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The Downside Of Major Weight Loss



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When I met my husband I was curvy, he says it's what he was attracted to at first sight. I noticed that he really hadn't been saying a whole lot about how I looked now and I thought it was strange but didn't give much thought. When I told him that reached 70 lbs lost, again, not much was said. So I pressed him for his thoughts.

Now that I'm a baggy size 9 and feeling healthy he tells me I'm too thin and he would like me to put on 20 lbs. um what? For one, it's not possible to gain weight given the small amounts I'm restricted to eat. And two, why would I want to? I'm mere pounds from my goal weight and the size I was before children. I just can't do it, he'll have accept me the size I am.

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Patty I can totally relate... When I met my husband I was about a size 16. He thought I was soo sexy then and he likes bigger women!! Now I might wear a size 4 soaking wet! While he has never told me he finds me unattractive I have lost all the assets he loved most about my body. My once size DD breast now look like small shriveled raisins that are probably a C cup and my rear that was soo perky and huge is flat and saggy.. There is nothing attractive about my body anymore!!! But, never once has he told me anything but how much he loves me and that I'm still beautiful to him... Although I don't totally believe that I can't say much in retort because at least he is trying to make me feel good... He knows there isn't anything I can do about my weightloss or my figure. I think in some ways it's hard for our spouses to go through the process as well because maybe they weren't aware things would change soo much.

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That's one thing I worry about like will I like the way I look once I'm smaller, I know my hubby will be use he is a trainer so he wants this for me more than I do! But theirs that question still in the back of my head!

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Even though this is ones own personal journey if you are married or have children this is going to change their lives also, as we move thru this process we are so focused on ourselves (nothing wrong with that) that we tend to not realize that this will effect your relationships around you. The ones closest to you love you and support you but who supports them? Some marriages dont survive this, some get stronger.. we can only be true to ourselves, but dont forget them in the process

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I worry, too, and have insecurities. I was once a very fit person, and I want my body to look the way it did 20 years ago...lol, not realistic! My husband says he's fine with my body just as he was fine when I was fat. He loves me, and I realize it's my insecurity that drives me crazy.

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At the end of the day there is nothing I can do about how he feels. He just needs to put on his big boy pants and suck it up. The surgery literally saved my life. I had out of control diabetes and now my glucose levels are normal, if I gain weight I run the risk of the levels rising again and that's just not an option.

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Even though this is ones own personal journey if you are married or have children this is going to change their lives also, as we move thru this process we are so focused on ourselves (nothing wrong with that) that we tend to not realize that this will effect your relationships around you. The ones closest to you love you and support you but who supports them? Some marriages dont survive this, some get stronger.. we can only be true to ourselves, but dont forget them in the process

WE support them. A good program also supports them. Mine allows family members to be a part of the education process pre-op. My support group allows family to attend and participate every third month post-op. I share all my information w/my hubby. He asks when he has questions. We are a team. Without him it would be harder to be successful, and maintain the success I've had so far. :-)

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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