I've chosen not to tell people about my WLS...only my immediate family knows and 4 friends total. I've had many people recently comment and compliment me on my weight loss so far. Usually, I say thanks and keep on going. But there are always those people who ask "what are you doing". And I stumble a bit to answer. Sometimes I just want to say I had WLS...but then I think....sometimes when I say those words "weight loss surgery" I feel like it negates all my hard work over the past 2 1/2 months since being banded.

Its kind of like when you say WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY...you had surgery and now your weight is and will be fixed! It makes it sound so "simple"...that all the hard work and dedication, and all the rules to follow won't matter to anyone. They will say "oh she needed that surgery to lose her weight".

I'm not sure if this is making any sense...just something I have been thinking more about since people are now noticing and commenting on the 55 lbs I have lost. My attitude/mood has changed and I'm dressing differently and even finding 5 mins in the morning to apply some makeup. I feel so much better physically and emotionally and am more confident in myself and I just feel good about ME!

So, I often hold back and dont say anything about having WLS when they ask. I tell them high Protein and smaller portions and that is it. Sometimes, I feel embarrassed/ashamed that I got to the point in my life where I had to "resort" to surgery. I'm glad I did this and I regret not a minute of it...EVER! These are just some feelings I've been sorting through....

But I think maybe a better name would be ....IMPROVEMENT SURGERY!!

Wow ! You guys rock with the "standing up for my self attitude !!" Great job ! I have never received a single negitive comment in the 2 yrs that ive been banded ( Dec 13th, 2011 ! ) , just great positive remarks and compliments . I put WLS in the same catagory as I would if ihad to get braces, if it was needed for my health and future to get braces , no one would think twice or say anything negative . Well you cant fix bad teeth by yourself and some times you cant fix a weight prob by itself either. I truly feel blessed that lap band was available to me as it literally gave me my life back, but im the one that exercises 3 -4 x a week, eats healthy 95 % of the time, and follows my drs orders. So its definetly not " the easy way out!" Down 65 lbs , 20 more to go ! Woohoo !!

Different personalities require different approaches. I have been very open about my WLS because I REFUSE to give anyone false hope, that all you have to do is move more and eat less. I have struggled with being fat since I was six years old, trying every diet under the sun, loosing and gaining, each time more heavy than the last. The people that ask me "How did you do it" are generally looking for a magic bullet, and I am quick to tell them that WLS isn't it. But that it has made the difference in my life.

Easy way out? Monitoring my food intake? Well, I would consider both of those as rude, and I have a very low tolerance for rudeness.

I often wonder if it is a Male/Female thing though. When my wife and I got married 15 years ago, the reaction of my co-workers was total joy for me, they couldn't have been happier. The reaction of my wife's co-workers was "Let me tell you all the horror stories of failed marriages and the dangers of marrying a divorced man".

I plan to say...my weight was adversely affecting my health thus, my pcp referred me to a weight loss specialist who provided a tool to assist in controlling my weight.

It makes me sort of sad to hear people say they are embarrassed not only with having wls but with the way they look. I've still got a long way to go but I'm not embarrassed by the way I look. I wasn't embarrassed at my highest weight of 365 either. If I'm not comfortable and happy with who I am right now I don't think I would be happy at my ideal weight. I realized a long time ago that the number on the scale will not determine who I am and how I feel on the inside. I also don't mind telling most people that I've had wls. If I can help just one person through hearing my story then it's worth it to me.

I plan to say...my weight was adversely affecting my health thus, my pcp referred me to a weight loss specialist who provided a tool to assist in controlling my weight.

Haha! Cute!

But saying this or anything at all, and if ur friends and family are anything like mine, they'll instantly become overnight Nutritionists & wont hesitate to let u know ur food choices & portions are all wrong!

And when u've not lost the weight in 30 days or less theyll think your wls was a waste of time and money.

Once u say uve had wls, everyone (in my case) will expect an instant transformation.

went in for a fill today & had all the fluid withdrawn to find that I'm not at 8.3cc's (the fill level documented in my chart) at all....

I was actually at 6.4cc's...what a big difference right?

Well I return in 2wks to see:

#1) If the 6.4 is still there OR if its vanishing into thin air over time, ie a LEAK....

OR

#2) If my prior fillers weren't actually filling my band.

She said once the needle is beneath the skin its a hit or miss!

Now how would I explain this to friends & family who are not banded when they ask the famous question "how much weight have u lost" & "You know why you're not losing weight right?" (2 of my very favorite)

My point is, once you've spilled the beans be prepared to explain yourself & answer to all the spectating "Food Police"

She said once the needle is beneath the skin its a hit or miss!

Hi Pepper,

I would not accept this as an answer, the doctor should know if they are in the port or not. I have had a miss before, but they withdrew the needle and made sure it was in the port before pushing the fill in.

They can check by pulling a bit out first and then putting it and the rest of the fill back.

I would not be happy to have had to go through taking all the fluid out and then filling it back in. (just saying)

I do get questions "are you losing weight" "you look great, how's it going" stuff like that and I just say I'm great thanks how are you doing?

I don't let anyone be my monitor, I'm a grown woman and if someone wanted to take care of me and monitor my habits they would have to buy me a 2 carat diamond first before I would even consider it. Just ask my hubby!

^@lisacaron

^{I don't let anyone be my monitor, I'm a grown woman and if someone wanted to take care of me and monitor my habits they would have to buy me a 2 carat diamond first before I would even consider it.}

^{LOVE IT!!!!!}

^{U just don't know how long I've been dying to say this (and a couple other not so nice words) to my meddling Mother in Law!!!}

^{My friends and coworkers my age, I can handle....}

I haven't had my surgery yet but knowing the issues I've had in the past, I sure thought I was going to get nothing but positive responses but NOPE!!!! I was shot down and the smile wiped right off my face with the reactions I got.

I even officially lost a friend over this. She feels like I should continue to suffer on yo yo diets with her forever just because her insurance doesn't cover it. She told me I don't need surgery we can fix this but your weight is from your 3 month old and can go away with work, mine is from a lifetime of damage and I need to lose way more than her lil 40lbs.

I've decided not to tell anyone else, I cried. It hurt to learn that people may only support you as long as your in a bad situation right along with them...smh.

@mskeekee01

If I cld do it all over again I'd go for the sleeve.

#1 there's no monthly adjustments searching for a mythical green zone I'm not even sure really exists

#2 w/the sleeve, restriction and your diet begins the next day, out of surgery

and yes, misery does love company...

I've been on the slippery slope of dieting my entire life. if I did muster up the discipline to lose it, I'd always always regain it all back....

so do what works best for you and no one else...don't let her influence your weight loss decisions.

I wish I'd done it sooner I'd probably be at goal weight by now instead of toying around w/this diet and the next.

also, which ever you decide, don't tell anybody, unless you're ready to explain the good and the bad (the bad is often harder to explain)

Just let them look up one day, and say hey!! You're losing weight...only then you can fill them in on whatever you had done...if you so choose...

People don't understand WLS unless they go to meetings and talk to others. It is not an easy way out. It is a tool that has to be worked with. If your car doesn't have gas and oil, that tool won't take you out of the driveway. If we don't oil our tool and baby it like our cars it won't get us to 80 or 90 or older. My family, both sides, live until 90-100 and I would like only if I am healthy and with my tool The Band, I feel I may make it to 90. My mother is 95, mind is gone but very healthy.

As far as telling friends or family, I only told my very close family before and after the Band told very few people. I still don't like sharing my personal life. I have had people ask why I don't eat more and I say i have plenty of food thank you. I don't share my pounds lost with anyone but my husband. If I told my sons then they would have to lie when asked because I wouldn't share that number. I was huge, bigger than I ever thought, 268 when I started and that number will never be told to anyone.

Yesterday on Wendy Williams, Rubeun Studdard was on and he said WLS is the easy way out. How wrong is that???? All his years of dieting have not been successful. He needs major help and being young, this is the time to get the help, not when you are over 60, like me.

So everyone, I got carried away, sorry. But don't tell people about WLS unless they are your partner in life. After the surgery, then when it is too late, then tell others and tell them off if they don't approve. Your body, not theirs.

Have a warm day. It is very cold in Boston.

Arlene

@dylanmiles23

I saw that episode w/reuben studdard and Wendy Williams's lap band advice.

She also said that the band was not working for some other political official guy up north, who has not lost a ton of weight in a short time.

so announcing to the world that you're on any diet plan or surgery automatically places you under the spot light. From then on out, you're on Weight loss Watch

If you don't lose, they judge you, if you don't lose it fast enough, they judge you..

if you lose too much, or too soon, they judge you..

even my very own partner has his opinions, he shld keep to himself...

Be proud super proud of your WLS. I am scheduled next month and can not wait! I'm ready to blast it regardless of what other ppl say! Ppl will talk no matter what you do. Good luck!

Lol, I am very honest with myself and with others. I was banded Sept 17 and have gone from 259 to 203 pounds (I was weighed in this morning as I am getting B12 shots) and My band (named Destiny) remains unrestricted.

I want people to know that there are options and the lap band along with an amazing bariatric team loosing weight can happen. My walk is not perfect, but I am really dedicated and I look forward to what is ahead.

@dylanmiles23

I saw that episode w/reuben studdard and Wendy Williams's lap band advice.

She also said that the band was not working for some other political official guy up north, who has not lost a ton of weight in a short time.

so announcing to the world that you're on any diet plan or surgery automatically places you under the spot light. From then on out, you're on Weight loss Watch

If you don't lose, they judge you, if you don't lose it fast enough, they judge you..

if you lose too much, or too soon, they judge you..

even my very own partner has his opinions, he shld keep to himself...

Reuben Studdard shouldn't be talking at all about taking the easy way out with WLS. He could use a little intervention himself. The politician Wendy was talking about is Chris Christie..the governor of New Jersey. He used the same surgeon as I did....and no...I've never seen him sitting in the waiting room for a fill...LOL! Anyway, I haven't seen any recent pics of him and it's true..the pics I have seen don't show a huge difference between Christie's before and after shots, but if he is struggling...it just goes to show you that anyone, public or private, can find WLS challenging.