Help! The Mother Is Coming! <Cue Jaws Music>

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

M. Rev, think you need to go with recovering from a dose of the runs. That way, you can say you are being careful and can't eat a lot.

But not sure that explains the weightloss which I think she might clock...

I was thinking of saying I'm on the Atkins diet. No carbs, more meat. Mix it with the GERD and I have to do 6 small meals a day to avoid keeling over...

Now I'm picturing Kim Jong un in a posh frock...awesome

Careful there, that could stir many things in many people!

If she goes to the restroom, get rid of part of it. Have your fiancée sneak bites when she isn't looking!

The man is already my human dustbin, bless him. He has agreed to be complicit in the food disposal exercise

Tell her you are on a diet and like it or not this meal needs to be fish and spinach according to the diet plan. Ask your BF to gulp your wine when Mom momentarily looks away.

The man will NOT be getting my wine. Ever

I hear there is a bit of a stomach bug going around....main symptom just happens to be a small appetite due to nausea. You can trust me, I'm a nurse

Wink wink

I may go for the nervous exhaustion thing.. That normally kicks the intestines into overdrive, doesn't it? <poop poop!>

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Since you've had such awesome success, maybe just tell her you're on a serious, doctor approved low calorie diet and really determined to stick with it? Maybe make a production of looking at the menu online before you go to pick out what's in your calorie budget for dinner or something?

Good luck - I wish my mom were still around to b***h at me

Well, she knows I've been dieting.. She knows I've lost weight. I just don't want her thinking there's something seriously wrong.

And yes, your longing is my greatest fear. That's why I wanted to protect her. Feel for you, honey x

[taylokat 180]

Since your weight loss is obvious, it's not unrealistic to say that you lost weight by totally changing your eating habits...no starches, no alcohol, lots of Protein. I eat out all the time and nobody has ever questioned me. (Only my husband know of my surgery) I take tiny sips of Water and take home 3/4 of my meal all the time. I joke and say my 14 year old is so happy I eat less because he always looks forward to my leftovers!

[DirtyHarriett 94]

If you are like the rest if us, you have been on 50 diets or more. As she will notice your weight loss, tell her you have been on Atkins, or weight watchers or on another "approved" diet and you are sticking to it! No need to tell her you carved up your fine self.

That way the weight loss is explainable and your lite dinner choice would be acceptable. She may even be proud of your accomplishment. (Not that you are seeking that)

And your continued weight loss would be explained and she won't think you have a disease or are "in a family way" lol

Best of luck and do let us know how it goes!

[DirtyHarriett 94]

I suppose I should have read the last page! Lol

[Hidden from view 159]

I may go for the nervous exhaustion thing.. That normally kicks the intestines into overdrive, doesn't it? <poop poop!>

Only if you have staples...

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Okay so what happens if the all knowing brilliant mom actually calls you out on this??? You've lost a lot of weight, you're not eating...are you sick? Did you do something silly and hack off half of a perfectlY healthy stomach?

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I have no idea...

Neither confirm or deny anything, I guess.... First rule of thumb for any defendant!

I think this thread is amusing though. I actually asked for food recommendations and got excellent lessons in avoidance tactics.

Hehe, I concede the inter-family shennanigans are more interesting..

I was just worried about what I can swallow in quantity to make myself 'appear' 'normal' (for a change)

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

We're a sneaky bunch...and proud of it! My mom would assume the worst and be convinced I'm dying of cancer...

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

That's why I 'pre-fed' the line about suffering GERD. This was further corroborated when I went to Ireland recently and said to my Uncle (who speaks to my mother every day without fail) 'Oh, look, you're on the same tablets as me for GERD- omeprazole'.. THAT would have gone back that evening.

My cover story is in place

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I have no idea...

Neither confirm or deny anything, I guess.... First rule of thumb for any defendant!

I think this thread is amusing though. I actually asked for food recommendations and got excellent lessons in avoidance tactics.

Hehe, I concede the inter-family shennanigans are more interesting..

I was just worried about what I can swallow in quantity to make myself 'appear' 'normal' (for a change)

Fine...suggestion....slider food....you can eat a lot before you end up dumping or getting sick..lol

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

It is so hard to keep secrets. Why not tell her about your surgery? If she gets upset then let it be her problem. This was a good choice for you. She might even surprise you. Congrats on your decision.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

Off topic, Revs, I would like to invite you (and our fellow sufferers) to join an imaginary group created by me and some of my friends: ACORN (Adult Children of Registered Nurses.) It's a support group for those of us who grew up under the watchful eyes of an RN. No one but us can understand the joys of never being able to fake illness, of our mothers refusing us medical treatment until we were on death's door or alternatively over-diagnosing us with diseases out of their Merck Manuals. Our motto, stemming from a teenaged car accident that one of my co-founder friends got into, is "Don't Bleed On My Couch."

My story is that when my Water broke in a non-obvious way with my first child, a week early, my parents happened to be busy that weekend (they live 700 miles away.) My mother's reaction to this was, "Oh honey. I'm sure it's nothing. Don't go over to Labor and Delivery and bother the nurses." I ignored this sage advice. C was born 10-12 hours later.

[Susysleever 265]

Since your weight loss is obvious, it's not unrealistic to say that you lost weight by totally changing your eating habits...no starches, no alcohol, lots of Protein. I eat out all the time and nobody has ever questioned me. (Only my husband know of my surgery) I take tiny sips of Water and take home 3/4 of my meal all the time. I joke and say my 14 year old is so happy I eat less because he always looks forward to my leftovers!

What? No alcohol? Excuse me ?

[taylokat 180]

LOL I hate the taste of alcohol and I can't remember the last time I drank it. The closest I get is eating chicken Marsala!