Lately my husband been drinking heavily. It's no longer a weekend thing it's more like almost daily. We live in a 2 floor apartment(I call it house) top apt bottom basement. He either drinks solo with his brother or his adult son.

Now that I cover that area the issues I'm having...

He comes at anytime after drinking 1am-3am from the basement drunk fighting arguing with me & throwing things. He talks about me not feeding my kids. I feed them every single day. He mentions how I don't clean the house. Ok I'm not the best housewife & he has been a witness to the kids making a mess after I been cleaning all day. I try the best I can to keep it nice. He has a new thing now. You think your all that cuz you lost weight you only care about your diet your body only you. We need to higher someone to clean this house(that was today) I said I'm not getting someone to do anything I do my self. He said you there saving for your surgeries. I said yes I'm not paying for someone to clean with my own money.

This makes me think really hard about my life & I know I said this before or mention that I have bills & in this world you are screw if you don't have good credit score. So it's looking like I won't grow old with my husband. The good news is he already have paid for a lot of the bills(paid off) so there is still bills but much less. He bought me a new car & that has a monthly payment for about 4 years & that's our last bill.

I guess I should be gone when I turn 38. I know I don't want to stick around for more verbal abuse. I'm venting here & I know some may say f the bills just leave but my credit score is important to me. I can make it on my own my kids will be still under 10 except my now 15 year old she would be 19.

Wish things were different only a miracle can happen from now to four years. Gives me plenty of time to save money after I get my surgeries cuz there is no way in the world I'm getting surgery after 40. I want everything done before I age. That's my personal opinion I want to have everything done before 40. Life sucks!

I guess no days can be perfect. Feeling sad & unhappy:( well I'm home like always he comes in complaining my son is in the crib by him self. He is lock up like an animal. It's almost 12am & he took a late nap & of course he will be up late.

Comes to the kitchen asking where is my pilon. I said on top of the fridge. He said you haven't used that for weeks. I said I use garlic every time I cook. Asking how much garlic I put in the rice. Smelling the pilon. I'm like are you ok? You been drinking? I been drinking since earlier. I said I don't appreciate you coming home like that acting stupid. He checks the food starts saying this is too good for me. Idk what he meant by that but I ask him if he was going to eat. He said yes but starts saying I should teach my son to cook. I said he's 3 years old. He needs to learn he is gonna be a cabron(when the wife cheats on a man) so you better teach him. He will be cheated on anyway so he might as well learn to cook.

He walks out to put the bottles in the recycle. I'm just like thinking. I need a freaken medal I cook 7 days a week 3 meals per day. I do take a short cut once in a while with frozen fries. I make everything fresh. Boil Beans I don't buy meat already season. I season it. I make my own dressing. I make a lot of things from scratch. I don't bake sweets or make fresh bread. Shit! I spend a lot of time in the kitchen now imagine if I had to make every single thing from scratch. I don't wash by hands except panties if needed to. I don't own a swifter I have an actual mop & bucket. I do Iron when needed.

If he doesn't appreciate this 34 year old that cooks 3 meals per day 7 days a week. Takes care of 3 kids. Gets up Monday~Friday 6am never ask for help. Go shopping alone do everything by my self.

I don't know what else I should do for the family?

I don't know if there is something I'm missing?

I don't know why he is drinking so much?

I don't know why I'm the blame for everything?

I don't have a break. I take a break for my self by getting my nails done. Sometimes my hair. My fun times being on line chatting with WLS ppl. Games drinking Starbucks cafe. Shopping for food or clothes. That's it. I don't complain. I'm used to being alone & doing things alone.

Some more bitching... Didn't even eat the delicious meal I prepare. My son as autism & even so often when he drinks liquor/beer he would say hurtful things such as you have a crazy son. He said tonight your crazy cant be my son. I'm not crazy must have been a crazy man that's your father out there. I guess your not smart enough have the brain to learn to cook anyhow. Your mother is getting a check for you every month. I started screaming & said shit up your being stupid. I went to the living room. He kept on talking & talking I was watching TV so I wasn't listening.

I'm being patience but I think I'm better off by my self. Well next year 2014 I get plastic surgery so lets see how the bill situation is going so maybe by the time my son turns 5 I should be out of here. He can keep the car he bought me its not paid off & it's not in my name. We have less bills now & a few of them will be paid off in a few months. Leaving us with about 3/4 large bills in the thousands. After my plastic surgery I will be able to pay off my own bills only what's in my name which is like 2. I don't owe such a large amount that I can't pay. In a few months I can pay those off. I guess I have to then look for a place to live & see if I can get subsidy for abuse spouse. I will talk to other single ladies here & in the welfare office to see my options when the time comes.

Mami there are non for profit orginaztions in most county's that provide counesling for free or very little expense. Even sometimes your local domestic violence angency may be able to help with out pressuring you to leave, but offering supports and options for positive changes. Best of luck with whatever you decided To do with you marriage. One day at a time

I was the same age... Had the same issues... My kids were the same age (including my oldest) I just didn't have my surgery yet.

I stuck around another 2 years and finally had ended up cheating to escape the madness. Finally one day.out of the blue I said F-this mental abuse. I saw not only how it affected me but also my kids.

I'm very strong and can give "it" back at you harder then I get it.. but half the time just ignored him. That hurt more. But I did cry myself to sleep cause I was miserably frustrated and felt stuck.

I took my kids to lunch one day and them that I wanted to move and hoe daddy and I were working out and sometimes it was like that. My kids couldn't give a flying F about us staying together. They did struggle with the actual event of having a new hone dynamics and daddy had his own pkace... But the fool moved into the sane town homes as me.

~Leticia **HW: 259**PreOp: 216**SURG: 3/21/13 **Discharged @: 221**8 days post op: Down 19 lbs**

I've been where u are. I got fed up! My ex husband was in the army. He was a good soldier blah blah but cheated every sec of every day! I made me a plan. I said by God been a wife long enough gonna get this straight. Had my surgery had them fix my deviated septum and like three mos outta surgery served him. I laugh at the fact he treated me so poorly and when I walk up to them their friends give me a what the hell why he dump u and marry her bc yall gag seriously. If u want out do it. You can. If I can flee in the middle of the night w three kids have no damn clue what I was doing and be here today baby so can you. There's a good man put there and I'm sure would be happy to thankful to have someone like u. . .how do I know?? Bc I found one. If u wanna chat privately feel free I can tell ya more about my situation.

Lots of love.

He is abusive to the family, and it is up to you now to protect your children. As adults, we need to do whatever we can to protect any child. When I read this, I am sick to my stomach with what your poor children are going through. It is a situation that you really should get out off for everyone's well being!

My opinion. Normally when a person starts talking shit and putting another person down is because they have a guilty conscience. That person deal with it by take it out on the next person like a bully. Remember Misery needs company! Keep in mind womens are always strong. You know what to do deep down inside. Just follow your heart and never loose faith. Take care.

My new journey 2013<br />Waiting on approval

Mami, sadly this is the norm for many women. My moms boyfriend was much the same, except there was physical abuse. There is no easy fix for you situation. He had the upper hand when you where overweight due to low self esteem and he is extremely insecure and lives in fear that your going to leave him anyway so he's pushing you instead. As you most likely know by now you can't make him wake up. I feel for you, you made a Hugh change in your life to better your life and he seems to be spiraling to the bottom. ;0(

mami! this is terrible! i wish i could help in some way! stand strong and KNOW that you deserve the best in the world, ok?

don't settle for less.

x

mami! this is terrible! i wish i could help in some way! stand strong and KNOW that you deserve the best in the world' date=' ok?

don't settle for less.

x[/quote']

Thanks

Up date***

Hello everyone I still have issues but its actually getting better. I made a decision to go ahead & have plastic surgery between August 2014 ~August 2015 I need 35,000 and its not easy. I'm basically alone in saving this money but its doable & I will manage it.

About my husband.. He is still is family counseling. He is trying to not over drink. He has been home more. We have been spending more time together. He is getting more jealous. Thinking men are checking me out. Idk about that cuz I don't pay mind.

Up date***

Hello everyone I still have issues but its actually getting better. I made a decision to go ahead & have plastic surgery between August 2014 ~August 2015 I need 35' date='000 and its not easy. I'm basically alone in saving this money but its doable & I will manage it.

About my husband.. He is still is family counseling. He is trying to not over drink. He has been home more. We have been spending more time together. He is getting more jealous. Thinking men are checking me out. Idk about that cuz I don't pay mind.[/quote']

That is a good choice to go ahead and have a healthier life.

I'm glad your marriage has gotten better, at least he's trying. Best of luck on everything. Remember never lose faith. Take care.

My new journey 2013

Up date***

Hello everyone I still have issues but its actually getting better. I made a decision to go ahead & have plastic surgery between August 2014 ~August 2015 I need 35' date='000 and its not easy. I'm basically alone in saving this money but its doable & I will manage it.

About my husband.. He is still is family counseling. He is trying to not over drink. He has been home more. We have been spending more time together. He is getting more jealous. Thinking men are checking me out. Idk about that cuz I don't pay mind.[/quote']

I'm very glad things are getting better for you! I was worried about you and your kids! Why is it that men get jealous when we lose weight? My husband isn't the jealous kind and let's me go out and do my own thing without any problem. The minute I lose weight, he begins to worry. I tell him all the time, "honey I get hit on even when I'm fat!", and I do! Then he drops it! hope all continues to go well for you!

I'm very glad things are getting better for you! I was worried about you and your kids! Why is it that men get jealous when we lose weight? My husband isn't the jealous kind and let's me go out and do my own thing without any problem. The minute I lose weight' date=' he begins to worry. I tell him all the time, "honey I get hit on even when I'm fat!", and I do! Then he drops it! hope all continues to go well for you![/quote']

Men are nuts! Thanks so much for your concern I do appreciate it. We can't control there jealousy but sure wish they would stop it.