Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How do you handle attention from the opposite sex now that you've been sleeved and are SUPER HOT?



Recommended Posts

When I notice it, I am flattered and a little bit embarrassed. It is not immediately obvious to me but once it becomes obvious I feel good. My husband says he likes it when he notices other men checking me out, he knows I am his.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife told me she enjoys seeing women looking at me, because she knows they can't have me. She may sound cocky but she's right. There is only one women for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll try that. I am taking baby steps trying to get used to the emerging me. I can't understand how I can do so well professionally and yet be so critical of myself. My wife and I have a trip booked for later this year to the Caribbean, maybe I'll be a bit more comfortable by then. It will be our first trip to a beach in 28 years, and I owe it to her.

Like BTB said, it takes time for your mental "image" of yourself to catch up to where you are physically in this journey. I have lots of old photos of myself when I was morbidly obese (not as many as I would have liked because usually when the camera came out I would hide, or be the one 'behind' it...) so sometimes I will sit and sift through those old photos to *remember* where I came from. I wasn't a miserable, depressed, binge-eating person before my sleeve, but I was unhappy living in a body that was too large for me to be comfortable and I was unhappy with my relationship with food. So while I don't think that my personality changed much in this process, I always say that I finally feel like my "outsides" match my "insides"...I was here all along, just no one saw me the way I saw myself.

If that makes any sense....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm only half way to goal but I still notice the attention quite a bit. It's the most bizarre feeling. My whole life I wanted to feel good and have that attention and now that I have it, I hate it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like BTB said, it takes time for your mental "image" of yourself to catch up to where you are physically in this journey. I have lots of old photos of myself when I was morbidly obese (not as many as I would have liked because usually when the camera came out I would hide, or be the one 'behind' it...) so sometimes I will sit and sift through those old photos to *remember* where I came from. I wasn't a miserable, depressed, binge-eating person before my sleeve, but I was unhappy living in a body that was too large for me to be comfortable and I was unhappy with my relationship with food. So while I don't think that my personality changed much in this process, I always say that I finally feel like my "outsides" match my "insides"...I was here all along, just no one saw me the way I saw myself.

If that makes any sense....

That's EXACTLY how I feel about myself now [pre-sleeve]. All of my issues with my weight are completely mine. I've been very lucky to never have had to deal with any bullies and I've managed to make friends in all situations because of my personality, I've even dated people. I definitely don't hate myself, I don't even hate my body - how can I hate the thing that allows me to live this life? I'm just not happy with how I've treated it and not happy with the health risks of staying obese, and that's why I want the surgery.

Sorry, that was such a threadjack. I just haven't seen another person who shared my feelings so I wanted to comment on that!

Like I said, I'm pre-sleeve right now. But at one point I lost about 35 pounds and I immediately noticed a difference in who talked to me and what was being said. I also noticed the difference when I gained it back. It didn't bother me that much that I knew they wouldn't have been interested if I was at my highest weight. If I don't like the way my body looks at this weight, why would I expect someone else to? and if they don't know me yet, what else is there to assess? It's human nature to be more open to meeting more attractive people. It doesn't make us fat people any less lovable, we're just perceived differently!!

I have a theory that a big part of who talks to you or is interested in you before/after your surgery is in how you feel about YOURSELF. If you are full of self-judgement and you're tearing yourself down, that's reflected in how you carry yourself. If ALL of your body language is saying "don't come near me, I don't like myself, I'm not comfortable in my own skin" then how could anyone really break that barrier? Sure, some do, but if we're talking just running into people on the street, chances are they'll pick up on your body language and not talk to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't been sleeved yet but hell yeah I wanna get hit on! I can't wait to see people I haven't seen in like 2 years and have my "suck it" expression on my face! I live in Chicago I can't wait to be skinny and go to a bears game in a tight walter Peyton jersey and jeans. I'm married and I can't wsit for my hubby to be proud of me and show mw off

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My wife has being buying all of these trendy clothes for me. She said she like the attention I get when we're out. Of course I don't notice women looking at me. I also find it amusing since I still have at least 40lbs to goal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WTF man everyone is hating on me these days

I'm not jumping on the hate bandwagon and taking potshots at you. However, I think it's the amount of naked shots you post. I know you're proud of your accomplishments but some might find it a bit much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I ve been married forever but I am noticed lately which feels good and wired..so strange and perplexing....I am not sure how to deal with it...I will likely nervously laugh I did have an instance where I was by myself at a country bar doing surveillance and someone asked me to dance so I danced I never would have done that 42lbs before and you know what it wasn't bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's weird when you realize a person isn't looking at you and giving you full on attention because you are smart and funny. I'm finally starting to make the connection but the first few times it happened I thought my fly was unzipped or I had spinach in my teeth. I'm starting to realize when it happens I'm being checked out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been sharing the before and after pictures with my wife (who was in awe and stunned) and she posed this question. Do you get attention from people of the opposite sex who previously ignored you? Are you flattered' date=' insulted, or embarrassed. Sound off my fellow sleevers.[/quote']

Well I'll letcha know when I get there :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Something I have noticed is wearing that big old diamond on your ring finger isn't necessarily a deal breaker for guys! I just celebrated my birthday with friends at a bar, and I was dancing with some girls and this guy came up from behind and started dancing on me....which I don't mind, but then he tried to kiss my neck...which is the 3 rd time this has happened to me since losing all of my weight! I don't understand why some men think that that is ok to do! I turned around, shook my finger at the guy and pointed to my ring...all while being completely intoxicated...which was great because my husband was watching me and that guy, and he got to see that even when I am drunk I only have eyes for him! Good thing I didn't let that guy kiss me! Hehe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of us see past the material things, and even the physical, to the person inside. Brains, sense of humor, similar morals - that's the important stuff. The rest is transient 'gravy'.

Hmmmmm... Gravy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmmmm... Gravy!

Oh, Butter....I said the magic word, didn't I?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×