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Anyone Afraid of Telling Others about WLS?



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I did not have it yet but when I do I will not tell anyone except my immediate family. That said I'll really probably tell everybody eventually. But I don't want to at first. They post our schedule at my place of work so there will be 5 sick days listed right under my name. Then a month or so later I will have become( hopefully) be skinnier than I ever was, and won't be found at the vending machine as much. They will put two and two together of that I am certain. So I am gonna lie....or at least try to. Anyone have a good lie I can tell to cover up them knowing I was out and then getting skinny?

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Hello,

I Only told my mom, my boyfriend, my brother and my aunt. Noone else needs to know my business. If I eventually decide to tell people I will but right now I have not told anyone. Before I had my surgery you have to start eating healthy so everyone new that is what I was doing. I'm just a little over a month out and people do notice and I just say I'm working out and eating healthy. Has seemed to work for me. As far as being in the hospital I just said I was having my Gallbladder out. No questions asked. Anyways congratulations on your surgery date. :-) It's the best decision I have made for my life. :-)

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I have a pretty good awareness of who will be supportive, who won't, etc. Right now, 6 people know: my sister and one of my nieces (both have thought about surgery but are nervous about it), my boss (I've had to take time off), and my three best friends (one had bypass surgery 10 years ago and is thinking about a revision and the other two are supportive either way).

I'll probably let the rest of my office mates know after my insurance approval comes back and I get a date, because it'll be a sure thing then. I don't anticipate any judgment or issues, but I don't want them all to know I'm planning this and have it fall through for any reason. We're a small enough office that there's no point in trying to hide anything!

As for the rest of my family? It was a hard lesson to learn, but I've finally figured out that I'm going to be judged and found lacking no matter what I do (in every area of my life, not just weight). I don't care if they know about it, but it would be my preference to fill them in after the deed is done just so I don't have to listen to any crap.

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I'm fighting with the same issue. Surgery date is December 10 and I've only told a few people. My wife and I come from large families and not sure how I'm going to explain my absence on both Christmas Eve and Day. I may just say I had hernia surgery ...

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I have struggled with the decision to tell or not tell. I have decided to tell people as I feel the need to. I told my immediate family, my roller derby team, and a few close friends. Mostly just my support network in order to ensure I am successful. Some of my longest standing friends I am nervous to tell, for the ost part I have been pleasantly surprised with people's response. I am doing self pay in Mexico. Most of the questions come out of concern for my well being during and immediately after surgery. I have been able to discuss those issue and don't a lot of promising for updates as I wake up from surgery. I have been big my whole life as I lose more and more weight I am sure questions will circulate and I plan on making the decision to share I had surgery on a case by case basis.

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I have told my family, they are not supportive in my moms words "you'll die. don't do it your just not trying hard enough" yeah IM not trying hard enough so the last FIVE YEARS I have spent working with a doctor and nutritionist because I didn't want to go thus route was not trying hard enough. Though I wished I'd have said what I wanted which I can't print here lest I burn ears. I walked away from her and only exchange small talk if that with her now. She doesn't understand that if I don't do something now I won't live to see 50 (yes I did say that to her) I wish I hadn't told them but can't take it back. I did tell my close friends thru private Facebook message and they are supportive. They've always been more than family. I have decided not to tell my coworkers as I feel that I don't need the judgmental atmosphere directed at me. I will use my tools as I see fit to save my life and its not for them to gossip about. My surgery is Nov 22 and am looking forward to living healthier and meeting the slim person I know lives in this super morbidly obese body.

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I have told my family, they are not supportive in my moms words "you'll die. don't do it your just not trying hard enough" yeah IM not trying hard enough so the last FIVE YEARS I have spent working with a doctor and nutritionist because I didn't want to go thus route was not trying hard enough. Though I wished I'd have said what I wanted which I can't print here lest I burn ears. I walked away from her and only exchange small talk if that with her now. She doesn't understand that if I don't do something now I won't live to see 50 (yes I did say that to her) I wish I hadn't told them but can't take it back. I did tell my close friends thru private Facebook message and they are supportive. They've always been more than family. I have decided not to tell my coworkers as I feel that I don't need the judgmental atmosphere directed at me. I will use my tools as I see fit to save my life and its not for them to gossip about. My surgery is Nov 22 and am looking forward to living healthier and meeting the slim person I know lives in this super morbidly obese body.

Your mum is afraid, that's all. Not necessarily judgmental. My adult kids were the same before I had the surgery. Now that it's done (and I didn't die!) they are more than supportive.

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I told my immediate family and no one else. My personal life is some what of an open book because of what I do, but somethings in my personal life remains private.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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