Secret? Yes or No.

[Annakris1973 0]

Kathy,

Just noticed your surgery date...how are you feeling?

Now, back on topic....If/when I am able to have the surgery, I think I will keep it to myself and DH until after the procedure is done. My mom is a real high strung worry wart, and I think she would go nuts. My dad wouldn't want me to do it. I think my sister would be supportive, maybe. I think that you have to have a rock solid support system, and sadly, I don't think they would be.

[Nathalie 4]

Aside from my medical professionals and the LBT forum, there are 7 people in the world who know about my surgery. Only one of them is an immediate family member. I know who supports me in my life, and I know who will use this against me, and try to make me feel ashamed of myself because of my decision. At this point I wanted to be surrounded by people who love and believe in me, so I chose to keep my decision to myself. So far, I know it was the right decision for me.

[Kaydotrn 1]

As far as who knows in my non LBT life-my husband, mom, sister, 1 friend who is also banded, and my older daughter. That is it.

Maybe I will tell someday but as of now, I am enjoying my privacy. I don't want to hear the judgements, the lectures about if I just tried harder to diet and exercise ::blahblahblah:::..I don't want to the food police bothering me. And then there is the fear..what if it takes a long time to lose the weight or I don't lose much-I don't want people telling me "I told you so". So for now, I keep it to myself.

[ReneBean 3]

I feel like if they ask me, I am going to tell them. Several people are uncomfortable with that, and I can appreciate that, but it isn't for me to be that way. When they tell people they are eating less and moving more, they are telling the truth...but I know myself and when I was at my biggest, if someone had suddenly lost 80 pounds, and was telling me they were eating less and moving more, I would have just felt like an even bigger slug....thinking WHY can't I do that??? It is a hard thing being that size, and feeling hopeless, I tell people, because I know if they find a way to get banded, they could do it too---I am not special----just lucky!!!

Kat

I am with Kat. I don't tell everybody I meet, but if people that I know ask me, and they are asking because they REALLY want to know as an example for what they can do to lose weight, then I always tell the truth.

It would be adding to the public lie that everybody should be able to "do it on their own" and to the concept that it is the "easy way out" to tell the lie of omission. I always tell those folks the truth. I usually point them in the direction of this website for eduction.

So far, not one single person has given me any indication that what I did was wrong. I am sure they are all watching to see how it goes - and who knows what they say when I am not around - but even if I did get comments - I would ignore them and move on.

I feel that if only ONE person has the chance to break the fat cycle by getting this surgery, I have done a good thing. I feel that anybody who is 50 lbs or more overweight ought to be able to have it.

I hope that very soon, the public opinion will shift. I mean, geez... heart patients get pace makers. Diabetics get insulin pumps. Why the heck shouldn't MO Patients get lap bands?? Why does the world say it's wrong??? I feel that the more of us that speak up and tell the people around us that we have the surgery, and that it makes all the difference in OUR EFFORTS at diet and exercise, the less crap we and all the other MO people out there will have to take. Education is the key. We are the teachers.

Hugs and Love to all!

[siyah 0]

I know family wouldn't like it- they are all skinny! So husband knows and he didn't like it either. My BF knows- a supportive fellow fatty who has just lost over 100 pounds through an intense club plan (10 k). One other friend knows only because she had it done a year ago.

I don't like attention anyway and the last thing I wanted was to have people looking at my weight more critically than ever.

[sherilynn 1]

Hi Kelsy,

I have an office *BI**H*, who is nosey, and minds everyones business; a real know it all - and does the whole office gossip thing time and again. SHE is the only reason that I'm not telling anyone. I may tell them in a few months after I start loosing. My fear is that she'll 'out' me...she's got ways of nosing into things, she'll contact someone who knows someone, etc. I've seen her do it. Uhhhhhhh, I can't stand working with her. She's the one - who when I'm making a phone call, will hear me on the phone saying something to my mom, dad, boyfriend, whomever - then have the NERVE to comment on it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, she's really bad. So, if anyone out there works with SUE...beware! LOL

Ahhhhhh, that's liberating! hehehehe

I've told my parents boyfriend and best friends - thats' more than enough.

I will say when I told the peole at work I was going out for a couple of weeks, one girl asked "Are you going out for stomach stapling'? I said no - b/c I'm not. But I was a little horrified. Then again, she and I did have the conversation one time. Still was embarrassing.

[KLo 0]

Kathy,

Just noticed your surgery date...how are you feeling?

Now, back on topic....If/when I am able to have the surgery, I think I will keep it to myself and DH until after the procedure is done. My mom is a real high strung worry wart, and I think she would go nuts. My dad wouldn't want me to do it. I think my sister would be supportive, maybe. I think that you have to have a rock solid support system, and sadly, I don't think they would be.

Thanks - I am doing ok other that I am REALLY HUNGRY. I know this is the time to heal so I am taking it as best I can.:phanvan

I have had lots of friends call to check on me so that has been nice. No one is really familiar with the procedure so I have explained that I may not have restriction until my first fill.

[ladiebird 0]

hiya all

not many people know i am banded other than a few friends and two family members.

When i met my partner 18 months ago i didnt say anything for a while but had to come clean as he likes to dine out alot. Was very sceptical about his reaction but he was amazing. Told me how brave i was to have made such a decision and that i should be proud of myself that i admitted defeat at dieting and did something about it and took back control of my life.

ive been lcuky not to have had negative comments from anyone ive told , but hey , if i did then they wouldnt be friends would they!!

When they ask if ive ever regretted it i tell them the only regret i have is that i didnt have it done sooner.

The thing i have to add is, that i havent told one of my sisters as she can be a bit bitchy at times and i know she would try and belittle me about it.

I'm not embarrassed about having it done and would recommend it to anyone who has a wiehgt problem. But i dont want to be the sublect of someones idle chit chat or uninformed opinion.

My mum paid for my surgery So i feel like she has now given me life twice.. Once the day i was born and the second the day i had my surgery.

I cannot express how my life has changed since surgery and the new inner strength and new found me that has evolved.

Tracey v

[Gerbera 0]

I've told my immediate friends and family. MY Husband thinks it's a brilliant idea and is so supportive. All my work colleagues in my team know.

I guess I'll be selective as to who esle I tell. I can get a feel from people if I think they will be supportive or not. Why would I tell anyone who would slander the concept? *shrug*

There's nothing easy about having the banding done, it's painful surgery, it costs money and "WE" still have to excercise and watch "Everything" we put in our mouths from now on. Anyway who said life had to be hard?

CHEERS and Congratulations to all of us that had it done, are thinking about getting it done

[Kelsy 1]

Wow, thanks everyone for your replies!

It's helpful to see your thoughts and know the decision your made on this tough subject.

[Carlene 12]

I told everyone....still do. Last night I told the girl at Starbucks.

I don't care what anyone says. It's hard to argue with success and being up-front about it keeps you motivated.

"It's the easy way out", shrug shoulders and say, "I'm all about easy."

"Only cheaters do that", shrug shoulders and say, "I was already cheating, but with cheesecake and pizza. What's the difference?"

"It's dangerous", shrug shoulders and say, "So is obesity. What's your point."

"Are you allowed to eat that?", shrug shoulders and say, "Yes. Can I see your food police ID, please."

"How much have you lost?", shrug shoulders and say, "I don't know. My doctor said don't play the numbers game."

Relax....it's not all about you and within a few weeks something else will come along and provide grist for the gossip mill.

[demsvmejm 5]

I have that nosey co-worker also. She has made it very clear in the past about her views on weight loss surgery. She has already asked twenty questions regarding a day off I took for my x-rays and lab work....

"Is this lab work something extra, or is this part of your yearly check-up exam?" All I said was I have to have some blood drawn. And she proceeded to go on and on about what our BC/BS pays for and what it doesn't.

See how nosey she is?

Both of her kids have lost 100+ lbs. with diet and exercise and feels that anyone else could do the same. (not that she has much room to talk)

I work in an office of 5 people. What am I going to tell them? I can't just take a week off work for no reason.

I am thinking of telling my boss that I need to have a cyst removed from my ovary. (is this a "white" lie?)

I really don't want the lectures, and the constant questions about what I'm eating, what I'm drinking etc.....because I'll be hearing it day in and day out from my nosey co-worker. And I hate confrontation.

So I guess I'm gonna lie regarding my reason for needing a week off work.

I do like Carlene's responses...I've written them down to memorize!

[Fauxnaif 1]

Only my immediate family, my inlaws and two very close friends. And I don't regret it at all.

I say keep it as quiet as possible. You can't untell it.

[juliegeraci 7]

If you need a week off work I wouldn't tell your boss why. If you have to lie then I would say the cyst. I would never tell a co worker in such a small office. My 2 cents.

[2boys2cute 0]

I am only telling close family and one of my close friends. Me and my friend are doing it together. We are not telling most people, because it is really more of a personal thing. If someone goes on a diet, you don't run around telling everyone you run into about it. So why should this be any different. We think it is good to have each another to go through this because we know its not going to be easy, so for now we just are not saying anything and just want to try and do the best we can to lose weight so we can both do more with our kids and husbands and have a much better quality of life! Thats what I love about this web site. Its a place for support and not being judged!

Thanks everyone!