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Everyone who is obese, overweight does not have low self esteem?



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I am writing this post to simply capture others opinions so if it comes across negative please forgive me.

When I chose to make this tremendously huge change in my life, I went at it alone. I did not ask who approved??? I said this is what is best for me and my future and so be it for several reasons. People will tend to have a lot of opinions and most of the time they are not requested nor welcomed. It is easier for most to rattle off a thoughtless opinion than be a support mechanism which requires work.

After several required counseling sessions with the doctors, interactions with the nurses and etc, the one thing that I would like to discuss with those who have went through this journey is about the misconception of everyone who is overweight having low self esteem, can not achieve their dreams until they are in the population of the skinny or sits in dark corners eating everything in site.

Question: Do I have a solid 100 % healthy diet?

Answer: No

However I do not eat to cure the upsides and downsides of life. In every meeting that I sit in, I here some type of reference to it and it drives me insane. I chalk my weight to genetics, disorderly body functions and diet. I have always been overweight –PERIOD. From childhood until now in my thirties. I have dieted, exercised, did supervised diets, created my own and for the most part I have always been able to lose some type of weight however it never stayed away for long. Being a “PlUS” size girl I always have thought I was beautiful, I am active, I take care of myself, I do not think my weight is stopping me from achieving any goals, I do not thing my weight lost will make me pretty to those who think I am overweight, etc…etc…etc.

What is amazing is when I tried to correct – EXCUSE ME – when I tried to say or state FOR ME that I do not feel bad about myself and that is not what or how I feel, she the nurse what so programmed to why people become obese she talked right over me insisting I needed a list of 100 things to do beside snack. I do appreciate the information because anyone who has been through this knows that old eating habits are not apart of the success of this tool. I do not suffer from the breakup of how often I can eat not even really what I use to eat because that was never a problem. At times it does stink that convince of grabbing a burger when I do not want to cook or eating out without scanning over the menu like a hawk f is no longer an option because I have to basically plan, plan, plan – yea that is work at times but I would like people – the ones who do the surgery, write articles about overweight people, nurses, outsiders all to know that obesity is not always defined as lazy, low self esteem, over eating, lonely, and whatever else I have heard. I know that this is the case for some – I am not ignorant to that however it is not always the case. To hear the assumption because I am overweight I must feel a certain way about myself - sorry wrong. I choose this option because I have children that I want to live for and heart disease, cancer and other health issues run in my family that I want to attempt to avoid.

Anyone else ?

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A Freaking Men!!!! I totally agree!!!

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Well I too felt a lot like you when I began this journey 1.5 years ago. I believed my weight was all because of medication. I was active playing soccer 1-2 times a week and never felt like I used food for emotions. Through this journey you learn so much about yourself, and your preconceived ideas are thrown out the window. I learned that while I did not think I had an issue with food in reality I did.

My advise to you is take everything people are saying to you and search your inner self. You will be surprised what you will discover about yourself. This journey tested who I was and who I believed I was. I was surprised at the results in a pleasant way.

Edited by music1618

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@ Music1618 - that is so true! I have found that this journey is not free from emotion at all. So there are times when I am told or hear something that literally does process through my soul/spirit.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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