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Everything happens for a reason



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Ou know that feeling, deep down inside of you that tells you there's something just not right? Well...mine has been screaming at me since my 1st appointment. I was referred to a bariatric surgeon by my regular physician who I feel very comfortable with and trust. He gave me the name of the doc and I called and made my appointment, it was dec 11,2013. I went to the info class first, then my appointment was that afternoon at 2:30. Now I should mention here that I wasn't scheduled with the doctor I was actually referred to but one of his associates. I didn't really think anything of it as he works for this doc that came so highly recommended by tons of people and my doc! The office staff was so sweet. We waited a bit then met with an intake assistant, also as sweet as they come. Then I had an h. Pylori test, it was negative! Yay! So then we went to an exam room to meet with the doc. I waited for what felt like forever. But...I didn't mind as that told me he was really taking his time with his patients and that to me is admirable! He finally came in and was pleasant. Dry but pleasant. We talked and he was answering some questions and then...his cell phone rang. He looked at it and then said excuse me...he went to the hall but we could hear him. It was his wife wondering where he was and discussing their dinner plans. This really put me off! Should it? Maybe not as I realize they are people with families and lives too but, nonetheless it did. And it really stuck with me. I wondered are his dinner plans really more important than my being cut open and changed for all my life? We continued the discussion when he came back and a small comment was made to me that was another one of those...hmmm.. WTH kinda things. He said "look, we all don't like the things we have to do every day, i don't like coming work everyday but I do"'.... Ummmmmm....you don't like coming to work?!?! This for me was another HUGE red flag... I want my surgeon to LoVE what they do. But...I ignored the feelings (sort of) and continued on my journey. The rest of my testing and appointments were easy breezy and the office was more than helpful with everything but all the while...these things stuck with me.

As my surgery day approached I began to panic. Like a crazy panic where I couldn't breathe. I was sobbing uncontrollably and felt very unsure. I dismissed this as normal fear. I mean I was about to have surgery! I am sure my uneasiness was transferring to my kids and my youngest who already was very worried about me got even more so. I had this knot in my stomach, I kept going in and out of panic attacks and my amazing husband was my rock. On day 1 of my 3 day liquid diet I began to feel icky... I figured it was from not eating. Just ignored it, flushed out my nose with the netti pot, and thought I'd feel better after sleep. The next day, I felt worse. I could feel my head all stuffy and icky and could feel a lil tightness starting in my chest. I called the surgeons line, then the on call dr called me back (I could barely understand him, his English was rough) but he said well, there's nothing you can do call back tomorrow.....ummmm ok?!? So I called the next day as is till wasn't feeling that great. Not the worst cold ever but...it wasn't my normal self and I was getting worried about the cold as it was producing a lot of mucus and now I had a cough.

I spoke with a very nice lady at the drs office, my doc was in surgery, so she emailed him then she said she would call back before the end of the day....she did and doc said I was ok. To proceed with the surgery. Well....he's a doctor...I'm not so I have to trust him.

I didn't sleep much a t all. I prayed and prayed...that God would put all the people I would need in the right places to protect me. That angels would surround me and the surgical team for a smooth and up eventful surgery.

My kids and hubby n I packed up and drove the 2 hours to the hospital. All the way me panicking and just not feeling well. We arrived and parked, brought our stuff in, got admitted, in asu room, in a gown, had a pregnancy test, and then my sweet nurse Jenn came in. She told me someone had called and informed her that I had called and reported a cold yesterday! She listened to my lungs and they were good she said. But she wanted to get the anesthesiologist in too... A big burly Russian man came into the room. I was a bit overtaken by his presence. He was a bit scary to be honest. He listened to my. Heat very carefully, he really did a thorough exam. Then he informed me that because I have an upper respiratory infection my odds of having complications with the anesthesia were increased to 50/50. He said there is a 50% chance nothing will happen but...there is a 50% chance something will???like pneumonia and I could be in the hospital much longer. My husband and I looked at each other...I asked dr. Gruffly...(cause I don't remember his name) what do you recommend. He said...this is not a life saving procedure today. This is to improve my quality of life and prevent other commorbidities, he said he recommends I take a week to clear up this virus and then 2 more for the swelling and inflammation in my throat and esophagus to go down then proceed.

If it wasn't for this man, this gruffly man I could have suffered some major complications, especially with all the coughing I've been doing. I consider this man my angel...God has his ways of stopping things from happening that we may not be good enough at recognizing ourselves. I am grateful for to The Lord and dr mcgruffy.

I have since gone to my PCP, diagnosed with a virus and given a slip to have a chest X-ray prior to surgery just to be sure all is clear! I have spoken with my surgeons office and scheduled a re-consult with the Dr. That I was actually referred to and I am feeling so much better about this. This doc has 18 years of experience and tons of reviews and personal patients of his I know. I could never find any info hardly on hue 1st surgeon I had...no one, even my PCP had heard of him.

I am feeling a lot better heading forward and you know what?... EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

So if anyone like me...has had to wait a little longer than we hoped...know that it may be best and try and embrace it as a positive.

Love to all

Dreaming....

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Glad you paid attention to that little voice in the back of your head. And many thanks to the big Russian! Hope you can get back on track with your surgery and maybe a new surgeon.

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Glad you paid attention to that little voice in the back of your head. And many thanks to the big Russian! Hope you can get back on track with your surgery and maybe a new surgeon.

Thanks MrsVanderbilt!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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