with a little ignorance. You. Are. Definitely. Making. The. Right. Decision!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×