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Surgery won't fix this anxiety will it?



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Obviously I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a lot to lose...I'm at the start of getting my preop appts done for the VSG

Anyways, husband works in a field where there are a lot of younger (and happen to be really good looking) females. My insecurities and anxiety are getting the best of me, he has not given me reason to worry or anything (knock on wood) but the jealousy, anxiety and insecurity is eating away at me...

How do I work through this? I'm assuming it's related to my weight and low self esteem. Add in the fact that we're a mixed couple, I sometimes I feel like I'm competing with another race too :-\

Help!

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Are you the one he gladly comes home to at night????? If so, I would not worry so much about it. Besides, it looks like you need to see yourself through his eyes instead of yours. ;) Anxiety can eat away at you and affect your quality of life.

There is a lot of happiness out there waiting for someone to grab it up. So, if you can focus on happier days gone by or the amazing next year coming up you will feel better.

I am telling you, this process will evolve you into a whole 'nother person you may not recognize. For example, I went out yesterday and got a sassy new hairdo (like Rita Moreno's at the Sag Awards) and...I bought new make-up, too which I have not worn for years. I would not have done it pre-op. If one can feel this good after only 38 pounds, just imagine how much we are all changing as we enjoy our non-surgical victories.

Your bariatric team may have a psychologist you can talk to. They can offer insight into what makes you tick and how to break poor eating habits. Wishing you good luck and good health.

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Vitamin D! I can relate to almost everything you said. Anxiety has been in my life as long as I can remember. My husband has never given me anything to worry about, but I still do. Losing weight and looking better helps me feel better, and when I feel better and I'm happier, he is then happier too. But I must say that I have been taking Vitamins for years, and when I read Vitamin D helps with anxiety I added 2000ui a day of a good quality vitamin, and I noticed real improvement in my anxiety.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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