So I went to my first surgeon's visit today and got my date- October 3rd. I was really hoping for a september date, but, My surgeon is going on vacation. Not cool dude. No vacation for him

Have to go get an EKG, a pre-op surgical clearance from my pcp, and a trip to the vampire for some lab work. Then one more meeting with the NUT at my surgeon's office as Kaiser likes to confuse the crap out of us and send us to their Nut's for 6 months and then ship us off to the surgeon's Nut for the rest of the time.

I am honestly exhausted from all the hoop jumping- whenever I feel like I've made progress I still have more hoop jumping to go. It's like it's never enough.....

On the plus side my Surgeon is a little chubby, and it makes me delirious with delight.

So had my meeting with the Nut, b/c I did so well on my mandatory 6 month "diet" I only have to do 7 day pre op liquid diet.

I was thinking maybe I.'d do a little longer so as to kick start my loss...

Or maybe not...

I just got back from Chicago where I had food funeral extravaganza. pizza at Pequods, pie at Joe's seafood & steaks, donuts at Glazed & Infused & ice cream at oberweis, ribs at Smoque, cupcakes at More. Needless to say I gained 4#, but still according to my weigh-ins didn't gain. Good spacing of appointments on my part.

Now waiting & counting down. Feeling like anti-climatic. Like I don't want to get worked up about it because its not real.

Little annoyed bc my surgeon thinks I'll only get down to 140# & I recall 140 & remember feeling just as gross & fat as I feel now but w/much smaller boobs.

I'm doing this so in the future I can have babies safely but theres like a 75% chance that wont happen for me so I guess I also am doing this to be hott for myself. Like I've always been fat, I want to be hot damn it.

I love that ending. Darn it, I want to be hot too. I'd likely settle for not embarrassing my children at the beach. Seriously though, I almost killed myself in my twenties getting into a size 12. I'd love to see what an 8 or (gasp) a 6 would look like. I'd like for once, to be able to wear a belt with jeans and tick in my shirt. I think that will be my goal weight present. I want a shiny belt buckle:-). Of course, the road to hot begins next month!!!!!