You Should Not Consider Bariatric Surgery if..

[No game 14,437]

1. If you think it is a magic bullet.

Bariatric surgery is not a magic bullet. It will help you lose weight but the responsibility is on you to keep going and maintain that loss. Regaining all of the lost weight is very possible and not even that uncommon.

People who do not commit to a healthy lifestyle after the surgery are highly vulnerable to regain. Unlike diets, regain with surgery is delayed. On a diet people usually gain weight back within a few weeks or months. With surgery, people won’t begin to regain the weight until 18 months to 2 years. People who feel like surgery is a magic bullet will not be prepared for the commitment and will end up on the road to failure.

2. If you think it will be easy.

Bariatric surgery involves an extensive process of nutrition counseling, temporary liquid diets, and pre- and post-surgery meetings and preparations. Most clinics will ask that you lose some weight before the surgery, start on a special diet, and exercise. If you find a clinic that does not ask you to go through multiple steps like this you should find a new clinic. A good clinic will prepare you for success by giving you the right nutrition, behavioral, and exercise support before and after surgery. If you view these steps as a hassle, then you are not in the right mindset for surgery and will be at high risk of weight regain in the long run.

3. If it is in the back of your mind that if it doesn’t work you will just try it again.

Even though people like Carnie Wilson had a second surgery, keep in mind that most people do not. Some surgeons will not want to do a second surgery for you. In fact, they may lose hope in you. Surgeons want to set you up for success. They might not want to take the risk of an additional surgery unless they are very sure you did not squander the results of the first surgery with a blatantly unhealthy lifestyle. Surgery is an intensive and invasive process, only plan to do it once.

4. You Haven’t Truly Made Committed Attempts to Lose Weight.

One of the criteria to be eligible for surgery is that you have had numerous failed weight loss attempts. Nearly everyone on the planet meets this criterion, right?! Well, no. If you can’t honestly say that you put your heart and soul into previous weight loss attempts, then you aren’t really meeting this criterion. If your reason for not losing weight in previous attempts was because you were too busy or stressed out to make lifestyle changes, these problems will not go away with surgery. You will need to make the very same lifestyle changes. The difference will be that regaining the weight you lost from surgery will be 10 times more demoralizing than it is from a usual diet attempt. Once again, if you aren’t committed to making lifestyle changes, surgery will not make a long lasting difference.

[sophiepants 489]

Very good read Laura!! Great advice for newbie's!!

[Butterflyhigh 504]

Very very good post. Laura-ven, I always appreciate the insight that you share with the rest of us. It has been very helpful to me personally.

I am still pre-op and haven't yet scheduled my appointment because I realize that all of the above statements are true.

It will not be easy.

It is not a lifetime guarantee against weight gain.

It is ultimately up to me making good choices regardless of the size of my stomach.

I have been kicking this idea around for more than two years, and very very seriously for the past eight or so months. I am slowly working through each of my mental stumbling blocks wanting to make 100% sure that this is the right decision/time for me. I am currently at about 98% sure....there are just two remaining little nagging worries I am dealing with.

One thing that strikes me as....silly, I guess...is the newbie posts around here about how they are disregarding their surgeons recommendations in favor of their own "common sense" version. I mean, if their personal version of healthy living was accurate they wouldn't have had to resort to WLS, right? I am actually thankful to those people's arrogance opinions because it reminds me of the importance of the MENTAL changes that I need to make in order to have lifelong success with my sleeve.

[No game 14,437]

One thing I never say is "88 pounds gone forever"

Lol I don't want to jinx myself

But I'm also aware that it's not an guarantee that it will stay gone..

As for common sense and listening to our bodies? Yep tried that.. Now I surrender myself to the process, and my surgeons guidelines.

Well expect for coffee.. But I waited 4 months

I think a bit of hard scary reality is vital to being successful on this journey.

We need to work on our heads! And our relationship to food!!

Priority number one! Our heads, not the surgery

I know some here think that certain people here are meanies (like me sometimes) when they rain on their food parades. And well sorry but I'm only trying to help people be armed with facts so that they have every chance there is to be successful

I,like you read what those crusty old vets had to say when I was a newbie.

It scared me yes, but my eyes were wide open going into this. And for that I am thankful.

Very very good post. Laura-ven, I always appreciate the insight that you share with the rest of us. It has been very helpful to me personally. I am still pre-op and haven't yet scheduled my appointment because I realize that all of the above statements are true. It will not be easy. It is not a lifetime guarantee against weight gain. It is ultimately up to me making good choices regardless of the size of my stomach. I have been kicking this idea around for more than two years, and very very seriously for the past eight or so months. I am slowly working through each of my mental stumbling blocks wanting to make 100% sure that this is the right decision/time for me. I am currently at about 98% sure....there are just two remaining little nagging worries I am dealing with. One thing that strikes me as....silly, I guess...is the newbie posts around here about how they are disregarding their surgeons recommendations in favor of their own "common sense" version. I mean, if their personal version of healthy living was accurate they wouldn't have had to resort to WLS, right? I am actually thankful to those people's arrogance opinions because it reminds me of the importance of the MENTAL changes that I need to make in order to have lifelong success with my sleeve.

Edited December 26, 2013 by laura-ven

[Mrs.RRn 2,110]

5. And if you think this will make you like the way you look...

[sophiepants 489]

I know some here think that certain people here are meanies (like me sometimes) when they rain on their food parades. And well sorry but I'm only trying to help people be armed with facts so that they have every chance there is to be successful
I,like you read what those crusty old vets had to say when I was a newbie.
It scared me yes, but my eyes were wide open going into this. And for that I am thankful.

I think your NO mean person.

What I do think is if you (and everyone else) stopped telling some people here that what they are doing is not OK in the world of our surgery, more people here would be hurt or hurting themselves.

It seems to me that it's an old fight, people justifying or needing someone else to justify eating the way they want. However I think that they overstep themselves by saying that it's ok for other's to do it too. Gah not sure where I was going but I just wanna spit. LOL

I also think that a lot of people here do not have their heads in the game so to speak when It comes to the life style change that must happen. As you said we ( and I mean MOST of us) have gone through all you have said above. This is not a cute fad but life or death for most of us.

I see your frustration my friend!

I'm not perfect...NOPE never have been, I also am "NEW" to my lifestyle. Have I failed myself in my eating in my short 4 months...sure but I sure as hell don't try to justify myself by have people jump on my wagon of faults and tell me it's ok. Hell no. I know I did wrong to myself personally. Is it ok to have a cookie, slice of cake, ect....if you can control it why not. But fact is most of us can not. Hints why we had this surgery.

I know this is in so many other threads...but it's a re-a-curing issue. And I love your topic miss lady!

Edited December 26, 2013 by sophiepants

[sophiepants 489]

Oh and 88 pounds is amazing woman!!! Great Job!

[JeanZ_RN 378]

Laura-ven, your post should be required reading for every person considering WLS!! I have a friend who had the band and was not successful, and is now considering sleeve vs RNY. I'm concerned that she may be thinking one of these surgeries will be a magic bullet, and I'm going to send her your post.

Your posts are always on point and also to the point, both of which I appreciate a LOT! Your weight loss success and your approach are inspiring!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

.... I know some here think that certain people here are meanies (like me sometimes) when they rain on their food parades..

As a fellow meanie, I want to add that it's not about dashing peoples hopes or raining on their parades....it's about reality. The reality is 90% of the folks on this forum are either pre-op or still in the honeymoon stage. It's startling how things change once that honeymoon phase is over. No words can prepare you. One day it's so easy and the next day it's like you were never sleeved almost. And at that point it all falls on you. And you realize that the real tool is not the sleeve, it's the new behaviors you learned during the early months. The new lifestyle. The new healthy approach to life. If you don't embrace those things, it's gonna get tough down the line for you.

[mythbuster1304 10]

Honest question, where did you fit into those four statements before your surgery?

[No game 14,437]

Honest question, where did you fit into those four statements before your surgery?

Not sure if you are talking to me or butter??

But It depends on how long before the surgery you are asking about.. Years? I thought like most people that it was a cure and end all be all.. But the months leading up to it??

1. If I thought it's a magic bullet?

No I went through years of therapy leading up to this and had to meet certain criteria and be evaluated by an outside therapist.

2. Did I think it would be easy?

Hell no! I'm an expert at dieting I've lost this weight so many times. I've always "finished" my diets and then ate like a "normal" person. The thing that I learned going into this from my surgeon, therapist and nut is this is for the long haul. There is now "end" if I truly want to succeed this time..

Also I can never eat (sleeve or no sleeve) like a naturally skinny person. The surgeon let me know that the smaller stomach was only one part of the equation.

I, me, Laura was the other part.

3. Is it in the back of my mind that if it doesn’t work I will just try it again?

No! This is my last stop, this is by far the most radical thing that I have done. If I don't succeed after this? short of a lobotomy nothing will help. It's in my head not my stomach

4. Have I Truly Made Committed Attempts to Lose Weight? Yes so many times....

I still meet with my surgeon I will continue my relationship with him. And I learn more and more every time...

Edited December 26, 2013 by laura-ven

[NMJG 1,266]

Thanks, Laura, this is a good time to remind people. It's so sad when you see the same posters first start off with "i cheated on my pre-op," then "I think balance and moderation are the key and I can't deny myself or I will fail," then you see "I'm not losing much anymore and gained a little," etc. it never ends and we can never act like naturally thin people. We have our own "normal," and it looks different than other folks.

[gomekast 559]

As a fellow meanie, I want to add that it's not about dashing peoples hopes or raining on their parades....it's about reality. The reality is 90% of the folks on this forum are either pre-op or still in the honeymoon stage. It's startling how things change once that honeymoon phase is over. No words can prepare you. One day it's so easy and the next day it's like you were never sleeved almost. And at that point it all falls on you. And you realize that the real tool is not the sleeve, it's the new behaviors you learned during the early months. The new lifestyle. The new healthy approach to life. If you don't embrace those things, it's gonna get tough down the line for you.

I've tried to read every post you vets (or meanies as some call you guys)have commented on. I have since I began my process back in July.

I appreciate your insight.

But like Laura said earlier, I've tried every other diet before considering this. I failed them all because my body had too many issues abd just wouldn't let the weight go.

I've also done the head work and continue to do the head work.

I feel sad for the people that say others are mean for not agreeing with the food rebellion posts.

I know what to expect out of myself. I really feel that all of my double digit failed attempts helped prepare myself for this post op world. I'm 10 weeks this week and things are changing. .I feel it. I see it.

I'm terrified to fail this. .like so many times before. But what makes this different is just that, those failed attempts taught me a heck of a lot.

I'm very particular about following my plan. I did have a small cookie for Christmas but I took one small bite and gave the rest to my husband or sister. That was it. That one bite was all I would allow. Been back to my plan and will diligently stay the course. I've lost 54 pounds so far but have give or take 70-80 more to go.

The guidance you and Laura have silently given me is something that I consider to be part of my program. If I could hug you both I would.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

That's right, Gomekast. I'm 9 weeks and the shifting time is here. Part of it is that we're out of the baby steps (the liquids, the mushies) and part is that most of us feel so much more "normal" at this point.

But we're not. Or, we shouldn't be. I tested a little yesterday…and by that I mean I didn't measure my food. I paid for it. I can't do that. Glad I know.

Anyway, most people don't like being "told what to do." And many of us have to personally test the limits. But I have to believe we will be successful only if we really take it seriously.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

....... we can never act like naturally thin people. We have our own "normal," and it looks different than other folks.

Yes yes yes.....for the love of god yes! Thank you and goodnight.