Anyone having trouble with friends?

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

If you lose it she wins...Could you talk to your bosses ab out moving you to another place....this is so pathetic on her part..What is she 7 on the playground being a bully!!!!!!!!!!!

She needs to grow the h#ll up!

[Shea_Shea 39]

Unfortunately my job is a salon. They just own the one place. So I'm kind of stuck. I honestly think this whole thing is ridiculous. I feel like I'm in highschool again.

[millergirl314 168]

So sorry you're going thru this, our friends are supposed to be supportive and encouraging. Keep your chin up and take care of yourself :-)

[dfav3412 116]

What you need to remember is ...this is YOUR journey. Other people don't have to understand it, support it, or be a part of it. You have done this for you and if you lose someone over this...what have you truly lost if you think about it.

[Skywalker 170]

One of my best friends was so supportive when I got my surgery now I feel like she is trying to sabotage me. People are saying it's best I was always the "fat" friend and wasn't a threat. But she is still so much smaller then me that she should have nothing to worry about. I tried talking to her and that ended up with us fighting and not speaking at work. Then when she did speak to me it was to tell me it was my fault and I was the hurtful one. All I did was cancel plans for dinner because when we went out the night before she was clearly trying to break my diet by putting all this food in front of me and order so much alcohol a grown man couldn't drink that much. I would never tell someone they can't drink but all the time we've known each other she has never ordered that much. And I don't appreciate her trying to put food on my plate when she knows I can't have it. I even asked her if we can go out and do other things besides going to dinner or a bar and she said no. It sucks because we are so close but I feel like I need to watch my back. Am I just overreacting?

She sounds like she was maybe not a very good friend. As I'm sure your appetite has decreased with surgery, I would take a bite of each of her offerings, then get a to-go container to pack up the rest. If she gripes that you haven't eaten it all, say you are not hungry but look forward to having it for your next couple meals, as you are exercising Portion Control. No one should take issue with that--portion control/discipline is, after all, droned on about constantly in today's society.

[blondegal_ 1,028]

Unfortunately my job is a salon. They just own the one place. So I'm kind of stuck. I honestly think this whole thing is ridiculous. I feel like I'm in highschool again.

Go in and act like nothing is wrong. Talk to everyone, smile, and concentrate on the customers. Don't say a word about her to the others. Ask them about their lives and don't say much about yours or anything about her. Rise above it and they'll see she's being silly.

[Mikee57 699]

Shea Shea you are the bigger person in this conflict, I understand in a salon it would be hard to stay away from all the drama, but try not to let it bother you and come to work and do your job and then go home. She is being such a you know what...she isn't worth having as a friend. Friends are there through thick or thin!!! Remember you are the one on this journey don't let her or anyone sabatoge your's. I will keep you in my prayers sweetie!!!

[PdxMan 4,292]

It's actually getting worst. Our bosses are now involved and I feel like she has all the other girls pissed at me. Our bosses are staying neutral but the other girls are just being so disrespectful. Clearly working together is not going to work.

There must be something else going on here.

The other girls are pissed at you because you are not eating the way you used to?

If this is true, turn it around on them.

My mother would often comment about my tiny portions, so, when we are together, I beat her to the punch. Before our first bite, I say, "Isn't it amazing how little the human body actually needs in order to thrive? I am a full grown man who is more than twice as active as you, yet not only do I survive on less than half of your portion, I thrive!"

She just blinks. What can she say to that? If you are dealing with people who are consuming even more than that, I wouldn't get too dramatic with the comparisons. People do not like to be called over-indulgent and may react by lashing out even more. But my guess is it will shut them up a bit. If it does escalate, you can also just tell them that, "My decision to live a healthier lifestyle should not impact you. I need this for me, not for you."

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

It's actually getting worst. Our bosses are now involved and I feel like she has all the other girls pissed at me. Our bosses are staying neutral but the other girls are just being so disrespectful. Clearly working together is not going to work.

There must be something else going on here.

The other girls are pissed at you because you are not eating the way you used to?

If this is true, turn it around on them.

My mother would often comment about my tiny portions, so, when we are together, I beat her to the punch. Before our first bite, I say, "Isn't it amazing how little the human body actually needs in order to thrive? I am a full grown man who is more than twice as active as you, yet not only do I survive on less than half of your portion, I thrive!"

She just blinks. What can she say to that? If you are dealing with people who are consuming even more than that, I wouldn't get too dramatic with the comparisons. People do not like to be called over-indulgent and may react by lashing out even more. But my guess is it will shut them up a bit. If it does escalate, you can also just tell them that, "My decision to live a healthier lifestyle should not impact you. I need this for me, not for you."

I used those exact words the other day when a lady was concerned about my food intake. I said I am still alive after a year of doing this and feeling better and better as time goes on. I find it amazing how little the human body needs to eat to be healthy and strong.

She shut up and ate her cookie in silence...killed me..lol

[Susysleever 265]

I met my husband at the corner bar. I was rather slender I was a size 12 it was an interesting story I had another friend and he called me and said it was a girl dancing topless on the bar. So I went down there and I met him. and I also squeeze into the bar and order drinks that's when I met my husband. Our group follows nascar which is a five day beerfest. we went out for several months and got engaged and got married. my group hangs out the bar. he played darts but I've been off and on a diet forever so they're used to me not drinking. all I have to do is say that I'm on a diet and they know its just me I don't think any of them would give me a hard time or criticize because I'm trying to be thinner. And I've done it before.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I feel so lucky. My best friend was the first one I told and she is 100 percent supportive. I've met for lunch with her to talk about what the surgeon and NUT said and she is going to be my driver to and from the hospital. We have a bible study at her house on Fridays and she had asked me what foods she should serve so I can eat too

That's a good friend... Sounds like this girl is anything but a friend!

[Skywalker 170]

Damn....this isn't weight related, so I'm not sure it belongs here, but my husband and I have a "friend" we've known for about 15 years, and in the time we've known him he's basically bled us dry when possible by having us cover his meals, run him on errands, and use our car (he has no car, he doesn't feel like getting one). He has major issues with money and delinquency.

Despite my desire to be independent, he keeps coming back into our life every couple years. He'll start out nice, but move in quickly, like by suggesting we take out loans or go into business together. When I shy away from the idea he gets hostile and will call off plans to visit, saying things like, "You helped me readjust my priorities. I will NOT be extending my summer trip to see you."

Arguing with him is pointless. Worst of all, when he throws these temper tantrums, he waits a couple months and then contacts my husband, saying, "Is she still mad at me?" and acting like I'm the mean one, trying to completely ignore his own behavior and deflect it to someone else. Apologies in advance if this isn't the right thread, but how the hell do I deal with someone like this?

Edited April 12, 2014 by Skywalker

[PdxMan 4,292]

You cut off contact with him. Simple as that. Next time he floats into your life, say, "I'm sorry, but you are toxic in my life. No good has ever come from our relationship, so let's not kid ourselves and move on."

Wish him well and be consistent with how you and your husband deal with him.

[lsereno 2,525]

If instead of saying "I can't have it"...you said "I am full, I don't want it", that would really throw her for a loop......

That's my line. I never say "I can't have that" I stick with "I'm full" or "I don't want that." Or" It doesn't sit well now " or " I have to save room for good stuff so I stay healthy."

Lynda

[Susysleever 265]

Why is it that when we lose weight, they can't handle it?