Self Control

[healthbound1 69]

Hi Everyone!

My surgery date is December 4th and as the date is getting closer, I'm feeling a wide mix of emotions. The one I've been feeling most recently is fear. My biggest fear is that I will struggle with self control around healthy food choices after surgery in the same way I struggle now. My stomach size will change and that will force a change in the volume of food I eat, but how can I give myself every opportunity to reign in self control when it comes to food choices? A spoonful of chicken is much different than a spoonfull of ice cream.

What kinds of things are you doing to help deal with your phychological and emotional relationship with food post-surgery?

[caroline2 89]

My surgery is 11-22. I cut out a lot of things prior to mt pre-op diet. I do a lot of self talk. My favorite one is "nothing taste as good as skinny feels". I want to feel better. I'm tired of being fat and everything that goes with it. We are supposed to eat to live, not live to eat. You can do this. You will have so many changes in your life! You are worth it! Take care.

[JessicaAnn 564]

Honestly? I'm 4 months out and still fight it. My BIGGEST mistake was allowing myself to have a bite or two here and there thinking I could control myself. Now I'm craving crap all the time. I'm trying to get myself back on track now. Don't get me wrong, I've still lost 67lbs since surgery and 77 all together, but it would be coming off a lot faster if I didn't allow the crap back into my diet.

[PGee 318]

Good question......I always say whatever issues we had before, we'll deal with afterwards......

I've found the sleeve helps early out......You can eat so very little, that you really have to make Protein and Water your priority.......early out, this isn't so hard to do.....it's the long haul that concerns me...I'm hoping the new healthy habits will become 2nd nature, like flossing.....I'm 3 months out and still feeling like a newbie finding my way

I won't lie.....In the last few weeks I've had a taste of this, a bit of that--I'm talking maybe 1/8 of a teaspoon a day........so I went back to basics and really focusing on what I'm eating.....and hitting my protein/water totals

What helps me is seeing the results-----the 60+ pound weight loss, my knees, hip, back no longer hurting----heck, I'm wearing 3" heals right now----and I haven't been able to wear heals in 23 years.........I'm looking and feeling so much better, going from a 3x to a size Large......I'm more active, do more with the hubby.......the combination of all these things with the restriction helps---plus I never want to go back to where I was.......as a reminder, I keep a picture in my purse of me before the weightloss........if I ever become complacent, I can look back at that picture, and that is all I need---it's not just how I looked, but it's how I felt and the lifestyle I had at that weight

I do have to have ice cream and other unhealthy foods in the house for hubby....he's naturally skinny......I just keep them out of sight......his non parishable junk food is in sealed tuppeware-esq containers in the end table, with the door closed.......the ice cream is in the bottom bin of the fridge (out of sight, out of mind for me)

your sense of smell may change........the other night we were out and about, and there was a table loaded with homemade Desserts........and even with the wonderful smells, it held no tempation what so ever.......good luck, hope this helps

[NMJG 1,266]

Try to stick with the "protein first" rule, it really does help because it fills you up so you are much less interested in bad stuff. For Snacks, make a deal with yourself to eat some deli meat or a hard boiled egg first. I bet by the time you finish it you won't have room for the junk. Also, come here for support. This group is great at helping everyone stay on track. That said, it's a lifelong battle for many of us. I battle it every day.

[clk 3,519]

I see the points behind everything offered here as an idea.

Things like choosing Protein first get harder the farther out you get. Making the choice to go all or nothing on food is a very, very difficult one. Just as many people struggle because they choose the route of abstinence as do because they chose moderation and can't stay in control.

My experience has shown that the single most important thing you can do is get help. Counseling one on one is always your best option but group therapy or a close friend that can relate to disordered eating will also work.

Whatever you've got going on under the food and the weight is something you'll have to confront and work on. It's not just a one time thing, either. I did the bulk of my work in the first year but still have to face issues as they crop up in maintenance.

Self control is critical. Finding what works for you is going to be important. It doesn't have to be what works for other people. I do moderation. I say that 99% of the time I make the great choices. And about 1% of the time it's hard...I make less than ideal choices. But I stay disciplined. I track my food, even on days when I go off the rails and eat anything I want. I weigh daily (it's more important in maintenance than loss to do this) and I never, ever let myself slip into denial about my eating habits.

Because I confront it and acknowledge that I've got a screwed up relationship with food, I'm able to do moderation to an extent that some people cannot. I'm also lucky enough to have only a couple of trigger foods that make me want to go crazy. I avoid those foods except for rare, controlled treats.

It might sound cruel or dismissive but the easiest thing to do is not be dumb. Don't be dumb about it. Don't think it's okay to jump right out there in the first months post op and push your limits. Because we all do it - we all test our limits. But don't make it a habit. Don't think that because your sleeve's restriction keeps you from overindulging in year one that you can do what you like. By the time year three rolls around, you're going to find that your success hinges upon you working your sleeve - not your sleeve keeping you thin despite yourself.

It's entirely possible. This is long, I apologize. All of my posts are long! But it's not as simple as just avoiding certain food groups. Because real life is still out there. Nobody around you is going to give up food just because you had surgery. Exercising self control is important and by getting the head work done and by staying disciplined, you'll find it's easier to stay in control.

And when you struggle you'll find there are hundreds of posts here from people that have gone through the same things. Support helps.

Good luck,

~Cheri

[healthbound1 69]

Great replies, thanks! I quit sugar for a year and it worked well for me. I think that is probably the best course of action for me. If I have a little I just want more and more and more. But I don't want to be malnourished and I want to lose as little muscle as possible. Since my stomach will be so much smaller, I imagine it is very important to make sure I get the Protein, Vitamins and nutrients in first.

As also mentioned, self talk and support are key. There are several things to keep up with to make sure we are taking good care of ourselves. Thank God for these forums!!!

[livvsmum 2,370]

Everyone has offered great advice. I was DEFINITELY an emotional eater. I remember about 2 days into the pre-op liquid diet just sobbing because I didn't know how to deal with stress or emotions without food to go to. It was really scary and eye-opening.

I'm 8 weeks post-op right now, and I can just share what I've done and what I've found. For me, I CANNOT give in to junk food. It's best for me just to "think" that it will bother my sleeve, rather than test the theory and find it to not be true. I avoid things altogether that I know will be bad for me. One, because I don't want to go back down that road after everything it took to get here, and two because I know if I give a little I will give myself more and more reasons to slip.

I think you'll find too that your sleeve helps you in that you really change your relationship with food. Sure, there are times when my mouth says "YES!!! I want another bite"!!!! but I know that I will feel miserable if I take it, so I don't. You will learn that you can still enjoy eating, but it is different after. You eat because you have to (at least for me now I do) not so much because you are stressed or emotional, etc.

My relationship with food has changed because (1) you are very limited in how much you can eat, (2) not everything goes down well....you will overeat or eat the wrong kinds of foods and learn that it doesn't feel "GOOD" anymore, (3) I think about EVERY SINGLE THING I put in my mouth now - instead of mindlessly eating as before, and (4) I stick to the Protein first rule. Honestly after I get my Protein in, I'm usually full and overeating is not fun anymore.

[livvsmum 2,370]

I also meant to add that you'll find in the weeks after surgery that it becomes easier and easier to pass up the things you know you should not have. Not sure exactly why, but it's just a heck of a lot easier to say NO!!! now than it ever was before.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

So I'm going to be at 3 weeks post surgery, tomorrow. The first week was frankly kind of a blur because you're really just learning how to sip, the peculiarities of your sleeve, whether you like/can tolerate warm, hot, cold foods best, and what things taste like (if they've changed.) The second week is UGH broth and all that goes along with it. This past week as I've branched out into cream Soups, etc, is when I have learned the most. I have learned that I *can* eat more than 6 oz of Soup, but it is not comfortable, for example. And what I find happening now is that I'm stopping before I can get to that point. I'm giving myself permission to dish up only a tiny portion. I don't know why that is an adjustment, but it is. And as I do these things I am finding that there's not room left to cheat/go scavenging/sabotage.

Now, part of it is that I promised myself I would not go outside my guidelines for recovery, period. Would it be easy to? I guess, because the world is spinning on without me at the center of it. But I'm treating my stomach like it was one of my babies during my pregnancies. Maybe even better than that. I'm thinking of it as defenseless during this time, and that really helps me make good decisions. Because ultimately, they're non-decisions. Your stomach is your baby, or your toddler. And I don't know about you, but when my pediatrician told me that my baby could have milk but no solid food, I did not give my baby a cheeto. Or just a sip of wine. I did not feel sorry for it; I knew that no good could come out of giving it something it was not ready for.

What Cheri says above is absolutely true. But I'm trying to give you yet another way to look at it.