Help! The Mother Is Coming! <Cue Jaws Music>

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Okay, guys. I need your learned assistance.

My Mother is visiting.. (ergo the Jaws music - or, if you prefer - a bit of Carl Orf)

She doesn't know I've had surgery. No one knows, apart from my Fiance. (My choice, and with very good reasons for keeping it from her)

Anyhooo... There will be a requirement to attend a very nice restaurant at some point, as we have something to Celebrate.< /p>

I will not be able to get out of this. I will, however, be able to select the restaurant.

Since being 'done', I have eaten out at mid-level eateries. However, I have been in the presence of fellow sleevers/RNY-ers or my Fiance. Consequently and in those circumstances, I can 'pick' at will and eat as little as I like without anyone turning a hair.< /p>

My Mother, is different.

She is a hawk-eye. She will undoubtedly notice in the first instance that I've shed a load of weight. This will undoubtedly result in her analysing everything I eat and drink - to make sure that I haven't got some secret disease or am pregnant or something.

She's an ex-nurse, incredibly bright and has 'street-smarts' - so I'm not going to be able to BS my way through this one very easily.

I have tried a variety of foods and some I can eat more of than others. Clearly, dense Protein is hefty and fills you up quickly. However, I need to find a meal that is light and in being so, allows me to fanny around with it over a period of time and look like I've eaten a 'decent' sized meal accordingly.

I can't order a starter and be done with it - it has to be a main meal. I would also look odd to order a salad - given that it is approaching zero degrees here.

I don't like a lot of fish (and she knows I'm not a fan, so to order it would appear out of character). And for reference, it would unlikely be a an asian/chinese/thai restaurant we'd go to - more French/European.

Any suggestions folks?

I'd be grateful for any inspiration -at all - 'cause I'm bamboozled and starting to freak out just a little bit.

I can just imagine the mini 'show down' in the restaurant if she even smelt the whiff of deception.... :ph34r:

[UK Cathy 977]

Soup for starter , eAt a couple of mouthfuls and say you don't like it. Pick a main you like eat he Protein and push me veg around saying that the soup put you off!

[No game 14,437]

Well shit all I ever eat out is sashimi... Guess that's out for you

Girl, couldn't you bring her to one of those real swanky French restaurants.. You know the ones that serve you an artfully put together plate that would only feed a gnat and cost a million dollars that most normal people would have to stop at Micky D's after for a meal cause they'd be starving

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

That's canny, Cathy! I like it!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Mais Oui, Laura!

However, those meals denote a number of courses, require a fair amount of time (my mum is old and doesn't like to fanny around)... and my man would be like 'erm, where's my dinner at?'

[blondegal_ 1,028]

How about just telling her? Tell her you withheld the info as you wanted it to be in person. It's done, you're doing well, and there's no need to discuss it as there's no going back. Say you are ready to Celebrate and while you will join her for a meal eating a large amount of food is not necessary to truly celebrate. Won't be easy but I think you've already taken the biggest step by getting surgery. Best of luck.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

The thing that would tip her off is the no drinking while you eat.....That will be the tough part....Everyone drinks while they eat except us...lol

You can handle the small portions fine by moving it around your plate and saying you are exhausted from a long day..or you did not get much sleep the night before.....But if she is a s smart as you say she is..She will know something is up...You need to have your reply ready and practiced if you don't want to spill the Beans.....

When I order dinner in a restaurant and say I will order a drink later everyone looks at me like I have 2 heads...I want my tea hot and if I order it as the same time as dinner it gets cold....So I put up with the shocked look!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

How about just telling her? Tell her you withheld the info as you wanted it to be in person. It's done, you're doing well, and there's no need to discuss it as there's no going back. Say you are ready to Celebrate and while you will join her for a meal eating a large amount of food is not necessary to truly celebrate. Won't be easy but I think you've already taken the biggest step by getting surgery. Best of luck.

Thank you for the best wishes. Truly. However, if I told her I'd gone through with it? Without taking her counsel? The morphine/anesthesia taking me from this mortal coil during surgery would have been preferable to what she would unleash!!

[NMJG 1,266]

Mmm, Cassoulet? Beans go down easy and you could pick around the meats. cheese Souffle? Assiette Anglais - pate etc goes down easy. Quiche? Seems like lunch could be easier than dinner, any chance you could do it mid day instead of evening?

[No game 14,437]

How about just telling her? Tell her you withheld the info as you wanted it to be in person. It's done, you're doing well, and there's no need to discuss it as there's no going back. Say you are ready to Celebrate and while you will join her for a meal eating a large amount of food is not necessary to truly celebrate. Won't be easy but I think you've already taken the biggest step by getting surgery. Best of luck.

I like this ^

Really I didn't tell me mom until a week before and it was to late for her to meddle.

As far as my mother Inlaw I didn't tell her till right after and she was pissed and yelled and barked about how dangerous it was.. and why didn't I tell her.. Well because you would of bitched and barked about how dangerous it was

You never saw that old battle axe shut her trap so fast

By the way the mother Inlaw is very proud and tells me every time how good I look

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

The thing that would tip her off is the no drinking while you eat.....That will be the tough part....Everyone drinks while they eat except us...lol

You can handle the small portions fine by moving it around your plate and saying you are exhausted from a long day..or you did not get much sleep the night before.....But if she is a s smart as you say she is..She will know something is up...You need to have your reply ready and practiced if you don't want to spill the Beans.....

When I order dinner in a restaurant and say I will order a drink later everyone looks at me like I have 2 heads...I want my tea hot and if I order it as the same time as dinner it gets cold....So I put up with the shocked look!

To be fair, RJ, i do take sips of Water during my meals - so it wouldn't be that noticeable. Can't do food without it. Me no likey 'dry' eating. I'll have to order a glass of wine though - as I have ALWAYS had wine with dinner when out. The moment I didn't drink, would be the moment that she'd eye me suspiciously. She'd probably assume I were pregnant! Arrrgh!

The 'exhaustion' argument is a good one, as we will have had a very long and excitable day. Combine exhaustion with 'isn't the Soup awful' and I might be onto a winner...

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

I really have no good suggestions just wanted to say you are so screwed . Moms are a smart bunch...RN moms are TERRIFYING!!!! Nothing gets by them. You're either going to have her thinking you've got anorexia you're dying of cancer. Best of luck to you!!! Can't wait to hear the out come!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I like this ^

Really I didn't tell me mom until a week before and it was to late for her to meddle.

As far as my mother Inlaw I didn't tell her till right after and she was pissed and yelled and barked about how dangerous it was.. and why didn't I tell her.. Well because you would of bitched and barked about how dangerous it was

You never saw that old battle axe shut her trap so fast

By the way the mother Inlaw is very proud and tells me every time how good I look

Again, nice in sentiment and I'm glad it worked for you - but absolutely not going to happen in practice.

My Mum is old and has health conditions that preclude me from ever telling her. Her health and wellbeing are more important than my relieving myself of this little secret.

It wouldn't matter how old she is - by my, her baby, not seeking her counsel prior to taking the decision to get carved up on the slab? Her blood pressure would go through the roof. This, is NOT an option.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

i feel for you, i got my in laws at my house in turkey day.......fun fun fun.........

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I would tell you you had a large lunch or a dinner the night before that didn't agree with you. Tell her that you had a bit of water-poo in the day previous and that you need to go easy with some clear broth Soup and perhaps a side salad.