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Telling people about surgery... Advice needed



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I am also having the sleeve surgery on March 3rd. I had a lap band that failed and no one even knew I had it in 2005 since I told no one but my husband, parents and one cousin who had hers the same day. I am having mine removed when the sleeve is done. I am a Supervisor of Social Workers. One of the women in my building had the surgery in August. She is doing phenomenal and is getting so much support from the staff. I decided not to hide it at work this way I was held accountable since that's where I do the most eating. So far everyone has been supportive. In my mind I do worry "what if I'm not successful what will people think" but the truth is, what were people saying with me carrying an extra 90 pounds? Bottom line is I've done it both ways with and without telling people and so far I must admit, the support is better with people knowing. Good luck to you on the 3rd no matter what you decide. :)

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Everyone has been very supportive except my sister and brother. They don't ask how I am doing or feel. Amazing to me. Think they might be jealous or I took the easy way out. Oh well! I'm proud and my husband is very supportive!!

Carols5417, I had lost 125 pounds since I had seen my Bro and Sis in Law, they walked in and said "Hey, how you doing" Not another word....... and I had drove 12 hours to hear THAT!, YEP, they are jealous, and THEY are the ones with a problem, NOT US. Hold that head up high.. you should be very proud! Keep up the great work.

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I am very proud of what I have accomplished with the sleeve's help as well as support of my friends and my surgical team. Interacting on the forum and tracking in myfitnesspal.com has really helped. I'm lower than my goal, and trying to add back healthy foods along with my Protein.

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I also work with all women. I told one and the whole office knows. I didn't think it would be a big deal for people to know but a lot of people are being rude... Just diet, you don't need this... I wish I wouldn't have said anything.

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My advice is... stop caring what other ppl think. I don't and believe me.... it is therapeutic. I too am a nurse. I love when people want me to fail cuz it fuels my fire even more. I can usually sniff those ppl out and do my best to really irritate them with my success. I just got into NP school and a lot of those ppl are even more irritated.... I am going to be skinny AND move up the career ladder. Yea... I love ppl who want to see me fail. I internally thank them for giving me relentless motivation.

Woohoo luv ur attitude, how much have u lost & when did u have ur surgery? my surgery is scheduled for 3/24/14. Im changing careers and taking the LPN entry exam 3/21/14, i currently have a MPA masters in public administration. Im looking forward to being a skinny nurse lol.

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Carols5417, I had lost 125 pounds since I had seen my Bro and Sis in Law, they walked in and said "Hey, how you doing" Not another word....... and I had drove 12 hours to hear THAT!, YEP, they are jealous, and THEY are the ones with a problem, NOT US. Hold that head up high.. you should be very proud! Keep up the great work.

Wow thats all they said. Just rude & jealous, are they overweight? Kudos to you for losing 125, screw them. I would have turned around & left. Some people.

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At first I didn't want anyone to know but my parents and my husband. Of course I had to tell HR so that way I could get days off without pressure. But my dad told some aunts of mine and the day of my surgery one of my aunts tagged me on Facebook wanting to know how my surgery went. That night I saw it and was mortified. Then the one million Questions came from everyone that knew me, if I was OK, what I had. I told my husband Oh well cats out of the bag. At first I didn't want to be judged because you hear people talking bad about people who have had the surgery. But then I realized No One knows the pain I go through with my Rheumatoid Arthritis daily. I'm only thirty and I hated feeling like a burden to my spouse and family not being able to keep up. Now I'm only 3 1/2 wks out and with what weight loss I have had, I feel great. Now I don't care what people think. And Its true, when you start telling people, you find out who your true friends are. I feel like if it didn't come out now it would eventually.

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I just read a Yahoo article on someone that has lost hundreds of pounds - she was over 600 and lost 393 pounds. Here's a paragraph from the article: Her wake-up call came when, in preparation for a gastric bypass surgery that would ultimately fail, she had to be weighed on a freight scale.

There are comments below the article that had me fuming - "I'm glad she lost it the natural way and not thru surgery!" "She'd be pretty if she lost another 50 pounds." Another person commented on the fact that most of the motorized scooters used in grocery stores are used by the overweight people that only fill their carts with soda and chips.

People will have their opinions whether they are members of our family, friends or acquaintances. I'm a very private person - I am not an open book about most aspects of my life. I chose to keep things I'm going thru from the flu to my VSG private. I have only shared this with the people I can trust have my best interest and will support me. This journey is about my health and my ability to feel good about myself for the first time since I was about 17 years old - I have not allowed negativity in my life, I don't have time for it.

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On March 5th I will be exactly 1 year out. I am down 82 pounds and went from a size 18 to size 8! I am thrilled with my progress and so happy I made this choice. I didn't tell anyone but my husband and while reflecting back I am glad I made this decision and it was definitely right for me. My close friends and family see me working out vigorously and that I have changed my eating habits dramatically. No one has ever questioned how I am loosing they are just happy I have. Everyone needs to make their own decision.

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I just finished nursing school.. and to be honest, the entire time I was uncomfortable, especially during all the obesity and co-morbidity lectures (which are included in basically every class). I'm older than most new graduate nurses and afraid nobody is going to want to hire me compared to the young, pretty and slim nurses. I want to be comfortable in my own skin again.

Edited by moonchild41

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On March 5th I will be exactly 1 year out. I am down 82 pounds and went from a size 18 to size 8! I am thrilled with my progress and so happy I made this choice. I didn't tell anyone but my husband and while reflecting back I am glad I made this decision and it was definitely right for me. My close friends and family see me working out vigorously and that I have changed my eating habits dramatically. No one has ever questioned how I am loosing they are just happy I have. Everyone needs to make their own decision.

Woohoo congratulations, I would luv to be a size 8 lol.

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I just finished nursing school.. and to be honest, the entire time I was uncomfortable, especially during all the obesity and co-morbidity lectures (which are included in basically every class). I'm older than most new graduate nurses and afraid nobody is going to want to hire me compared to the young, pretty and slim nurses. I want to be comfortable in my own skin again.

Congratulations for completing nursing school. Im scheduled to take the LPN entry example 3/21/14, im so nervous. The math & science is scaring me. I know im not dumb I have a MPA, just nervous. Ughhh

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I just finished nursing school.. and to be honest, the entire time I was uncomfortable, especially during all the obesity and co-morbidity lectures (which are included in basically every class). I'm older than most new graduate nurses and afraid nobody is going to want to hire me compared to the young, pretty and slim nurses. I want to be comfortable in my own skin again.

Congratulations for completing nursing school. Im scheduled to take the LPN entry example 3/21/14, im so nervous. The math & science is scaring me. I know im not dumb I have a MPA, just nervous. Ughhh

You'll do great. Math and science were always my weakest subjects and I just survived a BSN program! If you need any help or advice, just let me know! :)

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I was very hesitant about telling people. I made the decision to let my close friends know about 1 week before surgery. I have received nothing but positive support. I did the surgery for me, so at the end of the day mine is the only opinion that matters. I'm 6 months out and haven't heard a negative word from anyone.

I hope you find the same support.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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