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Will my time EVER come?!



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Ok I'm clearly having a rough night and just need to vent. I feel like I have been jipped (sp?) out of this surgery so many times. My mom worked at ADP for 6 years with UHC and they covered it...but only if I was 18...then when I was 17 and 7 months she changed jobs to Key Payroll online and still has UHC but they dont cover it!!! Gah just my luck. Then 6 months ago she got a credit card for 20,000 but it is maxed out now cause she took alovely trip to Arizona....Then she refinanced the house and spent 20,000 on our kitchen alone (more than the cost of surgery) and normally she has great credit and could get financed for a surgery here in the USA but now her debt to income ratio is too high because of her new stupid southwest airlines credit cards. So basically I have been told oh yeah this will work...Siiikk! too many times.

I feel like I am so close yet so far. I have been researching this for 5 years now ever since They had that girl from wilson phillips on TV for the NWWLS commercial (if u live in WA im sure you know what I'm talking about). I just feel like my time is never going to come. And I have applied at ADP (the place my mom use to work, which I know for sure covers the surgery) for receptionist and admin jobs for over a year now and they just won't hire me.<br>I just wonder when my time to shine is going to come<br>Sorry to vent I just feel hopeles....and today I was crying and my mom told me "It's not my responsibility to pay for your stupid weight loss surgery...I didn't make you fat."

All I could think was uhm...maybe if I had some emotional stability when I was a child and didn't have an alcoholic father I'd have felt more loved and not needed food to comfort me. I know most of you bandsters on here are older than me and maybe are parents too....but it's very difficult when both of your parents were bombshells and popular in high school and never been overweight...I mean my mom simplifies it to "Why should I finance a surgery when you can't even pay your cell phone bill." I duno I just think she needs to take a step back and realize that spending $20,000 on new kitchen isn't as important as your daughters lifelong happiness, health and success.

Maybe I feel like it is owed to me because I truley feel like she should have provided more stability in my life. I rememebr beign in 3rd grade and beign called fat for the first time...and I didn't realize that I was different until then...I just know that if I saw my kids gettign chubby I'd enroll them in basketball or some form of fun exercise and have activites for them to make healthy Snacks....like celery and Peanut Butter with little raisens on them. I wouldn't wish beign 275 on my worst enemy....and just can't figure out why my mom didn't fight harder for my health when I was so little.

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Is there any way that you can get a credit card of your own or find some way to finance the surgery yourself? I know when I was your age and i started college I was flooded with credit card brochures and such. I had like 5 credit cards. Can you check with a bank and see about taking out a loan? Do you have a job? I hate to sound like the b*tch in the situation but you need to step outside of the box and recognize that as nice as it would be for your Mom to help you it is ultimately your responsibilty to take care of yourself and your own wieght. If I had asked my Mom to pay for my surgery she would have laughed in my face. And she was a wonderful Mom. It is not my mothers fault I am overwieght, I am the one who put food in my mouth. She tried to help me, I played sports, I just have bad genetics. You can't go around in life blaming things on other people. Take responsibilty and solve the problem yourself.

I am sorry if i sound harsh, and I am not saying this just to hurt your feelings. I just want you to see what the situation looks like from an outsiders perspective. I know how hard things can be, and I know how hopeless they can seem. I wanted to get the surgery for many years and was only really able to recently. I grew up as that fat girl. I know what it is like and how much it sucks. The point is if you really truly want this done, you can and will find a way to do it and not worry about relying on someone else to take care of the problem.

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Yeha. I totally understand I ca't blame her...and I don't want to sound like a whiney teenager...it's just frusturatign trying to get her to understand..plus she promised me when I was 16 that she would make it happen for me. And I have a great job as an admin assistant...and I coudl afford the payments and all I just have the trouble of having NO credit history...so people are like yeah right like we are guna give you money....

What I think I'm going to do at this point is save for Mexico since that is only $8,500 as opposed to $17,500.

=/

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I am sure someone will chime in with the names of places that offer credit for medical reason but I cannot remember any right now. Maybe you could try callig one of those places to get approved. If you just have no credit it would probably be easier than getting something with terrible credit. You might have to pay a higher interest rate but you still might be able to find something.

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You know I never thought of that I guess your right no credit is better than terrible credit.

I think I will call around today.

=]

Thanks

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Audrey - Try to focus on the future for now. It looks like your only 17, and right now, I don't think any US doctor will operate on a 17 year old. I know your day will come - so try and stay positive.

Being a mother of two teenagers myself, I worry about my kids health and try and make sure they healthy Snacks. I wanted to make sure they didn't grow up to be fat, or become fat children like I was. Both of my kids are in perfect shape, so I understand what your saying. I do believe it is the parents responsibility to teach their children about being healthy, and provide for them emotionally.

You sound like a bright and intelligent young woman, so I know that eventually you will be able to make it on your own and then your day will come. So keep your chin up. And in the mean time, try eating the bandster way. There will be days you don't, and thats okay - but practice makes perfect. And the more you can practice eating the bandster way, the more successful you will be when you finally get your band.

Good-luck sweetie!

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Thanks for your kind words sunshine 2!

I really appreciate it.

And yes I am 17, 18 in two weeks...wouldn't it be nice to get health insurance that covers the band for my birthday! Haha.

I am goign to call around to some fianancing places today to see what they offer if anything to student with no credit.

I'll keep everyone posted.

Thanks for you help!

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