I've chosen not to tell people about my WLS...only my immediate family knows and 4 friends total. I've had many people recently comment and compliment me on my weight loss so far. Usually, I say thanks and keep on going. But there are always those people who ask "what are you doing". And I stumble a bit to answer. Sometimes I just want to say I had WLS...but then I think....sometimes when I say those words "weight loss surgery" I feel like it negates all my hard work over the past 2 1/2 months since being banded.

Its kind of like when you say WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY...you had surgery and now your weight is and will be fixed! It makes it sound so "simple"...that all the hard work and dedication, and all the rules to follow won't matter to anyone. They will say "oh she needed that surgery to lose her weight".

I'm not sure if this is making any sense...just something I have been thinking more about since people are now noticing and commenting on the 55 lbs I have lost. My attitude/mood has changed and I'm dressing differently and even finding 5 mins in the morning to apply some makeup. I feel so much better physically and emotionally and am more confident in myself and I just feel good about ME!

So, I often hold back and dont say anything about having WLS when they ask. I tell them high Protein and smaller portions and that is it. Sometimes, I feel embarrassed/ashamed that I got to the point in my life where I had to "resort" to surgery. I'm glad I did this and I regret not a minute of it...EVER! These are just some feelings I've been sorting through....

But I think maybe a better name would be ....IMPROVEMENT SURGERY!!

I told the world, and got a few negative comments, but I am too old to care and now 85 pounds down. Hold your head up and work the band and the program your doctor gives you.

I am a newbie but tell people if they ask. For me, I am proud of my decision. Plus, I feel like it helps me be more accountable. Also if the asker is a person with a weight struggle, I don't want them to walk away from the conversation thinking they are yet again a failure bc they can't manage to eat small portions. I want them to understand I have help.

Me, on the other hand, who have told family & friends that I was having WLS, and ive gotta tell them ive lost nothing, they call me periodically jst to ask how much weight I've lost or when they see me, they expect to see a smaller frame and are disappointed and say its something im not doing when all along ive just been getting "fills" for 4 months straight.

And its hard to explain adjustments to folks without lapband surgery.

They dont understand restriction isnt immediately outta surgery.

Edited December 7, 201312 yr by Pepper28

Like you I told a very few people . When people ask I tell them I work out 6 days a week the truth and eat 1200 calories a day the truth the end I

Omit the band helps keep me In check. Does it matter hoe I'm getting healthy nope as long as I am.when people ask how much I post I say enough to buy clothes or a small child. Lol this is my journey and I will reveal facts and details as I see appropriate. This is my time to work on me !!!!

Of course on this forum I sing from the roof tops my issues problems victories and weight loss. Hell you all know how much I weigh and I haven't even told my sister who knows everything about me except my weight. lol

You are so right, I measure carefully who knows about my wls. Close friends, who I have known for years, know, but new friends mostly do not! I, like you, have heard people who think that wls is the easy way. I have a close friend that has been able to lose her weight on her own. She has many health issues and doctors that have given her no choice in the matter. But, she has done it without wls. Hurray for her, and she is one that knows about my band. However, she knows weightloss is not easy and wls is the answer for many. She would not have survived wls! Best wishes to everyone, Karen

Edited December 8, 201312 yr by kll724

The LAST thing I want post-surgery is people judging my progress. What a drag that would be.

I've lost and gained weight innumerable times in my life. Everyone who's known me longer than two years has seen me fat and seen me not fat. For me, this is a last-ditch effort to overcome this monster.

For that reason, I plan NOT to tell friends / clients / acquaintances about the surgery. I'm willing to be accountable -- but to myself, not random people who know me.

What's been interesting to me is the urge I have to confide in the same people I don't want to know about it, even when I have determined it's not the right thing for me to do. I wonder what that's about.

I've started telling a few more as I start getting closer my goal. I'm not embarrassed by the fact that I had to have surgery to help with my weight loss, but I am a little frustrated by the fact that I don't have full control, even now. But I know people who take aides to help them stop smoking and doing drugs and I figure, hey what ever gets the job done. Eventually as B52 said, they forget that you were obese and see you as you are now. I occasionally have people ask me about the surgery and I know their curiosity is genuine sometimes they even need some answers. I only knew 2 people who had had it before I got mine and they were very valuable and inspiring to me. If I can help someone not have to face the rest of their lives feeling like I did, I'll be glad to help. As for those who judge, who cares about them?

Well I had to tell my boyfriend because i needed a ride to & from the hospital.

He told his mother & she told her sisters.

So when they see me for Thanksgiving & im still the same weight its discouraging.

When someone says theyve had lap band surgery they expect to see a changed person especially after 4 months.

What they dont know is restriction isnt immediate anymore & that theres months of fills uve gotta endure.

If i had an ounce of discipline I wldnt hve had the surgery.

Any loss before the green zone is primarily due to our our very own eating habits & exercise.

So it isnt jst abt them judging. Its abt me feeling like ive let them down & myself.

If I cld fill this band myself I would, but i cant.

If i wasnt so hungry, I wld diet more.

Don't be discouraged! Pretty soon the weight will come off. I go through periods of time where it's like this body that I have wants me to hold onto this weight. I will be eating very well, drinking my water, exercising and I go up and down with about 3 pounds - then I'll lose and have a losing streak. Also make sure that you are consuming enough protein. When I don't consume enough protein I don't lose my weight as fast. *you are probably losing inches also - so don't discount that - because that is progress!!!!

I shout it from the roof tops, sing it from the mountain side. I don't care who knows about my surgery. The reason I feel this way is because I am proud of myself and my husband for having the courage and conviction to care enough about ourselves to do something about our health.

People will talk about you if you are fat or skinny if you had weight loss surgery or if the newest Oreo cookie diet helped you shed 100 pounds.

I don't care what people think about me I know how I feel and that's AMAZING!

I do understand why you would want to keep that secret to yourself, and I applaud you for doing it!

Listening to peoples comments or questions is never easy but like Chase said for me it's life improvement surgery! I look at it as if it were open heart surgery! That would help a cardiac patient have a better quality and quantity to their life, and for me that's what WLS has done!

I'd wear a gold pin (cause I just love me some jewelry!) that said I had weight loss surgery. I'd put a banner on my car, or broadcast it over the airwaves, to educate the ignorant question asking comment making population and if it helped even one person that was like me to make a choice for a better longer healthier life I'd be more then happy to let the world know.

My husband doesn't feel the same way. He likes to keep things quiet, and he doesn't share his story unless someone asks him and honestly has an interest. I understand his feelings, and I respect them as I do each of yours as well.

I am proud of you all no matter what you decide to share or not! You have made a commitment to yourself and that's what matters!

Listen a prime example why you don't tell people is what happened to me. I was working in a hospital for ten years and everyone that worked on my floor knew I was having surgery. When I came back to work I felt like I had 50 food monitors. Are you supposed to eat that. That isn't enough food, yada yada yada it became very annoying until one day I just exploded on them and told them I don't need any or your approvals of what I can and can not eat. Stop looking at my food and go do your damn job. When I moved to Jacksonville I told no one that I had wls because they just think I eat like a bird. If you don't want people to stand over you and monitor your every bite then don't let them know. Another thing that drove me crazy was how much weight did you lose this week. Again another blow up I said it's none of your damn business. It was so annoying I was glad to meet my husband and move away. Even my coworkers that I am friends with on facebook from there I know look at my pictures to see if I really am doing good not that they care how I am.

Listen a prime example why you don't tell people is what happened to me. I was working in a hospital for ten years and everyone that worked on my floor knew I was having surgery. When I came back to work I felt like I had 50 food monitors. Are you supposed to eat that. That isn't enough food, yada yada yada it became very annoying until one day I just exploded on them and told them I don't need any or your approvals of what I can and can not eat. Stop looking at my food and go do your damn job. When I moved to Jacksonville I told no one that I had wls because they just think I eat like a bird. If you don't want people to stand over you and monitor your every bite then don't let them know. Another thing that drove me crazy was how much weight did you lose this week. Again another blow up I said it's none of your damn business. It was so annoying I was glad to meet my husband and move away. Even my coworkers that I am friends with on facebook from there I know look at my pictures to see if I really am doing good not that they care how I am.

Ooof Cher that just stinks! I would have done the same thing you did. I have to say I'm very lucky...or maybe it's just the F'off or I'll cook you look on my face that keeps people from being my food monitors, or asking me dumb questions like how much did you lose this week.

I'm only kidding I don't give off that vibe at all it's all warm and fuzzy over here...my friends can attest to that! (grins wickedly)

I think only one person here at work asked me that question, and she is one of the founding members of the organization and a bandster as well, so I answered and now we are friends. No one knew she was banded and she was hiding here all the time now she has someone to turn to and cover when things just don't go down right

At home..my in laws can be a bit intrusive but they know my hubby does not like it AT ALL so now they just say hey you two look great! We say thanks, and how are you doing...and move on to something else.

Omg! Yess!! U ladies have jst summed up the last 4months of my life.

Every one's become my food monitor. None of them have had lap band nor wls at all.

I've become a closet eater even if my meal has no carbs theyre all around poking and asking questions about the portion size.

And theres no polite way to say leave me alone!

I wish I'd not told anyone anything & jst wait until the weight drop off and have them ask me then how i did it

Thanks to everyone for confirming that the grapevine can eat you alive.

Mum's my word.

Listen a prime example why you don't tell people is what happened to me. I was working in a hospital for ten years and everyone that worked on my floor knew I was having surgery. When I came back to work I felt like I had 50 food monitors. Are you supposed to eat that. That isn't enough food, yada yada yada it became very annoying until one day I just exploded on them and told them I don't need any or your approvals of what I can and can not eat. Stop looking at my food and go do your damn job. When I moved to Jacksonville I told no one that I had wls because they just think I eat like a bird. If you don't want people to stand over you and monitor your every bite then don't let them know. Another thing that drove me crazy was how much weight did you lose this week. Again another blow up I said it's none of your damn business. It was so annoying I was glad to meet my husband and move away. Even my coworkers that I am friends with on facebook from there I know look at my pictures to see if I really am doing good not that they care how I am.

.

Whenever I was on a diet those questions and food monitors appeared. Funny though when I look at the people asking the questions I always felt like they should fix the wY they eat as well even those who weren't overweight . I tell people u eat clean and changed my lifestyle the end. An ap at my school wanted to know when I was going to stop losing. I laughed and said i don't know he doesn't know I was banded hell no one really knows I told only my nearest and dearest and even thAt was questionable loll. I'm shy to say how much I lost because it reminds me of how much I weighed. If y have a doubt keep it to urself cause once you tell one person no controlling who else will know ... Maybe one day ill shout it from the roof tops but for now I keeping my shouting to here