No one ever said..i'm worried about how heavy you are getting!

[Idairene 37]

Ultimately I have learned to say "thank you for your concern (compliments or whatever) but I feel this is a private matter, (between me and my medical team, Dr, etc as appropriate) and I hope you will understand that I don't want to discuss this further." I've had good luck sending this in an email to an individual person (NOT a group email) because often, when people make comments like this, I am too stunned to reply appropriately at the moment. My WLS surgery support group helped me work through using "I" statements to respond to these comments. Lack of privacy, having my weight loss be so noticibly public, was and continues to be a major issue for me personnaly. Learning to say "I feel this is a private" has helped me deal with my own discomfort around these statements. Some people have asked what I am comfortable with and I tell them getting a compliment like "I like that dress" or "you look nice today" are perfectly fine but that commenting directly on my size is something I am not comfortable with. I tell them "I am sensitive about it."

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

people have started to ask me how much more do I want to lose. I usually respond that I want to get under 200. they are shocked that I am still over 200. I think it's just that we are so dramatically smaller that they associate a healthy size for us with emancipated! when I get under 200, I'll probably reply with "under 190" and so forth. when they hear the huge number that usually shuts them up (as long as I still weigh more than they do! LOL!)

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Ultimately I have learned to say "thank you for your concern (compliments or whatever) but I feel this is a private matter, (between me and my medical team, Dr, etc as appropriate) and I hope you will understand that I don't want to discuss this further." I've had good luck sending this in an email to an individual person (NOT a group email) because often, when people make comments like this, I am too stunned to reply appropriately at the moment. My WLS surgery support group helped me work through using "I" statements to respond to these comments. Lack of privacy, having my weight loss be so noticibly public, was and continues to be a major issue for me personnaly. Learning to say "I feel this is a private" has helped me deal with my own discomfort around these statements. Some people have asked what I am comfortable with and I tell them getting a compliment like "I like that dress" or "you look nice today" are perfectly fine but that commenting directly on my size is something I am not comfortable with. I tell them "I am sensitive about it."

I think you are too kind..but that is probably your nature. I however have not told anyone of these people what I did to myself..They see it as a result of 5 months almost dying in the hospital....Yes I almost died and none of them came to see me...But they want to get a look at the results of the situation...Or decide that I am too small now, stop it you know....I am trying to figure out which is best....Giving them the evil stare down...Which I am told by my hubby could bring down the iceberg that took down the Titanic....Or simply punch them in the face!!!!!!!!!!!

We will see which one works best for me in 2014.....Thank you for your sweet ideas. hun!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

people have started to ask me how much more do I want to lose. I usually respond that I want to get under 200. they are shocked that I am still over 200. I think it's just that we are so dramatically smaller that they associate a healthy size for us with emancipated! when I get under 200, I'll probably reply with "under 190" and so forth. when they hear the huge number that usually shuts them up (as long as I still weigh more than they do! LOL!)

Ah, don't you think that is just too sad.....It is an issue for me as well with some like the lady I mentioned in my first post....To be so pathetic to need someone smaller then yourself to make your world spin.....Get a life people!!!! eh

[Hunter 159]

That made my heart sink, RJ. I know EXACTLY the scenario. I used to go quiet. Feel wounded. And eat for comfort at night.... The years of wounding are making me a bit angry of late... I have to be mindful not to go too far the other way.... As attractive as litigation might be, maybe a quick 'go **** yourself' might make me feel better about things these days. Particularly if its accompanied by a flick of the hair and a flouncing away with my new, much smaller behind wearing something fabulous. When it happens, I'll be sure to let you know how it felt x

The more I read your post the more I like you! I love your biting whit!