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I just told my boss! I feel so judged...



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I told my boss and coworkers before I told my family and I had the biggest cheerleaders. I would like to add that my boss is male and all of my coworkers are also male. But, they have been so supportive through the whole preparing process. I guess I'm lucky.

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I was fortunate that both of my bosses were totally on board with my decision and have been so supportive. One of my bosses is 97 and now that I've lost 45 lbs, he keeps asking how much more I plan to lose! Bless his heart, he has no idea that I'm only a third of the way to my goal! I didn't tell my HR person since I used vacation days for the 8 days I was off. My other boss did tell her and since she had family members who have had the bypass, she thought she knew everything. Overall, it's been a very positive experience for me with lots of support and encouragement.

Good luck to all!

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You shouldn't have told your boss, ish; because all they want to do is judge people. My boss had a sleeve, but will not be knowing about my sleeve; this is my business. Damn People.

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I told one of my bosses on Friday. I'm a teacher, and we have a very involved evaluation process. Attendance is a part of that process. We usually skip over that part quickly because it's never been an issue for me. But this year it will be different. So, I closed the door and told him. He was extremely supportive and even found the name if the person in HR that I needed to talk to. I love that he did that bit of leg work for me. So, it's not a bad idea for everyone.

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I am new to the sleeved community and new to the site' date=' but I feel like sharing this story. I have had to take off from work a few times to do different procedures in relation to the surgery. A few hours here, a day there...I felt compelled to tell her what was going on so she would know why I was taking 2 hours off tomorrow (for the heart test) and why I had to leave early next thursday (for dietician meeting). I also wanted to give her a heads up that I would be taking 2-3 weeks off in a month or so.

So I took a breath and told her...she spends 15 minutes telling me about the 17 day diet and how it helped her to lose 21 pounds 2 years ago and how it could help me. She was not being aggressive, she was trying to be supportive I guess, but she did not understand why I would do such a crazy, insane thing. Surgery just seemed so extreme to her. She kept asking why I couldn't just eat less. I started explaining my reasons to her, but realized I was starting to feel silly...I started asking my self (internally) why am I doing this? Maybe she is right? Maybe I am I being too extreme? Am I too lazy to stay on the right track?

I had to tell my mom and husband who were not immediately on board, but for some reason this was different. She is the first real "naysayer" that I need to tell that I had not told. The next is one of my closest, most skinniest friends (size 0-2) who has made comments in the past about how bad it is to have WLS surgery. After that it is my sister who is going to be really worried and, quite frankly just as judgmental. Oye....I am not looking forward to those conversations.

Anywayz, I can deal with it really, I just felt like sharing. Have any of you had this experience? How do you all deal with the skinny b***** judgement?[/quote']

So many people just don't get it. Like many of us, I've gained and lost 50-100 pounds on many many occasions but it didn't work in the long run. I heard more people tell me there way of just doing it, and I'm happy that it was that is ole for them, but there are all sorts of reasons why it may not work long term for so many of us.

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I am the same as you losing 85 twice over the last 10 years, never making it to goal, however faithfully following a diet until I ended up straying. Over and over again since I was 12 years old. A couple of years ago I decided I didn't have the heart to do it again, to make the effort and get bigger when I gained it back. Bottom line is less than 1% (think this is what my paperwork from the endocrinologist said) ever lose the weight, make it to goal and keep it off. I've felt for years that I have dieted myself fat, and I would get the control and do it again saying this time is different... no going back. It is totally self-defeating. I had one girl at work trying to sell the body wraps, and another selling Vitamins. The one selling the wraps works really close to where I do, that we can talk and she even started being pesty... at some point she said "Don't you want to be thin, and lose the weight"? I remember responding that "I don't care anymore, that my whole life has been about focusing on my weight and what I put in my mouth, but those dang body wraps ain't going to do a thing for me."

My NUT called me a professional dieter... yep, that's me! I know (or think I do) about diet and excercise! I have tried everything (except those dang wraps). I have flipped my opinions through the years, and part of me always believed that Dr. Atkins was the way to go. That reformed diabetics who swore off sugar, had the best success rates. I am talking about in my world and people I have known through the years that lost weight and kept it off. Those fanatical about avoiding sugar were the most successful, of course I am stating in my opinion and observations.

You are right, so many people do not get it and they never will.

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I am the same as you losing 85 twice over the last 10 years' date=' never making it to goal, however faithfully following a diet until I ended up straying. Over and over again since I was 12 years old. A couple of years ago I decided I didn't have the heart to do it again, to make the effort and get bigger when I gained it back. Bottom line is less than 1% (think this is what my paperwork from the endocrinologist said) ever lose the weight, make it to goal and keep it off. I've felt for years that I have dieted myself fat, and I would get the control and do it again saying this time is different... no going back. It is totally self-defeating. I had one girl at work trying to sell the body wraps, and another selling Vitamins. The one selling the wraps works really close to where I do, that we can talk and she even started being pesty... at some point she said "Don't you want to be thin, and lose the weight"? I remember responding that "I don't care anymore, that my whole life has been about focusing on my weight and what I put in my mouth, but those dang body wraps ain't going to do a thing for me."

My NUT called me a professional dieter... yep, that's me! I know (or think I do) about diet and excercise! I have tried everything (except those dang wraps). I have flipped my opinions through the years, and part of me always believed that Dr. Atkins was the way to go. That reformed diabetics who swore off sugar, had the best success rates. I am talking about in my world and people I have known through the years that lost weight and kept it off. Those fanatical about avoiding sugar were the most successful, of course I am stating in my opinion and observations.

You are right, so many people do not get it and they never will.[/quote']

Very well stated!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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