Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Negativity



Recommended Posts

I knew to some extent I would have to deal with negative or jealous people. But being that I'm still pre op I had no idea there would be so many already. I keep hearing things like. " oh you better start saving money to get all your extra skin cut off" or " people who have that surgery have nothing but problems and are miserable" and " F that diet you have to eat after" also I'm engaged so I was recently asked if we have set a date and I said no we haven't yet we are just getting caught up on our finances as paying off our debts but we are getting closer! A woman replied, " she just wants to lose weight first then decide if that's the person she wants to marry" it took everything in me not to jump over the couch and pummel her. Ugh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow some really rude people around you. While I have no doubt some people might be thinking some not polite things, no one has said them to my face. Could be because they are scared of me....lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who was the 'woman' who said that to you? <feeling angry on your behalf>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A woman replied, " she just wants to lose weight first then decide if that's the person she wants to marry"

:faint:

The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually living a good life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>Who was the 'woman' who said that to you? <feeling angry on your behalf></p>

She is a friends friend and I had never even met her before, I was discussing it with my friend when she chimed in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't need to tell another soul that you are having wls. Misery loves company. I wouldn't mention it again, even to the ones that already knows.

I talked about it for a week at work, when the thought first came to mind. Once I got serious I never said another word to anyone. Now four months later, when I go back to work (4 weeks later) after surgery they will never know why. They can only guess why I was out and make there comments to themselves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>Who was the 'woman' who said that to you? <feeling angry on your behalf></p>

She is a friends friend and I had never even met her before, I was discussing it with my friend when she chimed in.

Woah! I'dve replied 'Excuse me?!! And you are?!!'

Oof... I wouldn't have taken that lightly.. I'm sorry you had that. Lets hope your real friend turned to this woman afterwards and said 'Yo, dude, you were bang out of order there...'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't need to tell another soul that you are having wls. Misery loves company. I wouldn't mention it again, even to the ones that already knows. <br> I talked about it for a week at work, when the thought first came to mind. Once I got serious I never said another word to anyone. Now four months later, when I go back to work (4 weeks later) after surgery they will never know why. They can only guess why I was out and make there comments to themselves.

The only people I told were my parents and my fiancé and two good friends, this happened to be one of my good friends whose mother in law just had it and she was talking about that and I just happened to mention mine was getting close, I wasn't even aware this person was near or listening. Oh well! Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just don't tell anyone else. The some reason people aren't happy for you when you are trying to improve yourself. You don't know what your friend has said, for the lady to make that comment.

I told my girlfriend, (friends since fourth grade) that I finally got my surgery date. Let me tell you, I have not heard from her since. I have called her several times, with no answer, REALLY. I'm always there for her and now this. Just be careful with who you talk to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew to some extent I would have to deal with negative or jealous people. But being that I'm still pre op I had no idea there would be so many already. I keep hearing things like. " oh you better start saving money to get all your extra skin cut off" or " people who have that surgery have nothing but problems and are miserable" and " F that diet you have to eat after" also I'm engaged so I was recently asked if we have set a date and I said no we haven't yet we are just getting caught up on our finances as paying off our debts but we are getting closer! A woman replied, " she just wants to lose weight first then decide if that's the person she wants to marry" it took everything in me not to jump over the couch and pummel her. Ugh

Sorry that happened to you I haven't had any negative experiences but I chose not to tell anyone but close family members and a few friends. About two years ago I had a friend beg me not to even consider wls. She is the reason I chose not to share with a lot of people. I knew I would need all the support and encouragement I could get. My friends and family who do know have been extremely supportive.

On a side note, I've updated my profile picture on Facebook twice in the past six months since I have had surgery. One friend commented stating that I am looking younger and younger and asked what am I doing. I just hit the "like" button. It's my secret, after all. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew to some extent I would have to deal with negative or jealous people. But being that I'm still pre op I had no idea there would be so many already. I keep hearing things like. " oh you better start saving money to get all your extra skin cut off" or " people who have that surgery have nothing but problems and are miserable" and " F that diet you have to eat after" also I'm engaged so I was recently asked if we have set a date and I said no we haven't yet we are just getting caught up on our finances as paying off our debts but we are getting closer! A woman replied, " she just wants to lose weight first then decide if that's the person she wants to marry" it took everything in me not to jump over the couch and pummel her. Ugh

As much as I hate to say this....you will find negative people who have had WLS.....same reasons. jealousy? Spite?

Just be aware, they are out there and some on this forum...don't let it get you down, stay with the positive stories.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew to some extent I would have to deal with negative or jealous people. But being that I'm still pre op I had no idea there would be so many already. I keep hearing things like. " oh you better start saving money to get all your extra skin cut off" or " people who have that surgery have nothing but problems and are miserable" and " F that diet you have to eat after" also I'm engaged so I was recently asked if we have set a date and I said no we haven't yet we are just getting caught up on our finances as paying off our debts but we are getting closer! A woman replied, " she just wants to lose weight first then decide if that's the person she wants to marry" it took everything in me not to jump over the couch and pummel her. Ugh

It's prob a durn good thing I don't live by u! I'd smack that one silly for being so rude to u! U are going to have the normally negative nellies in life for sure... But that was over the top rude and crude!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew to some extent I would have to deal with negative or jealous people. But being that I'm still pre op I had no idea there would be so many already. I keep hearing things like. " oh you better start saving money to get all your extra skin cut off" or " people who have that surgery have nothing but problems and are miserable" and " F that diet you have to eat after" also I'm engaged so I was recently asked if we have set a date and I said no we haven't yet we are just getting caught up on our finances as paying off our debts but we are getting closer! A woman replied, " she just wants to lose weight first then decide if that's the person she wants to marry" it took everything in me not to jump over the couch and pummel her. Ugh

Oh wow girl i would have gone to jail..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was often told that's the easy way out slacker. Or your not big enough for WLS. You aren't sick enough. I didn't care what people had to say I pushed them out the door. I've kept only the positive people in my life.

Keep your head up and do what's best for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In over twenty months I have only had a couple of negative comments, and each of these I just put down to the person saying them having issues with their own weight. Ultimately, I do believe what other people think of me is none of my business! Let them think what they like, especially if they are as far removed as a friend's friend, really, their opinion of you is of no consequence.

That said, beyond the friend's friend and the horrid comment she made, the other comments are not that nice either. I made the decision a longtime ago to surround myself with positive people who are supportive and encouraging. It does make a difference. Choose not to surround yourself with such rude people!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×