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My Friends My Journey



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As you can read my stats on the left over there. I'm Gastric, 4 years out. I wrote about me and my Husband today, which got me to thinking about my friends.

I'll come right and tell you, I'm 54 years young. And you'd think that women my age would be soooo far past bad and catty-like behavior, not so much. My friends and I have been sitting around one table or another, or on vacation or at a Spa, for 15 years b*tching about how we should or gotta lose weight. Then!!!..I was obliterated, by my Doctor, who diagnosed me as' Morbidly Obese' and very unhealthy. The Nerve. I had a denial file (that's on another post).

So long story short, I had the surgery. Didn't consult friends, no need. Just family. It was hard doing all that research over the 4 years of contemplating this surgery and not asking their advice, but this was something I wanted to be just MINE (and my husbands), and if I failed at it, I just didn't want to go threw everything it takes to make your gal pals know your ok and life goes on. I considered this a private matter. Much as I love my friends, together we are 'Drama Queens'. Its what we do..lol..drink wine, talk sh*t, check out the latest fashions, make plans for a vaca or GNO's (Girls Night Out) ..blah blah blah. Basically any social thing we can think of to be together.

Wellllllll...Surgery complete, time to tell 'The Girls'. hmmmm? little bit of a shock at first..expected. Ya know??? there's always one in a crowd that rots the rest of us. I was waiting to see who it would be. And ya know what?? Its always the one you don't expect..hmmm! I really didn't expect ANY backlash from any of them, were friends for Christ sake. AND there it came, " I suppose now that your on your way to becoming a skinny b*tch, you cant hang with us"?..I was prepared, yay me. I was hoping I wouldn't have to use my arsenal of defensive scenerio's, So my come back was.."Girllll I don't remember our friendship being based on BBW (Big Beautiful Women) Club??? You betta' check yoursel!f"..and that put and end to it, thank goodness. We resume are b*tching about other stuff. So, I never had to get rid of friends, thank goodness, because if it came right down to it, I would have. My surgery means more to me that any MEAN friend. I'm hoping that all of you have supportive friends and fam. But a lot of us don't. So prepare yourself before hand, with as much dignity and tact as you can muster, just in case you have a MEAN family/friend moment ..thanx for listening. :)

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First off. ... Woman you do NOT look 54! Holy moly!

Second. I think I follow you bc you are so straight forward. That inspires me!

Third. I'm worried only slightly about my friendships. All of my friends are smaller than me. Like as in size 0, 1, 10.... I have very few friends that I regularly socialize with who struggle with being overweight. I'm not at all saying I don't have any. I have plenty. So with that being said, my health, this surgery (whenever it may happen) are of the utmost importance to me.

You nailed it! (:

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Thanx Jen..I think its worth mentioning..cuz it happens a lot, I watched 'Extemem Makeover" weighloss, and that seemed also to happen to them on that show. So Im assuming its prevalent. & thank you, I might have to update a pic of me, this one was about a year and half ago. still thanx..:)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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